This was rude right? No thank you

Did the child thank you? If so I think that is fine at age 13. It is nice to get a text from the parent but not always necessary.

I’ve noticed on other threads as well that manners don’t seem very important to some people. It would have cost him nothing to drop you a text saying thanks. I used to if one of my kids were being treated to something by another parent. It’s just good manners.

Please tell me you aren't really saying the dad isn't thanking the OP simply because she's a woman but he would if she was a bloke?!

You really think a bloke would thank another bloke for taking his 13 year old son out. Not as a favour to him but just so the friends could spend the day together?! There aren't enough laughing emojis to respond to that!

The lad said thank you. He’s 13 ffs not 5.

Under the same circumstances I would have sent a thank you text.

Fish and chips costs a fucking fortune these days, and that's before the mushy peas.

Why present a scenario which is not the same as OP's? Stick to the facts as presented by OP. Even she has conceded that if this was a social arrangement made directly between her son and his friend, with no involvement required from either parent, then that would be different. Are you actually saying that if another parent messaged you to offer a day out for your 13yr old with them and their son and finished with "our treat", you'd simply reply, "OK"? Not even an "OK, thanks"? This dad hasn't thanked OP at all.

I think that if the Dad said thanks during planning, and the son said thanks at the time, then that's enough really. I'd not be looking for more.

Tbh I'd prefer the thanks coming from the son, it means more as he was the one you'd made the effort for. The gratitude of children counts at least as much as that of adults.

The only exception would be if he'd rung you asking to look after his son, cos working hours had changed, but that's very different.

My 13yr old daughter was out with her friend this week. In fact she stayed over, and was taken out the next day for a family day trip to the funfair, and for fish & chips. I have not text... I know she will have been polite and thanked them herself, plus in my case I actually don't have their number.

I think the kid saying thanks is enough.

I’d bet my last Rolo that if you’d been the dad the friend’s df would’ve thanked you.

And yes, fish and chips is expensive!! But tbf fish is expensive to buy

I'd expect the 13 year old to thank me but not necessarily their parent.

I would have said thanks. But my sons just turned 12 and they are kind of becoming responsible for themselves a bit more now. I think the child saying thanks is enough at this age. As it was for him not his dad. So the thanks from the child is the thanks you need.

I'd have probably sent a thank you text, and I think so would most of the parents I know at that age. But it's definitely not a big deal or seriously rude. The 13 year old themselves said thank you, which I think is more important as they are the one being treated. I think it's something that changes as they get older. I wouldn't expect an 18 year old's parents to thank me. I would expect a 5 year old's. A 13 year old is a bit inbetween.

I swear that Mumsnet gets more batshit by the day. Some of these replies!!

OP

1. No YANBU - it's ridiculously rude not saying thank you. Nice that the son did say it though.
2. You don't sound money obsessed - fish and chips are pretty expensive these days - I didn't take that as a comment on your entire day, just as an aside about how the price has gone up.
3. You don't sound like you have the hots for the Dad.

I'm sorry for some of the weird responses you have received!

I'm on the fence OP, can't decide if you are altruistic, autistic or an unusual mix of the two.

Perhaps he had a lot on his mind, but yes if I was the dad, I'd be embarrassed to remember I hadn't even said cheers/thanks for that. But then I'm Irish so can't get off a bus without thanking the driver.
As an aside whenever me and my wife visit our in-laws in Indonesia, the father often drives us for hours in a day, with also regularly a car full of his grown up children. It is indeed only I who throw up any thanks to the man at the end of the journey, driving there with crazy traffic whilst everyone else sleeps or doom scrolls, then get out of the car without so much as a say so, and I can't get my head around it! I've mentioned it to my wife and she says that cos he's their dad they don't have to say it. Naaaah I don't buy that. My dad gives me a lift, my mam cooks me dinner (sorry for the sexist roles) they are getting thanks or I'm a git.
So to heck with them, I say thanks to him! And if I drive him. He says thanks. And sometimes now I think of it even the others say thanks to me. They must think I'm odd/intense AF 😂

Hi all

First time posting, so here goes, LOL

Mountain out of a molehill comes to mind.

Didn't you have a good time as well ?? Stop moaning and enjoy the time you spent together.

why do you need a thank you?
also maybe hes busy and forgot. also guys tend to not realise etiquette of things like that

I still think the parent should have said thank you, as you've went out you're way for their child and also out of pocket, manners cost nothing.

You took the friend out not the dad, the friend was thankful and that's all you need. Stuff like this would never bother me unless the friend wasn't grateful. YABU.

The child said thank you, no need for the parent to.

I think fish and chips have for a long time been associated with the working class...but yes, it's so expensive nowadays

Fish and chips are horrifically expensive these days. I can't afford them.

I would think of age of being able to say thank you themselves, which the friend in question did.

Oh I love these deliberately obtuse posts. What do you think? Do you think she was talking about sex or voting?

Think hard.