Page 3 | Why’s my sofa in your lounge?

BdayQ · 2025-07-30T00:17:36+00:00

We are in the process of moving house and are currently in a rental whilst we wait for the new house to be ready (expecting it to be about 6 months) We have a fairly new 3 piece suite but only room for the chairs in the rental place, so ILs offered to store the sofa until the new house is ready. They have a big house and said it could go in a downstairs bedroom that never gets used. DH took it over in a van and took into the room it was supposed to stay in. Anyway, we’ve come to stay with them today for a couple of days, went to see SIL this evening and there’s our sofa in her living room with a toddler and a dog sat on it! No covers or anything and just sat there like it’s supposed to be there. DH didn’t know it was there either until we saw it but he wasn’t saying anything, so it was left for me to question why it was there… nobody could give a good reason why it’s at SILs house and were looking at me like I was mad for asking. DH then said we wanted it back in the spare room at ILs house rather than being used in SILs heavy footfall house and potentially getting damaged. We did say if there was a problem storing it at ILs as per the agreed plan, it wasn’t a problem and we could arrange a storage unit instead. ILs just looked surprised/confused and said it was fine to move it back to theirs “if that’s what you want” in a bewildered sort of way. Apparently SIL scoffed like we were idiots for even bringing it up and said “FFS, what do you think it’s going to happen to your precious sofa?!” although that was when I was out of the room and DH only told me later that she said that. AITA here? I pretty much know I’m not, but ILs and SILs reaction suggest they think there’s nothing wrong with moving it - but the audacity! And why the secrecy? Apparently they didn’t tell us because it wasn’t a big deal. But like I say, there’s also seemingly no good reason for it to have been moved, they’ve not even attempted to give a reason/excuse, just the offer to move it back to ILs “if that’s what you want.”

RowanRed90 · 31/07/2025 06:25

HiRen · 30/07/2025 02:50

I think this is one of those situations where people see the same thing completely differently.

My SIL often asks to try on a ring I have. It’s my mum’s very dear to me, huge sentimental value. Nothing is going to happen to it if she tries it on. But I don’t like taking it off, I don’t want it on her finger. To her, it’s a random piece of jewelry. To me, it’s part of my mum.

To your PILs and SIL, it’s just a sofa. Literally meant for sitting on. To you, it’s your home furniture. Where you feel cosy and safe and it’s yours.

It's not their sofa though?!

Pancakeorcrepe · 31/07/2025 06:12

Gosh her house sounds chaotic! Five kids with sticky jam fingers and a dog were definitely going to ruin your sofa. I’ve got one dog and even with covers etc,my sofa has a lot more wear and tear.

hhtddbkoygv · 31/07/2025 05:09

ButteredRadish · 30/07/2025 12:39

Tell us you’re an animal hater and know nothing about animals without telling us…… 🙄

• Not all dogs are dirty (especially when well looked after)
• Many, many dog breeds do not shed fur at all
• Many, many dog breeds are hypoallergenic and can be around those who are allergic without any reaction at all
• Most sofa covers can be washed…..

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I absolutely adore dogs, I wouldn't allow them on my sofa or furniture though.

You don't have to hate something for you not to want it on your furniture. 🤔

SatsumaDog · 31/07/2025 04:34

ohnotthisagain2025 · 31/07/2025 02:54

You sound unhinged. Everyone - and I do mean every single person on the whole earth with a functional sense of smell - understands that dogs smell. All of them. The clean ones, the brushed ones. All of them.

If you are actually making this claim, you should see a doctor and have your sense of smell checked, it can be a symptom of other more serious issues.

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Exactly! Of course dogs smell. I can tell if someone owns a dog the minute they open their front door. I love dogs, would have one myself if I had the time, but they all smell of dog. It’s not a hideous smell imo, but a sofa will pick it up if it’s regularly sat on by a dog.

SatsumaDog · 31/07/2025 04:30

That’s ridiculous! It will get completely ruined by the time you get it back. What CF’s!

unsurewhattodoaboutit · 31/07/2025 04:17

Did you realise that you had married into hillbillies? What a bunch of CFs!

ohnotthisagain2025 · 31/07/2025 02:54

Justchilling07 · 31/07/2025 02:06

You’re just contradicting yourself.You don’t love dogs, because if you did, you wouldn’t be referring to all dogs as smelly! That’s fine you don’t want a dog on your couch, dogs are intuitive, would pick up on your hostility that you can’t stand them anyway, know they’re not welcome.
As already said, if you’re going into other people’s homes and they smell, that’s just neglect.If they looked after their dog properly, there would be no odour or dirt.

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You sound unhinged. Everyone - and I do mean every single person on the whole earth with a functional sense of smell - understands that dogs smell. All of them. The clean ones, the brushed ones. All of them.

If you are actually making this claim, you should see a doctor and have your sense of smell checked, it can be a symptom of other more serious issues.

ohnotthisagain2025 · 31/07/2025 02:52

joliefolle · 30/07/2025 23:01

Oh ok well you know best.

Yes, I certainly do know what constitutes logic and being rational, so thanks for seeing that.

Waterweight · 31/07/2025 02:48

Put it up for sale - give SILs address for where to pick it up - put a deposit on a new one if a replacement can't be affordable straight away

NeedZzzzzssss · 31/07/2025 02:11

Justchilling07 · 31/07/2025 02:06

You’re just contradicting yourself.You don’t love dogs, because if you did, you wouldn’t be referring to all dogs as smelly! That’s fine you don’t want a dog on your couch, dogs are intuitive, would pick up on your hostility that you can’t stand them anyway, know they’re not welcome.
As already said, if you’re going into other people’s homes and they smell, that’s just neglect.If they looked after their dog properly, there would be no odour or dirt.

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Of course you can love dogs and still think they're smelly. You don't have to unconditionally love everything and not see their faults surely! 😳

Justchilling07 · 31/07/2025 02:06

NeedZzzzzssss · 30/07/2025 22:25

I can love dogs and not want one on my couch. I have never met anyone who's house doesn't smell like dog if they have a dog. I would get a dog, but I don't want my house to smell.

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You’re just contradicting yourself.You don’t love dogs, because if you did, you wouldn’t be referring to all dogs as smelly! That’s fine you don’t want a dog on your couch, dogs are intuitive, would pick up on your hostility that you can’t stand them anyway, know they’re not welcome.
As already said, if you’re going into other people’s homes and they smell, that’s just neglect.If they looked after their dog properly, there would be no odour or dirt.

ohnotthisagain2025 · 31/07/2025 01:51

BdayQ · 31/07/2025 00:17

Not to be rude, but they’re not exactly the brightest people I’ve met. They’re not academic or geniuses by any stretch, but neither are they (to use a PP reference), Jeremy Kyle guest territory. No impairments or difficulties that I’m aware of, but as I say they’re not the smartest bunch. Simple people let’s say, and take that as you will.

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Thank you for that update :) Well, I suppose they really might not get it, then. Good grief, there are some strange folk in the world.

ohnotthisagain2025 · 31/07/2025 01:48

ohnotthisagain2025 · 30/07/2025 02:28

They're entitled pigs who are deliberately gaslighting you. Time to take a wide step back from them as this will show up in other ways.

As I said originally, they are entitled pigs, this is deliberate gaslighting. It's actually a good warning tbh, they're to be avoided as much as possible.

Ohnobackagain · 31/07/2025 01:24

Just seen that you moved it back @BdayQ

Ohnobackagain · 31/07/2025 01:22

@BdayQ so given how much they already helped SIL, no reason whatsoever to ‘loan out’ your sofa to her. SIL is a cheeky cow and no mistake! Did DH retrieve sofa!?

Teora · 31/07/2025 01:01

ButteredRadish · 30/07/2025 12:39

Tell us you’re an animal hater and know nothing about animals without telling us…… 🙄

• Not all dogs are dirty (especially when well looked after)
• Many, many dog breeds do not shed fur at all
• Many, many dog breeds are hypoallergenic and can be around those who are allergic without any reaction at all
• Most sofa covers can be washed…..

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No breed of dog is truly hypoallergenic. That’s a myth unfortunately.

Signed a dog lover with dog allergic kids!!

Rolosaregoo · 31/07/2025 00:30

NeedZzzzzssss · 30/07/2025 20:32

I love dogs but wouldn't want one on my sofa, yuk! You can smell a dog as soon as you walk into the house, and if you can't, you're nose blind!

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Yup. I live in an apartment building and there are 3 dogs on my floor. During the summer months especially I can actually smell them in the hallway when I leave my apartment.

OP your ILs are gaslighting you! I think that’s the worst thing about this even moreso than their lack of consideration. I’d keep an eye on them in future, they have little respect for you both by the sounds of it.

Original poster

BdayQ · 31/07/2025 00:17

ohnotthisagain2025 · 30/07/2025 22:59

No, I can say that, based on reality and human nature. No, the OP states "in a bewildered sort of way" which sounds very much like she's a gaslighting, lying pos

Based on the fact that they are functional adults who presumably manage to get by in society and have full understanding of how to interact with others, reality dictates that they understand completely what they have done, but are choosing not to care.

Perhaps the OP could enlighten us - do they appear to have difficulties with basic human interactions and comprehension difficulties? As a person would have to be quite, quite impaired not to understand the simple reality that they promised to do one very obvious, clear and simple thing and then did quite another.

So no, based on the information given there is no reason at all to think they don't get it, and every reason to believe they are entitled liars.

But sure, I am open to the OP informing us that they do have impairments, comprehension difficulties and are otherwise challenged in very simple human interactions.

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Not to be rude, but they’re not exactly the brightest people I’ve met. They’re not academic or geniuses by any stretch, but neither are they (to use a PP reference), Jeremy Kyle guest territory. No impairments or difficulties that I’m aware of, but as I say they’re not the smartest bunch. Simple people let’s say, and take that as you will.

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Original poster

BdayQ · 31/07/2025 00:12

Blondeshavemorefun · 30/07/2025 16:01

Sil obv has a huge living room if can fit in a corner sofa - 2 seat sofa and 2 chairs Plus your own sofa

misses point of Thread 😂

but yes cheeky

so you will have 5 grubby fingers if kids on it and a slobbering dog

def get it moved

if it wouldn’t have been an issue why didn’t they say to you …….

No you’re right, it’s a huge open plan space, but it’s got ample seating already. Our sofa didn’t make the room look cramped but neither did it complement their own furniture that was already there, so there was no purpose in it being there.

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Original poster

BdayQ · 31/07/2025 00:09

Ohnobackagain · 30/07/2025 14:32

@BdayQ completely outrafeous. Is SIL a bossy cow/golden child who’s kind of bossed PIL into it when they ought to have said ‘ask your DB/SIL’?

unbelievable!

Edited

Bossy to her parents no, but golden child most definitely yes. She’s the success of the family because she’s got a big house and 5 kids. We however are waiting on a modest house and have ‘only’ 2 kids.
SIL doesn’t work because she’s been busy being a mum since the age of 21. DH did terribly at school, but has turned everything around since his early twenties to be very successful in his career… which they couldn’t care less about.
SIL was sitting pretty in her probably £1million 6 bedroom house and PILs gifted her £50k for home improvements while DH and I sat in our rented flat saving up for a deposit to buy a house. That was about 15 years ago now and I’d never have accepted a handout from them even if they’d offered, but I’ll not forget that they gave their already comfortably off DD £50k while their DS and I were scrimping for a deposit to get on the property ladder.

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Original poster

BdayQ · 30/07/2025 23:59

KarmenPQZ · 30/07/2025 14:01

I dunno I could go either way on this one. ILs were storing it for free right? And presumably it was taking up a while romme that they weren’t charging you rent for. They perhaps saw an opportunity to get their space back… you needed the sofa somewhere, SIL wanted a nicer sofa for a bit, everyone’s a winner. Chances are they wouldn’t have trashed it in a couple of months.

I can’t remember if DH asked PIL if we could store it there or if they offered, but either way, they have a big house and only use a few of the rooms on a daily basis. The room the sofa was in really is a SPARE room, as in it literally never is used, so certainly wasn’t getting in their way… if we ever considered it would be we would’ve just put in in storage as that wouldn’t have been a big deal to do, it was just that this seemed at the time to be an uncomplicated and convenient option.
SIL definitely didn’t need a sofa, she has ample seating and it’s all nice, it’s not like ours is any better. Makes no sense whatsoever.

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Justchilling07 · 30/07/2025 23:55

Screamingabdabz · 30/07/2025 22:40

Oh stop with the “hater” nonsense. Are you 15?

That sofa has had a dog’s minging arsehole sat on it and is most likely covered in greasy dog hair. It’ll stink. That’s before any damage from toddlers jumping up and down on it. I’d be fuming.

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You’re the one who sounds childish and yes an animal 'hater’.Your comment is so crude, unnecessary.
Clearly you hate dogs, that’s a you problem.
Well cared for dogs are not 'minging’.
I completely understand, people who don’t want a dog on their sofa.Just no need to get so aggressive about it.

Original poster

BdayQ · 30/07/2025 23:53

purpletablet · 30/07/2025 13:18

I’d be furious! Did they know you were going to be popping round to SILs? Were they hoping you wouldn’t notice or just that you’d be too scared to say anything? Cheeky fuckers.

Yes they knew we were going and didn’t seem to give a shit about us seeing it there in full use. No explanation, no attempt to keep us out of the room or to cover it, nothing. Maybe they were hoping we wouldn’t say anything.

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Original poster

BdayQ · 30/07/2025 23:51

It makes no sense for them to have it as they have plenty of seating already. I still can’t fathom why it was there. They didn’t need it so as far as I can tell, there’s literally zero reason why it was there. And they’ve not offered any explanation as to why it was, just “take it back [to PILs] if it’s a problem” and shrug and scoff like we’re unreasonable.
Anyway it’s back in PIL spare bedroom now. DH suggested they use their carpet cleaner on it after having the dog on it and PIL said she’ll scrub it down with some Vanish… I asked them not to bother as I hate to imagine what it could look like after they’ve been let loose on it.
We’re leaving tomorrow morning as I’ve had enough of them and there’s no benefit to us spending anymore time here, it’s awkward and not enjoyable so we’ll go back home.
Thanks to all the posters who have clarified that they are unhinged!

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eyeses · 30/07/2025 23:24

They need to keep the sofa and buy you an identical new one. It won't arrive for 3-4 months anyway, so will solve the storage issue.
On the plus side, you have learned an important lesson about who your inlaws are.