This was rude right? No thank you

It is a bit of an omission but the son did say thank you in person.

I'm wondering whether as a family they don't use phones much beyond absolute necessities (seeing as the boy doesn't have one at 13) and the in person thank you was deemed sufficient/ more important.

Ha, proving my point!

Last etiquette expert I saw on TV was a man.

The person you actually did the thing for thanked you. Of course that's enough.

Sounds like you want a round of applause for being so generous to take him out from all of his immediate friends and family.

@AmyDudley I agree wholeheartedly with your post.

@Theteenandme in the real world most people would agree it was a bit rude of the Dad not to text a quick thanks. Some might suggest you cut him some slack eg perhaps he was busy at work and forgot. Then the conversation would move on. Only on MN would people tear into you like this.

Over many years I have realised that MN masquerades as a place where you can chat to people like you would to real life friends but it’s actually a haven for people who get kicks out of being contrary.

You are being unreasonable because he's a bloke, and about as clued up on etiquette as the average.....

You thank someone when they do something for you.

You did something for the 13 year old and he thanked you.
You did nothing for the Dad and he didn't thank you.

If you think he should thank you because he was involved in the planning logistics, then equally you should thank him.

Mumsnet is weirdly impolite and most people wouldn’t say thanks for a lot of things on here it seems. I’ve seen so many saying it’s no big deal if people don’t say thanks for a present, it’s weird here. Op most people I know would send a text (thank god I hang in these circles) The kid was thankful, the dad should also be as you took his kid for a day and keep him alive. Regardless of why

Manners have gone to the dogs. Of course the father should have thanked you separately.

Well absolutely, but this is MN where any suggestion that people employ good manners in dealing with others is met with incredulity. For what its worth if someone had taken my child out for the day, paid for lunch etc. I would have sent a text or called and said 'thanks so much for taking James out, he really enjoyed himself' and I would have made sure I reciprocated the favour and took their kid out for a day at a later date. (and obviously I would expect my child to thank at the time as well).
You're not mad, this is MN - it's an alternative reality that bears no resemblance to the actual world.

Why not? The child thanked the OP. What a mean way to think, to not invite the child out again, because of the Dad not saying thanks. The child is not at fault.

Of course YANBU OP. As the old saying goes, manners cost nothing, and I find it incredible that this dad didn't thank you at all. I can't imagine receiving an invitation for my child which ended "my treat" and not immediately responding with "Thank you, that's really kind of you, he'd love to come." This would have, literally, cost his father nothing. Your standards aren't too high OP - this dad's are simply non-existent (but given your description of him as a "dosser" maybe this shouldn't be surprising).

Their not little kids having mummy meet ups and play dates where you paid for the dads coffee and croissant.

Hes 13, you invited the CHILD out and the child then thanked you. You didn't take the father and pay for him etc... whats he thanking you for really? Your not doing him a favor, its not like he had to do this if you didn't (you offered something seemingly pretending to just be being nice).

If you do stuff expecting certain rewards (including behaviors) in return you are doing them for wrong and selfish reasons. Honestly I have never had time or energy to sit a ruminate on everyone who said thank you for a day out (including those who weren't physically there) let alone write a 7 paragraph thread on it.

YABU, at 13 I’d expect the kid to have been the one thanking me, which he did. If I was the Dad I’d have maybe checked with the kid that he had said thank you but that’s all. At 13 my kids could have all been trusted to say thank you. I might have sent my kid with some extra money to buy a treat though.

Quite. I always say to my daughter, 'You said thank you, right?' when she stays at a friend's house, etc.

You are being quite rude and odd yourself. The child thanked you.

They're teenagers and child said thank you. All fine. You weren't doing the dad a favour, it's not like they're 3 and you helped him out with childcare.

A 13 year old should be responsible for their own social expectations so no - I wouldn't expect anything from the father directly. I have a 12 year old and have her friends round regularly and take them out etc and they thank me themselves.

I would personally text to say thank you for this if I had the other parent's number and knew they had spent money.

But quite often at 13 onwards they just make their own arrangements and the parents are not necessarily aware of or quite in possession of the facts.

DD2's good friend has just spend two nights at our place and I wouldn't expect profuse thanks from her mother for the same - DD has spent so much time at hers over the years and there is so much back and forth it's hard to keep up!

At 5 I'd say thank you for them in case they didn't, I'm big on thank yous and would get mine to write thank you cards for all presents. At 13 I would expect them to say thank you for themselves and not be expect to have to do it myself/ensure it has been done.

The child was well behaved and polite and that's the main thing.

Agree-
at a certain age the dynamics around socializing change.

The polite father may have asked son “did u thank the family?” Son says “yes, profusely”

Father doesn’t need to text you.

If you're needing to start a thread about it and argue with strangers as to why you're right, it definitely says more about you than him.

I think a 13 year old is responsible enough to thank you for himself. I'm sure when he got home his parents asked "Did you say thank you to X's mum?" and he did.

A thank you afterwards from the dad would have been nice but if the son did it, not the end of the world. I would be pissed off at no thanks during the organising stage though. That's really bloody rude. So you text along the lines of 'would x like to come to the beach with us? My treat' and he doesn't reply with something like 'sounds great, thanks' but just 'yeah'? Fucking rude. It's like the people who want to take things being given away for free on Facebook and can't bring themselves to say please or thank you. They're bloody rude too but people on here will insist there's no pleases or thank you required there either as they are the ones doing you a favour. Madness

I think an in-person and sincere thank you at the end of the day was more than enough. YABU