He took the condom off

I really hope in the noise of people irrelevantly telling you what to do that you've seen the post about prep

www.nhs.uk/conditions/hiv-and-aids/

I can’t stress enough how important this is to report, for the reason outlined here. Also, you don’t know his history and he may already be known to them.

Re it being an accident . When this has happened to me by accident the guy is usually mortified and stops as soon as he notices and believe me they notice.

i hope you are ok @CallieMcNalleee . Take care of yourself x

EVERYBODY READ THE OP'S UPDATES PLEASE!

She has clearly stated she has a coil and doesn't need the MAP.

She has clearly said she doesn't want to be harassed to report to the police.

Yes, her initial post did say she doesn't know what to do, but at least read her updates and respect her wishes.

Hope you're ok this morning OP. My only advice is to sort out an STI test when you're ready and to have no more to do with this man. He obviously cannot be trusted.

Just to say STIs (particularly HIV) can take a long time to show up on an STI test so there’s no point doing this immediately.

It’s completely your decision but I wouldn’t personally report in this situation. The chances of him even getting charged are minimal just because it is extremely difficult to prove his intent here.

I really wish people would read all of the OPs posts before commenting. It’s easy to do by filtering the posts.

Hope you’re ok this morning OP

You can read all the OP's posts in one before commenting. It's often a good idea when it's a sensitive subject.

MAP.STI check. If you can bear to, report.

Absolutely not defending him but me and my partner have used condoms 3 times recently for the first time in 10 years as I’m having a break from contraception and the condom came off the first time and neither of us noticed till he went to take it off at the end.

Are you 100% sure he took it off and it didn’t just slide off? Are you 100% sure what you thought was him lying wasn’t embarrassment. I had it before with someone where it did fall off and he didn’t take it off it really was an accident. I’m not saying your guy did or didn’t but you need to be 100% sure it wasn’t an accident before making accusations

She said she has a coil. It would be sensitive to read all the OP's posts in a thread like this, there aren't many and it doesn't take long

You can't anonymously report a crime against yourself.

Have a think about what to do but in the meantime organise the morning after pill (I think pharmacists do it over the counter now) and an STD test.

I'm sorry. You'd both agreed to use a condom. This wasnt your fault. X

Whatever you do about evidence collecting etc - please go to a GUM clinic and get PREP today which will protect you from potential HIV infection.

Make sure you go and get the morning after pill. If in the UK you can go to a pharmacy, as well as a sexual health clinic or your GP. On top of all your stress, you don’t want an unexpected pregnancy.

Would not recommend in a month of Sundays the OP doing this. As someone who has been raped, and gone through all the trauma of going to a SARC, having had a ton of swabs taken etc and nothing come of it, there literally is no point.

I'm sorry if that sounds blunt but the reality of this even going to the CPS is virtually non existent. Just being honest as someone who has been through the process and had a medical done. Even the forensic nurse wrote on my notes ' cannot confirm or deny a rape' You need a lot of evidence for a charge.

Tbh the swearing is justified. On a thread about sexual assault posters need to rtft and respect the op’s wishes.

I would advocate a woman who’s been assaulted doing what feels right for her and what she feels able to cope with.

It’s depressing that this thread is putting pressure on the op to report the assault to the police. She knows her options and it’s her choice.

If she reports him there will be a record of it. There may even be one now if he’s done it before. So more of a picture building up and more likelihood that action can be taken against him. Would you advocate a woman not reporting rape ? Because that’s what his actions are classed as. It’s a violation.

That's awful Op. Take all the time you need to make decisions about what (if anything) you want to next. Put yourself first.

To reduce stress you can always anonymously report online to your local police. It will only take a few mins and it will flag him up for if (and let’s face it, when) someone in the future reports him. You’d still be helping other women then without putting yourself through lots of stress

Whatever you decide to do . Do what is right for you .
The most important thing is to get some support for you .

hope you manage to get some sleep

If you do.decide to report him don't shower first

I'm so sorry this happened to you, take care of yourself

Get the morning after pill from a pharmacy would be a smart move and then gets checked for an STI. Finally, don’t have sex with that lowlife again!

Hi Op.

This is terrible. Is there anyone in real life you can talk to, even the samaritans in this situation will just listen rather than people projecting their own stuff on to you.

Whether or not you go to the police is up to you, but please go to the clinic or even the rape crisis centre. They will have better resources than Mumsnet'.

Stay safe.