This was rude right? No thank you

My friend’s daughter stayed with me for a couple of nights last week to hang out with my daughter. She thanked me. My friend messaged to say thank you. My daughter has gone to stay with a school friend for a couple of nights. I’ve messaged the mum to say thank you. No doubt my daughter will thank her also.

It’s hardly the crime of the century if you don’t get a thank you from the parent. But it isn’t good manners!

And in the OPs defence, I don’t see any evidence of being worked up or stewing over anything!

'Of age' for what? Sex? Voting?

I think you are right but I wouldn’t worry about it since the kid was polite.

Some people are like this and seem to think you’re dying to have their child’s company!

Thank you for pointing this out. Handwritten thank you letter is in the mail.

I of course expect a thank you card thanking me for the letter.

At 13 I genuinely couldn't get worked up about it, at that age they are responsible for their own manners.
Some would text, some wouldn't, neither is wrong imo. Personally I probably would drop a text but I wouldn't demand one if I had organised the trip

I think the boy thanking you is enough. And yes fish & chips is now expensive! A few years ago mine & dd's fish & chips for 2 was close to £20 plus they bloody charged for a piddly portion of ketchup. I recently discovered a place that does f&c for around £9.20 and it was a perfect sized portion. Often there's just too much for 1 person. Also Wetherspoons f&c & mushy peas is usually v good

Perhaps the dad knows you consider him a “dosser”. I wouldn’t have let you take my child anywhere knowing you felt that way about me, personally. Good of him to put his feelings aside for the sake of his child.

Because at the end of the day, the parent benefits from this too. Their kid is entertained for the day without having to put a hand in their pocket.

As the parent, I would have thanked you as well as expecting my child to.

To me, a child should be taught to say thank you and take responsibility for their own behavior rather than relying on mommy and daddy to do it for you. A teenager should absolutely know to say thank you, and in this case, he did so I don't see the problem.

If it was arranged through the dad then I think he should have dropped a thanks somewhere. Just common decency. Don't know if it's a covid thing or just this generation but the amount of entitled, badly mannered people I'm coming across is astounding.

To me, a child's parents still say thank you until the child is "of age".

Thank you, RimTimTagiDim, for thanking randomchap for raising the issue of thanks.

I thank my 12 yr old dds friends parents if they take them out or have them for sleepovers.
DD thanks them too but I think the difference is I’m friends with the parents, what have a WhatsApp group and so I’m. Communicating with them anyway.

This is what I’d have done.
When DD was younger I’d ask when she got back whether she said thank you. If so, job done. If not, a reminder that she should have and to do so when she saw the parent concerned again, plus a text from me saying thank you in the meantime.

We all have different expectations. When a teenager friend of my kids thanked me, it brought a huge smile to my face. It was lovely to hear kids being appreciative. I raised my kids to do the same.

What I would find bad manner is a parent calling to thank me on behalf of their kid because after a certain age, I would expect them to have taught their kids to do it for themselves.

It's never crossed my mind to expect thanking from both the child and the parent. Its the act that's thanked.

When my sons were younger and if any other parents took them anywhere I would send my son round with a token gift to say thank you. I would also ring the parent to thank them ( No mobiles then) I think it's common decency,.

This

The son said thank you why do you need two? At 13 I'd absolutely expect my child to do the thanks rather than me.

I'd definitely say thank you if I was him. It's good the child already did thank you personally though.

Hopefully this dad will reciprocate and have your kid at his expense, including overpriced fish and chips next time!

Thank you for raising the issue of thanks.

I'd just like to thank you for starting this thread, I hope everyone else involved thanks you individually too

Yes, the polite and decent thing would have been for the Dad to say thank you.

Maybe he reminded his son to thank you, which he did.

But I can’t imagine totting up thank you’d, stewing and starting a MN thread about it. Unless there is a much bigger picture, involving habitual CF-ery etc.

Things get forgotten sometimes.

You had a nice day, your Ds and friend had a nice day, the friend was polite and thanked you and hopefully you enjoyed the F&C

I'd say you are being pretty demanding to want extra thanks 🤷‍♀️

Whether that's a text/letter/call after thanks was given verbally for a present or for someone else to thank you when you did literally nothing for them.

The boy is 13. It's not like they'd have had to arrange childcare on this day otherwise. You'd have arranged it with him if he'd had his phone

You had plenty of thanks