For getting married in the same month as my best friend?

How long is it between the weddings? I wonder if she feels her honeymoon will feel cut short as she'll be going to your wedding straight after it.
It does seem odd after being friends for so long she wouldn't tell you why she has an issue with this. Surely she has known for a while when you were getting married.

Totally this. It is odd that such a close friend wasn't a consideration at all. They've been best friends since age 5, so I feel on par with a sibling. I wonder if people would have a different view if it was a sibling instead.

Read the OP.

She explained that she’s upset we’ve planned it in the same month and said if it had to have been that month (which it did because of school holidays, other family commitments and financial benefits) then I should have asked her.

@RampantIvy so much this! We have busy lives and lots of travel for work and seeing family. How do we even cope…
if planning a huge wedding is stressful don’t do it. We had small children and I was in the middle of a PhD when we got married. A couple of people were a bit dickish which was stressful but not the actual logistics!

Suggest that if it’s all too much for her she doesn’t have to come ?
YANBU, my daughter was bridesmaid to her friend 4 days before her own wedding (which she booked first ) She also organised the hen a week after her own . It wasn’t an issue at all, it’s what friends do & she was happy to be involved !

Sorry 'bask in the specialness of having got married'. Honestly most people don't care once the wedding day has been and gone, they are special on the wedding day, as they should be. Beyond that is just way too much.

Weddings/hen do's and baby showers etc are now way over the top quite often and people are quite often not wanting to go along with the silliness, that doesn't;t mean they are sexist, sorry but I have to disagree with you on that.

Also, and I know you are all going to flame me for this, she might want to bask in the specialness of having got married. Some people are like that. There are so few times in our lives when we get to be treated as unique and special. You could just let her have that. Also, what kind of friend invites strangers to call her good friend bridezilla etc?

To my mind bridezilla is just another sexist term with which to mock women under duress.

If I was planning a big wedding this would be too much for me given that we all also have work and family commitments/stresses to deal with.

What was the problem with just choosing another month? There is no way that I would knowingly book the same month as my friend to get married- unless we both wanted that. Especially knowing that she had all the stress of a big wedding. It just seems so weird and unnecessary to me.

If you were having a big occasion, hen do etc then I think I would understand her point of view more assuming you have the same friendship groups etc - costs for friends etc. but given you're essentially eloping, covering the costs for everyone involved it is hard to understand. I'd probably reach out to her and say you never meant to offend her, it's the only month you could do and given it's low key didn't even think to mention it to her before hand?

Tell her to grow up

Who was the one who picked their wedding date first?

Be prepared for her to accept you paying for her family, her having a sulk during your wedding and then dropping you like a stone after.

She is a drama queen

I like to plan my events and wax timelines! 🤣 too soon to wax again for the 2nd wedding! 🤣 Honestly, there are 52 weeks in the year, why not just space them out.

Too soon to wax again, the weddings are too close.
just me?

is it because it impacts her having a honeymoon?

@Spotthering of course there’s nothing wrong with that! But to go on about a bubble weeks later when it should be all about you and someone else celebrating somehow detracts from your delight at getting married, there is something wrong. I had a blast at my own wedding but realise family and friends had a great time but don’t need to think about it for weeks after.

I mean I had a wedding with only 13 guests but it didn’t make it any less of a special occasion for me and I would have expected my closest friends to make me feel special, as they did.

People are allowed to feel special when they get married. There’s nothing wrong with that.

One of my best friends and I got married five weeks apart. It was fun planning it together etc, the only bit we both felt a bit bad about was the cost of a hen do and two weddings back to back for our couple of mutual friends. No one owns a month she sounds unhinged. I always wonder if these people who make such a drama out of their weddings are old enough/mature enough to be getting married at all. My DHs ex was a huge bridezilla and he wasn’t much better, huge family arguments about money and contributions and who was staying where etc then a baby almost immediately. Their marriage lasted not quite two years and on reflection they both admit to getting sucked into the wedding itself and ignoring the fact that they were incompatible and immature. Both happily remarried now.

She made you tell people people? Like you weren't intending to before? Just dropping it in afterwards? Sounds like she is in it for the drama

Anyway, breezy text saying your sorry for being selfish of course she will be far too busy after her wedding to attend yours and you completely understand she can no longer attend then go back to your original plan of keeping quiet and just having family involved do not discuss any arrangements with people outside the group who are actually going the friends will be hard pressed to get traction on drama if you refuse to engage

You’re absolutely right she can do what she likes, she doesn’t have to consider anyone else.
And if she doesn’t want to consider her best friend for “all her life since they were 5” then she shouldn’t. And she shouldn’t then get upset if her friend put off by it.

She is being ridiculous, trouble is, this is how weddings are going these days, everything has to be big, ridiculously expensive. I read the average wedding is £20k. It's one day in your life. When I got married to me first h,I expected to wake up and feel completely different. Yes,we did actually elope. If you look in the dictionary now,it says a small intimate wedding focusing on the bride and groom..I had 20 at my second wedding. I thought that was huge (tiny register office) people complaining about the day, the time,mil about no kids. I wish to God we had gone to gretna green, which was booked and paid for.

When my husband and I got married and set our wedding date his brother and now wife weren't even engaged but within a few weeks they were engaged and then set their wedding date which was 3 weeks before ours, and they didn't ask if we were ok with it. I couldn't have cared less, I was just looking forward to our wedding day.
If you're that concerned about your friendship I would ask her what does she want/expect you to do - her response will tell you if she's bothered about maintaining the friendship. What I wouldn't want is for her to say she's accepted it and to then always feel like I need to tip toe around her or be apologetic for everything - the friendship is then unbalanced and I don't think it would be worth saving.

Ignore Her OP, a wedding is one day and yours is after hers so it’s not even like it interrupts her preparations. Just 1st world problems in my book she needs to get over it. You can’t own a month and dictate what everyone else does with their own lives, it’s ridiculous. If she was a good friend she’d be just as happy for you as she is for herself x

It’s a drama about nothing but I’d be tempted to move the date, since she’s a very old and important friend. People don’t need to win every debate.

I must live on a different planet ,the year I got married there were about 4 other weddings amongst our group of friends.All Summer Weddings and I genuinely cannot remember any fuss whatsoever!
OP I have had a similar problem with a very close friend ,not Wedding related ,but same emotions and I have had to sadly accept that our friendship will never be the same again.
I sent friend a heartfelt apology for being thoughtless over something I had forgotten explaining that events in my own immediate family over that few days had absolutely flawed me. A very scary few days for us all. She was aware of the ‘event’.
Now I would forever be worrying that I have unintentionally upset friend and would never feel relaxed in her company.
Am truly heartbroken .
People can be so complicated .
I hope you and your friend can sort things out and you both enjoy your weddings. X