Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have i misinterpreted him?

30 replies

jacki9 · 30/07/2025 05:34

How would you take this comment? I’m on holiday with my ex and our DC. We have been separated almost 4 months. Here and there during the holiday he’s tried to kiss or hold me and i’ve been very upfront and told him no as nice as i can and he’s seemed ok with it, we even have separate rooms so he knows (well i hoped) that it’s not a ‘fix us’ holiday. But then yesterday, he got so drunk which i found an issue in its self since we are abroad and we have 3 DC here with us. Here’s the part where i need opinions please. Our rooms are connecting and i was lying on the bed on my front when he came into mu room and put his hands between my legs. This startled me and i jumped up and said ‘please don’t do that, we are not together and i don’t like it, that’s is crossing a line’. He stormed back to his room calling me a joke, then after a few moments called me over to him on his balcony, i approached him but he was so drunk he was wobbly and it made me nervous for him so i said to him ‘be careful on here (balcony) you’re a bit wobbly and your making me nervous you’ll fall. His response, you’re the one who has to be careful not me. All the while i’m the sober one. I took this as a threat of ‘he’ll push me off the balcony’ especially the tone in which it was said. Do you think i misinterpreted his words?

OP posts:
Pinkgiraffe34567 · 30/07/2025 06:08

Do you think it could have been his (very bad) attempt at ‘kinky’ talk while drunk?

Steelworks · 30/07/2025 06:04

The balcony comment could be seen as a threat, or a clumsy joke.

However, he repeatedly tried to touch you even though you clearly didn’t give consent. That to me is a major red flag.

Lurkingandlearning · 30/07/2025 06:01

That was awful. You’re separated so don’t even give him the chance to gaslight you. Make a note of it as a record but don’t bother trying to discuss it. You know what he did and said and that’s good enough reason to limit all communication with him to email solely about co parenting. Don’t allow him in your home again and refuse to do any joint activities with your children. That is what separated means for a lot of people and you don’t have to justify to him why you want to be one of those people. If he says he doesn’t understand why, acts as if he doesn’t remember, ignore him. He almost certainly does remember but even if he doesn’t, you do.

jacki9 · 30/07/2025 05:51

@MamaNellThat’s how i took it (as a threat). I just know when he wakes up he’ll gaslight me like he always does and say i misunderstood him, but i couldn’t see any other way he would mean that comment. Today is our last day, we fly home later this evening.

OP posts:
MamaNell · 30/07/2025 05:40

No you didn’t misinterpret. That was a threat.

How much longer are you there? Ask to change rooms.