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Original poster

12yr old DD flying solo? Am I crazy?

117 replies

Flyingfear85 · 30/07/2025 09:00

Posting here as I’m having mixed reactions from people. Also NC as I don’t want this to link to previous posts.
My dd12 is flying from Ireland to uk solo (she wants to) to stay with her GP and then her cousin.
I’m nervous at the idea and was mostly fine until I mentioned it to a few people…some of whom looked at me like I was crazy for allowing this! Am I? Will she be ok?

OP posts:
Original poster
Flyingfear85 · 30/07/2025 10:19

GreenCandleWax · 30/07/2025 10:15

Ireland to the UK is a short flight - no more than about an hour. If you take her to the airport and she knows what to do at departures, and is being met by DGPs, no problem surely.

Yeah it’s a 55min flight time in total

OP posts:
TheNightingalesStarling · 30/07/2025 10:17

Book her an aisle seat so she isn't boxed in.

Morgenrot25 · 30/07/2025 10:16

Flyingfear85 · 30/07/2025 10:08

She is being dropped to the airport by her dad , he will stay on site until her plane takes off. So in the case of delays etc he will be there (albeit in the other side) but if it’s cancel then he will be there to get her.

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There can be delays once on plane and once on the flight too. I just offered my view, only you can decide.

GreenCandleWax · 30/07/2025 10:15

Ireland to the UK is a short flight - no more than about an hour. If you take her to the airport and she knows what to do at departures, and is being met by DGPs, no problem surely.

Original poster
Flyingfear85 · 30/07/2025 10:13

MageQueen · 30/07/2025 10:11

While I agree this probably is a risk, I actually feel on a plane, with a child who knows what to do and how to ask for help, it's MORE manageable than on most other forms of public transport. This sort of thing happens on busses ALL the time and children, girls, women all learn very quickly that if we say something or try to get away, it's very unlikely that we'll get any help or support.

On a plane however, the airline has a very different standard of care and staffing process so it's actually the one time I'd feel like you'd be in a much more reliable position of getting help.

The sad truth is that with our children, especially our girls, we have to teach them how to manage this from a ridiculously young age. A plane feels like a better option where she can manage it better than other places.

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How do I broach this possibility and coach her on it without freaking the shit out of her?! 😭

OP posts:
MageQueen · 30/07/2025 10:11

Iloveagoodnap · 30/07/2025 10:04

My only concern would be who she ends up sitting next to. I was once on a coach journey when a young woman came and asked the woman sitting across the aisle from me if she could sit next to her as the man sitting across from where she’d been sitting had been looking at her and masturbating. She was very upset and she was an adult so if a child got stuck next to a creep like that it would be awful. I know the chances of that happening would be very small but that would be my worry about the situation.

While I agree this probably is a risk, I actually feel on a plane, with a child who knows what to do and how to ask for help, it's MORE manageable than on most other forms of public transport. This sort of thing happens on busses ALL the time and children, girls, women all learn very quickly that if we say something or try to get away, it's very unlikely that we'll get any help or support.

On a plane however, the airline has a very different standard of care and staffing process so it's actually the one time I'd feel like you'd be in a much more reliable position of getting help.

The sad truth is that with our children, especially our girls, we have to teach them how to manage this from a ridiculously young age. A plane feels like a better option where she can manage it better than other places.

Original poster
Flyingfear85 · 30/07/2025 10:08

Iloveagoodnap · 30/07/2025 10:04

My only concern would be who she ends up sitting next to. I was once on a coach journey when a young woman came and asked the woman sitting across the aisle from me if she could sit next to her as the man sitting across from where she’d been sitting had been looking at her and masturbating. She was very upset and she was an adult so if a child got stuck next to a creep like that it would be awful. I know the chances of that happening would be very small but that would be my worry about the situation.

This is my ultimate fear yes I must admit.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flyingfear85 · 30/07/2025 10:08

Morgenrot25 · 30/07/2025 09:55

I wouldn't let someone that age fly alone, for various reasons (delays, emergencies, unruly passengers), however lots of folk would be fine with it. As long as the airline allows it, which you've already clarified, then it's your choice. How does the child feel about it? Edit - I see you've updated that she's keen.

Edited

She is being dropped to the airport by her dad , he will stay on site until her plane takes off. So in the case of delays etc he will be there (albeit in the other side) but if it’s cancel then he will be there to get her.

OP posts:
Iloveagoodnap · 30/07/2025 10:04

My only concern would be who she ends up sitting next to. I was once on a coach journey when a young woman came and asked the woman sitting across the aisle from me if she could sit next to her as the man sitting across from where she’d been sitting had been looking at her and masturbating. She was very upset and she was an adult so if a child got stuck next to a creep like that it would be awful. I know the chances of that happening would be very small but that would be my worry about the situation.

MageQueen · 30/07/2025 09:59

It was only today I discovered children are allowed to fly unaccompanied. This is pretty interesting and exciting - I can see DD being off to visit her cousins as soon as I allow her as she's desperate to see them more often and my brother would be happy to have her!

But OP, I agree with everyone else - this is entirely a decision based on your DD's skills and confidence. Arguably, it's not that different to a single train journey, but potentially a bit safer because of extra security and processes and staff and all the rest. I'd be insisting on things like fully charged phones and portable chargers so she can stay in touch, but I think if she's confident then go for it.

stichguru · 30/07/2025 09:58

My cousins were about this age on solo flights to NZ! She'll be fine!

Morgenrot25 · 30/07/2025 09:55

I wouldn't let someone that age fly alone, for various reasons (delays, emergencies, unruly passengers), however lots of folk would be fine with it. As long as the airline allows it, which you've already clarified, then it's your choice. How does the child feel about it? Edit - I see you've updated that she's keen.

PestoHoliday · 30/07/2025 09:51

Honestly, it's a doddle. I did it myself from 11 and my child has from 13 (had other plans the year before, it wasn't as bout being the year older)

Original poster
Flyingfear85 · 30/07/2025 09:48

MrMucker · 30/07/2025 09:33

Sorry to break this to you, but much as it is a fantastic film it isn't actually a documentary.

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To be fair the girl actually leaves the airport in that…my dd is being met at the gate by her grandparents. If they are late(which they won’t) she’ll be prepped
on what to do

OP posts:
MrMucker · 30/07/2025 09:33

Pyjamatimenow · 30/07/2025 09:16

Nope. Have you seen ‘Taken’?

Sorry to break this to you, but much as it is a fantastic film it isn't actually a documentary.

Original poster
Flyingfear85 · 30/07/2025 09:22

onlymethen · 30/07/2025 09:20

My daughter flew solo often from That age and then with her brother once he turned 12 and she was 14. The only thing I’d worry about is that she may get the travel bug. My daughter is currently in Australia and has been to over 50 countries at her last count.

She loves travelling yes 🤣 she’s already counting countries

OP posts:
Original poster
Flyingfear85 · 30/07/2025 09:20

Pyjamatimenow · 30/07/2025 09:16

Nope. Have you seen ‘Taken’?

Yes I have…thanks for that…

OP posts:
onlymethen · 30/07/2025 09:20

My daughter flew solo often from That age and then with her brother once he turned 12 and she was 14. The only thing I’d worry about is that she may get the travel bug. My daughter is currently in Australia and has been to over 50 countries at her last count.

3luckystars · 30/07/2025 09:18

If you are nervous about the idea then don’t do it, (although I’m an over cautious person and would be sitting next to a child on every flight. )

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 30/07/2025 09:18

It sounds like she’s an experienced flyer and knows what to do so if you think she’s got the necessary knowledge it’s fine. Other people can be in a hurry to judge, but you know your child best.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 30/07/2025 09:17

Flyingfear85 · 30/07/2025 09:11

Yes it was her idea 🤣 she’s desperate to do it. Thank you.

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In that case, I don't see an issue.

Some people are nervous flyers themselves, so it's hard for them to imagine a 12yo doing it alone, but if the child feels confident, and you will be seeing her off/ having her met at the other end, it isn't that big a deal. Plus it's only a short flight.

Pyjamatimenow · 30/07/2025 09:16

Nope. Have you seen ‘Taken’?

Simonjt · 30/07/2025 09:16

Our son did it at the weekend age ten, so he was accompanied, but from experience when we’re clueless at the airport he is the one finding our gate. I was doing it alone from 10, and sometimes I had connections too, its actually much easier for children than train or bus stations as it’s much more contained and information is easier to find.

I hope she has a fab time!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 30/07/2025 09:15

I think it will be fine - I would have said depends on the child but you’ve obviously described a child who is capable and wants to do it.

My dd would have been ok at 12 (she did fly solo at 15 but I’m sure would have coped at 12) but my DS (currently 11) wouldn’t be ok to do it next year.

SoftPillow · 30/07/2025 09:14

Given all your updates I think I would go ahead.

Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be a secret bundle of nerves but she sounds like a great kid and I admire her adventurous spirit.

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