This was rude right? No thank you

The smug supercilious lot that say 'oh my God how standards have slipped, society has gone to wrack and ruin/the dogs'

seriously? can you not get it into your head that people do things differently to you.

It would be fine to say 'I would have sent a thank you' as it is fine for people to say 'I would not have sent a thank you'

but no, you have to bang on that people who don't do things the way you do are terrible rude people who are ruining society.

That's so rude
I don't know how people cannot just express a quick thank you. Takes seconds!
Everytime my son goes anywhere I always text a quick thanks to the parent if I don't see them in person. It's basic courtesy !

We once took ds's mate to Portugal. Free..
Cost him a passport....
No thanks whatsoever..
Ds and the mate were horrific the first week so we sent them home on a plane...
Took 3 months of nagging before she gave me the £70 for his flight back....

YANBU. I would absolutely have expected a thank you. Good manners cost nothing.

I totally understand your question . It's no big deal but a thankyou from the dad would just be a reasonable response for his son having a lovely day out , I always thank parents for doing the same .
Some of the replies you've had are amazing , these people must sit trawling through mn desperate to find threads they can be vile on .
And to suggest that you may have feelings for the father is beyond ridiculous, what's going on in the heads of these people ???
It's friendly , kind and just reasonable to say thankyou , why wouldn't you ???
Anyway , I think you should defo get on the Internet and self diagnose yourself with autism or maybe adhd , and maybe you will find out your also a massive narcissist .

Oh a yes fish and chips are bloody expensive now but can't beat eating them by the sea with loads of salt and vinegar ( I'm sure now I'll get loads of people saying I have an unhealthy salt and vinegar addiction and I should divorce my husband , if I had one ! )
Have a lovely day

It's a teenager who is perfectly capable - and did, in fact - thank the OP in person. If we we were talking about a toddler or whatever that would of course be different.

To expect more than a thankyou from the actual person you did the nice thing for is completely overbearing.

Would those saying YABU really not say thanks in your reply if you received a text asking if your DC wanted to come on a day out? So you receive a text saying 'would x like to come to x, my treat'?' and you reply 'yes' rather than 'yes thanks'? You genuinely don't think that's the social norm? The text afterwards may not be necessary but I would have thought a thanks at the point when the offer is made is pretty standard.

You sound really fixated on money and completely overbearing! I think the dad didn't reply because he really doesn't want to have to deal with you any more than he has to.

The title of this post is incorrect:

This was rude right? No thank you

There was a thank you - from the child - and that's all that should matter. You quite hung up on the dad, what's going on there?

I've gone with YABU even though I would have sent a follow up text to thank you if I was the parent. We recently had a big gang of SD's friends staying the weekend, and out of 4 kids (13-16) that she brought with her, we only had contact from one of the parents beforehand and got thank yous from that one and one other. Two of the kids we'd never met before and we live 3 hours away from SD. I was a bit surprised tbh, if I was letting DD or SD go off to a mass sleepover at their friend's Dad's house, who I'd never met, 3 hours across the country, the bare minimum would be a phone call to check they aren't weird.

I guess parents try not to get involved nowadays.

You started the thread about a non issue, so what makes you think it wouldn’t fill three+ pages? This is MN!

I agree with you that it’s not that deep. You know that social convention is that you would be thanked for this, but you weren’t. It’s a minor lack of manners with no actual consequences. Let it go.

At 13 I wouldn’t expect a parent to be thanking me.

Because she is an adult and you did not organise her trip.

That’s pretty obvious.

Think this post sums it up for me.

Fwiw I never enjoyed taking my kids' friends out with me so I saw it as a chore. I did it willingly but I'm glad those days are done with now. By the time they're 12/13 the parental involvement in friendships and arrangements becomes less so it's 50/50 whether you'll hear back from a parent or not.

Not to be a shit-stirrer but I do think women tend to heap these social obligations on themselves and others. In my experience men don't seem to heed them so much.

I'd think if the lad thanked you and was polite throughout, that's sufficient gratitude.

Do you have teens?
Generally (I appreciate not the case in this instance) they make their own plans, which sometimes involve other parents. You quite often don't know their parents at all, let alone have their phone numbers. It's not practical to thank them every time they do something for your child. You expect the child to do the thanking, and you thank in kind by doing something for their child on another occasion.
You don't make a point of contacting them when you don't otherwise normally do so.

My DD is going on holiday with her boyfriend and his parents. Can I just check if I am expected to thank them (she is 19)? If you think "not", then why is this?

Honestly I would find it way over the top if my teenager's friends' parents started messaging me with elaborate thanks each time we take one of them out with us.

I agree.

What do fish and chips have to do with it?

@AmyDudley @PigletSanders @whatcanthematterbe81 I totally agree. I can't get my head around this "the kid thanked you so the dad doesn't have to" nonsense. When did good manners become an either/or thing? I can't imagine not thanking another parent for simply offering the treat in the first place, let alone taking care of my child and returning them to me safely, yet this dad didn't thank OP at all. Thank goodness some of us do have higher standards and better manners.

Absolute rubbish, he’s just probably not been taught to be a people pleaser and pathetically grateful for everything like a lot of women are.

Well, you know what to do when the child’s dad offers to take your son out for the day…………shower him with ‘thank you’s’ naturally, he’ll get the message then won’t he?
Seriously though, it doesn’t hurt to ping a message to say ‘thanks for taking xxxx with you today, he says he had a great time with you and yyyy’! Manners maketh man!

In that Dads shoes I would have asked my DS if he thanked you properly and if he said yes then I wouldn't think of sending a message.

I think it demonstrates how differently men and women are socialised and that they don’t as a rule overthink things. Child said thanks that’s enough, you can bet he’s not tying himself in knots about it.

i know im making huge generalisations but the martyrs on here (and i can be one if im not careful) could take a leaf out of his book.

The kid was thankful, the dad should also be as you took his kid for a day and keep him alive.

But why? With a younger child this makes some sense as best case it's providing childcare and worse case it's giving you a break. But taking a 13 year old out for the day as opposed to them making some other plans? Literally makes no difference to me as a parent (I'm probably out at work).

I find it incredulous how many people seem to be obsessed with thank yous. Tons of topics on MN how someone was not thanked, or they were thanked by email or text and no official handwritten thank you note has arrived. How do you have the energy to keep track of all that and get yourself all worked up?