Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think you wait for everyone to finish dinner before you go and get a dessert?

52 replies

Treadly · 29/07/2025 18:35

I grew up in England, parents a bit strict and very big on table manners. I was taught that you wait for everyone to finish eating before you leave the table. If you want to go sooner, you ask to be excused. You wait for everyone to finish eating their dinner before even thinking of your own dessert.

DH grew up in continental Europe. His family ran a restaurant and his parents were always working so they rarely ate together. He doesn’t think it’s a big deal for our DC to get a yoghurt from the fridge while another member of the family is still eating dinner. He says my upbringing sounds overly strict, like boarding school, and he doesn’t want the same for our DC. I think my parents insisted on basic table manners, and I want to teach them to DC.

Who IBU?

OP posts:
TheCurious0range · 29/07/2025 18:41

Same as above, DS has to ask to leave the table and if it's just a normal meal, not a long one with adults chatting after eating, he stays at the table. I would be fine if he'd eaten his meal and wanted a yoghurt. Most adults won't be having a yoghurt after dinner anyway and you're all still sitting together eating

ButterCrackers · 29/07/2025 18:38

Formal dinners - family occasions, other people’s houses, restaurant - with a set planned meal I’d say to wait. Family informal meals I don’t find it a problem to be eating a dessert when others are on their main course because not everyone will have a yogurt etc.