Wrong Underwear - I am Ungrateful

For God sakes grow a pair

Ill fitting unsuitable underwear is a shit birthday present and you don't have to pretend to be grateful for it to spare his feelings when he clearly couldn't care less about yours.

Would you ever buy him underwear as a present at all? Let alone tiny speedos if he wears boxers? Size xxl if he is a medium? How would he react if you did?

Who cares if he sulks when you ask for the receipt (although that in itself indicates you have bigger things to worry about - surely you know that's not how a normal adult behaves).

Just ask him for the receipt and tell him "look I've told you several times now that if you're going to buy me underwear make sure it's something I'll actually wear and you don't seem able to do it, so please don't buy it anymore."

As long as you've got the receipt m&s might still give you credit even if they dont refund it. If they don't, buy yourself a present with the money you would have spent on HIS birthday present and he can keep the knickers -after all he clearly bought them for himself really.

It's feckin weird. What with her MIL and that awful husband, poor OP 😞.

Glad I’m not the only one who thought MiL buying underwear was icky !!

This is perfect. Get him something wildly inappropriate (leopard print or latex if poss) and then sulk about how he’s ungrateful if he won’t wear them.

Why can't you ask him to return unworn? I have gone with DH a few times to change presents as there is no point keeping something expensive you're not going to use or wear.
In fact I think I have worked out what DH has bought for my bday soon and I'm a bit disappointed. . He loves buying tech stuff but usually it's not what I want and that's what he's done again.I will see what transpires on the day.

Or a tiny thong for him

Also I would say, "DH, I've seen the stuff you've bought for my birthday. I don't even need to try it on to know that none of it will fit. By the time my birthday comes round it will be too late to return it. Can you return it now while you're still in the returns window and get me something that isn't underwear for my birthday please? Let's just accept that you buying me underwear doesn't work."

Ask him (and your MIL, ew) to stop buying you underwear.

Presumably nice underwear is a present for him rather than you anyway.

Wouldn't you rather shop for your own underwear and have him buy you something you actually want?

BTW.. I keep asking DH and DC NOT to buy me things like body moisturiser or bath oil and all that crap. I've got very sensitive skin and I like the products I buy myself. And I just don't have the room to store this stuff. It sits there for years. They used to get Boot's bumper gift packs of the stuff. I think they buy it from the MUM STUFF section.

Surely the bare minimum for a bra is that it fits, and I'd it doesn't fit it's pointless.

He's an idiot to get offended.

"Do you have a gift receipt? This is the wrong (size/ style/ etc)"

Let him have a mantrum about it

Just put a big note on the fridge.

No more underwear as birthday presents from anyone.

or a more polite version.

This year I'd like one of the following xyz presents. No more underwear, Ever. From anyone.

And for good measure take a photo and whatsapp it to both of them.

You need to put your big girl pants on (sorry couldn’t resist) and tell him. No point in him wasting money on expensive underwear if it’s not what you want - and I’d feel robbed too. Can you put the stuff you have on EBay or Vinted or something to try to recoup some of the money and then buy something yourself. Going forward I would be restating my requirements and telling him as nicely as possible that if he isn’t going to stick to that, then not to buy underwear.

Definitely get them up for sale (eBay you can charge more, but personally I don't find I sell much on there, possibly because of how huge it is; Vinted people don't want to pay very much, but I find things tend to go quite easily, especially good labels and/or new in packaging).

Is he receptive to a conversation about precisely what is wrong with the things he's buying you? And maybe being shown the kind of things you would like/ would be more suitable instead? I realise this is hand-holding, but just wonder if it's worth a try rather than going for the nuclear option.

So every Christmas and birthday your present is underwear (sorry lingerie?). I’d be bloody pissed off with that! Occasionally fair enough but every time? I’d have to say, Oi! stop buying me underwear and get me a proper present. Enough already!

A man buying you underwear isn’t for you it’s for him. It’s also not hard to get the right size, he’s just lazy. Wanting pants that fit is normal, you are not being ungrateful!

Buy him the wrong size/type of underwear for his birthday and Christmas every single year.

Or tell him your not buying for each other any more.

I think you're unreasonable to accept gift underwear that doesn't even fit you from your husband and MIL (how freaking weird - eww). Tell them to stop as the stuff never fits and it's a big waste of money that could be better used buying something you might actually like.

If they take offense, tough. Do they expect you to wear ill fitting, uncomfortable underwear? If so, this is about their egos, not your birthday.

I wish we still had the laugh emoji! OP, please do this

My husband would be pissed off if he bought me something that I couldn’t use, he’d much rather I have something that’s right for me regardless of what it is. If he got me something that didn’t fit he’d want to exchange for something that did. I think the issue here is your husband doesn’t care enough to ensure it’s something that will fit you & doesn’t care if you’re happy with it. It seems a very weird situation where he’s more bothered about himself, meeting his own wants & needs & getting offended over nothing

I do think you should be able to tell your own DH that something doesn’t fit without him getting in a huff. If it’s all about him trying to get you something ‘sexy’ then he needs to get a bit more imaginative. It’s also a kind of thoughtless present in a way because it’s not really trying to give you something you’d like or trying to understand who you are beyond a woman that wears underwear. Very odd that his DM buys you underwear too! I’d just tell him or, as some have suggested, get him some ‘sexy’ underpants (something really tight and maybe with a tiger pattern on it or sequins)…

I think what LoveHearts69 said is the best idea.

She doesn't want to say anything because he may be annoyed?

Is this another made up post? There seems to be so many lately.

😂😂the best solution so far!

Re the MiL underwear situation... There's a place you can order socks and underpants that come covered in the face of a photo you've uploaded.

I'd order a pair of boxers for him, with his mother's face on. And I'd buy a pair of knickers for her with his face on.. I'd leave them wrapped up on the kitchen table for them with a note saying I've gone to stay at my mothers.