Why’s my sofa in your lounge?

Totally agree. As a child my Mum was widowed and money was tight, so 'things' were precious and cared for. Family over the road were really well off (lovely too) and had so much more than us. BUT nothing was ever cared for, dog all over carpets and sofa with muddy paws, new vacuum trashed in a year as never put away and left out in the rain, watches etc regularly lost! Oh and they were the only people I have ever known who regularly ran out of petrol! They never understood we cared for things as there was no money to replace them!

I'd be furious about that especially having a dog parked on it. Totally unacceptable 😑.
I would suggest that they keep that sofa and purchase another new sofa for you in 6 months time when you need it.

Sil obv has a huge living room if can fit in a corner sofa - 2 seat sofa and 2 chairs Plus your own sofa

misses point of Thread 😂

but yes cheeky

so you will have 5 grubby fingers if kids on it and a slobbering dog

def get it moved

if it wouldn’t have been an issue why didn’t they say to you …….

That's bonkers. But if SIL didn't need the sofa, we're your ILs keen for her to take it instead? Then you go off the deep end because WTF (understandably) and she's offended because she was doing her parents a favour and you've made her feel like her kids are too filthy to sit on it?

Yeah, they totally did not expect to get busted, so had to downplay the sheer CF-ery of their behaviour because there is literally no explanation that would make this ok.

I think your ILs are really cheeky they should have asked you.
Generally it is not a good idea to store your things in someone else’s property.
All dogs smell but some owners get blind to the smell of their dog.

They've all got access to a phone to ask OP would she mind.
They did it quietly because they hoped she wouldn't realise or if she did, she'd be too embarrassed to demand it back and they could write it off as the sil "storing" it for her.

My DM used to do this all the time.. gift my possessions to visiting relatives..eg a brand new coat "Well I've never seen you wear it!" I think she was addicted to being thanked for her generosity. I was the bad guy if I complained or asked for it back. I didn't know until I had my own children that people actually paid for babysitting!

I think your in-laws wanted to be seen as generous - without having to part with anything themselves. Your SIL is just grasping. Both of them knew exactly what they were doing, but are falling back on the defence that if both of them protest that they didn't think you'd mind/needed it that it must be true and expect you to accept that.

You can't trust either of them with your stuff, or you could but the price in real terms is far too high. Better off getting storage.. and send them the bill for cleaning - but they will never pay it. They are CF users and this characteristic has probably come out in other dealings with you. You know that now, so reduce any future opportunities.

@BdayQ completely outrafeous. Is SIL a bossy cow/golden child who’s kind of bossed PIL into it when they ought to have said ‘ask your DB/SIL’?

unbelievable!

I would not expect anyone to want a sofa after my tiny little dog who is regularly bathed and treated regularly for fleas and worms has slept on it.

I’m with op, completely agree.
Your comment however, is just trying to rile up people who have a dog, care for them and are respectful of other people’s property.Only a person, who doesn’t like animals, would say, they all stink! Quite pathetic of you.

The crazy thing here is that they're singing off the same hymn sheet and trying to make you out to be the weird one. Are they truly oblivious or just gaslighting you?
No, that isn't what was agreed and to use your stuff without asking first is bad form. You now know never to leave anything in their care, they will assume it's up for grabs and can be treated like a loan free item. Also, is your DH scared of your SIL? Seems like you had to call out his family on their CFery.

YANBU.

I rented my house out for a couple of years whilst I was in my twenties and stored my furniture at my parents house.

Unbeknown to me my DM "loaned" my furniture to my DB who trashed most of it. I'd saved up for decent furniture and it was under a year old when I left. It all came back covered in cat scratches, cup marks and stains, which was entirely predictable.

My parents had acres of space to store my stuff and loads of old furniture of their own stored too, but apparently mine was nicer...

DB was shocked when I said that I wanted the chair covers on the dining chairs replaced.

Yes I am still bitter.

I think this sounds like an entitled SIL. I know someone like this, they never consider other people’s feelings ir opinions, just what they want ir is convenient for them. I think you stick to your position or they’ll just take the piss constantly- can you imagine if it gets stained or ruined, do you think anyone will offer to pay for it?

I dunno I could go either way on this one. ILs were storing it for free right? And presumably it was taking up a while romme that they weren’t charging you rent for. They perhaps saw an opportunity to get their space back… you needed the sofa somewhere, SIL wanted a nicer sofa for a bit, everyone’s a winner. Chances are they wouldn’t have trashed it in a couple of months.

How on earth did this even come about in the first place? I would be really concerned they are playing this down, all this false bewilderment!

Id be fuming. They think its ok to give your stuff away.

Some people are so weird!!!!!

I'd be gobsmacked and fuming!

The cheek of some people never ceases to amaze me. YANBU at all.

@BdayQ what a bloody cheek of the lot of them!!! why the hell did your in laws think it was acceptable to give your sofa to their daughter when you left it in a bedroom at their house???? why the hell did sil think it appropriate to even take it without asking??? tantamount to theft!! is she the child who has always been given everything she wanted?????

Yanbu. No way would i want toddler or dog near it. Very weird as not needed at SILs

I’d be furious! Did they know you were going to be popping round to SILs? Were they hoping you wouldn’t notice or just that you’d be too scared to say anything? Cheeky fuckers.

I think the best strategy here is to purloin something of hers, don't give it back until you get your sofa back, if she trashes your thing you trash hers etc.

I think the main point here is your SiL ASKS