To feel sad that non of adult siblings got our baby a card

Well someone must send cards by the number of shops that sell them !

I don’t see the point in cards anyway but they are really pointless for a baby. I would much rather them be active and present in the babies life to be honest. Also the more children there are the less novelty it is for sure

Would the 1 year old really feel special because they got a card?

Giving me a card doesn't make me feel special. I just think "what a waste". If you've written me a nice message inside (which IME most people don't), I feel special, but I'm equally happy if you message/text/email/say this to me, it doesn't need the accompanying cardboard.

Cards are really outdated. They're expensive and bad for the environment. I'm not surprised young adults didn't get a 1 year old cards.

That said, I don't think your family is as blended as you think it is. The adult kids really aren't going to be attached to baby sibs. There's a whole generation between them. You essentially have two separate families.

Personally I think despite being siblings, they probably feel a bit detached from your 1 year old and therefore didn’t think to do this. I’m 26 but if my dad and stepmum had a baby when I was a touch younger I wouldn’t have a strong relationship with them due to the age gap. Plus, unfortunately not everybody (including family) see children and babies the same as you will do as a parent

I think this is what family Whats App group chats are for...

Hi Fam.. its Baby's 1st Birthday, come to the party.
If you were thinking of getting her a present , she adores bath toys atm.

My FIL.. made a sort of poster (I know!) of everyone's birthdays so we would never have an excuse.. it actually turned out to be quite useful.

Whats wrong with making people feel special by sending a card.

There are other ways to send a nice message. Cards and stamps have become absurdly expensive and most younger people are environmentally conscious and don't waste paper. Cards feel quite pointless & wasteful when you can send a text.

I see plenty of cards at baby showers ect

Whats wrong with making people feel special by sending a card.

The card shops and online shops haven't gone out of business so it's still working.

Cards for a one year old? Who cares? YABU.

And the word is none, not non.

I think cards have just dropped out of fashion. My DD just had her 15th birthday and got 4 cards, three from grandparents (one set separated) and one from us. None from aunts, uncles, adult cousins, her older sis, or her friends - up to this year friends gave each other handmade cards. But not this year. Me and DH get about 8 cards. Can't imagine giving one to a 1 yr old - probably would give gift.

Well you and your husband reared them @Fortiesmummy
I would be so disappointed if this happened in our family. It would be very odd.

I think it’s probably this OP. I have half siblings a lot younger than me and I’ve never really thought of them as siblings. I never lived with them and the age difference was just too big for me to feel much of a connection. I went to certain th8ngs when they were younger to keep the peace but I wasn’t really interested.

@Fortiesmummy do your children/family generally send cards? I'm amazed at the difference in people who do/don't since having my first. Eldest would have received 10-15+ from close friends/family even if there was no party to remind them, my youngest has never received a birthday card from extended family other than 1 grandparent. Not a single friend has ever sent a card to them. Christmas cards have gone from 60+ received annually down to maybe 10-15. This is despite my sending about 75 out each year. The vast majority of my social circle don't send cards at all but they tell me not to stop as they'd miss them.

Obviously if they send to everyone else and not your baby that's another thing. I'd not make a big issue but maybe if things pop up again like this again I'd be curious rather than judgmental and see if there's something behind it or if it really is just a changing demographic. I suspect it's the latter.

She’s only 1! She won’t know.

How old are the children involved?

If I was 20+ and my mum or dad had a new baby I wouldn’t be very attached to it. They’re literally grown adults with their own busy lives and the age gap is so big it probably doesn’t feel like a sibling.

It doesn't necessarily have to be anything deep on their behalf - more unthinking.

My BIL is early 20s, and even when he started earning well and I'd been buying him gifts for years, he only started getting me gifts when his girlfriend prompted him. He's talked a bit about spending time with our nephew, but he's not made much moves towards doing it - and I can hardly blame him, because I was similar with my niblings at his age.

And the relationship will be a bit more like aunt/nephew than siblings. My mum was hurt when I described my relationship with my 14-years-older brother as like having a young, fun uncle, but it wasn't my idea to have kids just when the older ones were off to university!

So long as they don't have an overt discomfort from it, try not to get hung up on it.

I wish this decline in card giving had reached my area of the North West. I've spent the last 18 years of my life ferrying my daughter to endless parties accompanied by cards, gifts,balloons etc. Has ramped up if anything as they all turned 18. Her friend group must be unusual according to this thread. I can't imagine not buying your 1 year old sister a card and a gift. Very mean-spirited.

Assuming these adults are late teens/early 20s, they may not have considered that a card would be expected for a one-year-child.

I recently went to the first birthday party of a friend's granddaughter. I took my 14-year-old daughter with me. I purchased a gift but realized as we were leaving for the party that I had forgotten to buy a card. My daughter said a card was not necessary because the baby wouldn't know anyway. I told her the baby's mother may like it as a keepsake from the first birthday, though, so we stopped and got one. Maybe they think the same as my daughter, which is not inherently wrong.

Or maybe they're just not that fussed about a 1-year-old sibling when they're young adults. I can't imagine that I would have been super thrilled about my parents having even another full sibling when I was 21 or whatever age they are.

So my adult children are not into cards .Think it's a generation thing but they always get a card and gift for their niece and pretty sure they will for the baby when it's his birthday.
I have kept all the cards my children were given when they were little.
Cannot imagine not giving cards to any of my family!

Just bcos you are happy about the baby doesn’t mean the rest of the family are.

Most people I know don’t send cards anymore. Stamps got expensive and if I’m going to see you to give you a card I’ll see you in person to wish you a happy or merry whatever

In lots of accents (e.g. many types of northern English), the suffix non- and the word none are pronounced the same.

As a result, it's a common mistake for people to write the wrong one e.g.
none-fiction or there were non.

If you pronounce these words differently (I do), it feels like a glaring error but, if not, I guess it's an easy mistake to make.

Only on Mumsnet would people think you are unreasonable for expecting gifts at a birthday party! Many people on here don’t have friends or family so don’t understand social norms!

of course it’s normal to expect gifts and I would be disappointed too.
I don't think you’l gain much for kicking up a fuss, but I would mention you are upset that their sister didn’t get any cards/ gifts. I’m sure they will be upset if they don’t get gifts on their bday 🤷🏻‍♀️