This was rude right? No thank you

You don't (as a parent) generally organise trips for your teens either.
I wouldn't say the dad did the "organising here" - more that he relayed phone messages.

Or is it the "adult" that's the defining point? So it's imperative on me to thank another parent when my child is 17 and 364 days and not at 18 and 1 day? Even if (say) the child is at sixth form?

Love the way that basic courtesy is described as being 'grovelling' and 'obsequious': only on Mumsnet, hey!

I had a similar situation but, in fairness, the parent picked the child up and witnessed their own child saying 'thank you'. So that's a bit different and perfectly reasonable. Clearly a case of the child taking responsibility.

Although. I had a situation like OP's once and I did the judge the parents. It's not hard to fire off a quick thank you text.

Hi theteenandme, thanks so much for taking the boys out today. "Xxxxxx' had a great time... hopefully we can return the favour at some point

Done

I am with you. I took my son’s friend away for the weekend, it was expensive but I wanted to. The child thanked me, the parents thanked me before we went, after we dropped him off, bought me flowers and texted me to say how much he enjoyed it. I then texted back to say how much I enjoyed his company. It’s nice to be appreciated and I’ll take him away again.

You were clearly raised by wolves...

I would not think to say thank you in this circumstance. I tell my kids to say thank you and I ask them if they have done so when they get home or when I pick them up (and if they forgot -which is very unlikely) I would get them to text the parents or go back and thank them. But I would not do it myself.

I also honestly don't feel personally grateful very often. I like having my kids around. I don't always love the little incremental additional things I have to do if one of the kids goes out with a friend (provide spending money - even if I expect that the friend's parent will pay for most things - especially as this can entail a 30km round trip to a cashpoint if I don't have cash on hand, snacks, water, small treat for my kid and the friend, drop them off, think about my other children and if it is reasonable that they are missing out etc). So my child should be grateful (assuming they wanted to go) but I see no real reason why I should be.

If it were the other way round I would not want nor welcome a thanks just out of politeness. A thank you from the child is fine - seeing that they genuinely had a great time and enjoyed it (irrespective of what words were used) much more rewarding.

A teenage boy said thank you. I would go his parents have raised him well but that’s not enough for the OP. Have a friend like this wants praise and acknowledgment for every good deed they do.

You can't tell other people it's not that deep when they reply to YOUR own thread

And then get arsey when they point this out

You really are coming across quite rude yourself tbh

I think this is the difference too. I just think it's such basic manners; it wouldn't even occur to me NOT to say thank you, however old the children/teens were.

I don't think is rude.
The dad is not the subject of the treat, were your son and his friend, who happens who be the son of a man. A man that you approached to organise the treat for the boys.
I would think the thank you from the kid covers all.
I wouldn't expect a thank you from his dad or any other person than the kid himself.
But I have to say that I'm not British so I don't know if this is one of this differences we have in the way of be polite.

Well I'd definitely feel a bit miffed if I'd taken someone else's child out and paid for everything and the parent didn't thank me...I mean it's not the end of the world but it would certainly irk me.

@Theteenandme I would have thanked you beforehand, asked if my son thanked you on his return, then texted to confirm, if he lied about thanking you I would apologise immediately, thank you for being candid issue a severe punishment and text you with an update on the sanction. Then I would drive him to your house and make him thank you in person before going home to draft a detailed letter of thanks, not less than three sheets of basildon bond to be posted first class the following morning

It would have been nice if he had sent a text. But I don't think it was rude not to since the kid said thank you.

"It's not the deep" says the person who made a whole thread because they felt personally affronted not to get a thank you from someone they didn't take out...

At the risk of a flaming I think quite a lot of people and often it's men, will only text to convey information that is 100% necessary..so a text as a social nicety to say thanks is seen as being unnecessary.

Yup. She sounds insufferable.

The child said thank you so that’s enough.

Fish and chips is almost £14 at our local chip shop.

I got really pissed off when my daughters friends dad didn't even come to the door when I dropped her off. I was expecting at least a hello

Same. I can't imagine writing a thread about only getting one thanks.