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AIBU?

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Original poster

Please help me work out if DH or I was wrong here?

31 replies

lifeandlovee · 29/07/2025 18:31

I’m off work this week with DC1 who’s on summer hols. He’s been a PITA all day so I’m not in the best mood.

Anyway, DH gets home from work, dinner is put straight on the table for him and I tidied up after. DC2 leads daddy to the oldest one’s bedroom and asks for the baby-ish play tills which are too high to reach, so he gets them both down and comes back to the kitchen. The next thing DC1 snatches one and DC2 kicks off screaming and crying inconsolably. DH then goes in the room and says “one each” after having given both to DC2 seconds before. By this point DC2 is totally having a meltdown, so I tell DC1 off and said “you’ve had all day to play with them if you wanted to but you suddenly only want them because DC2 has them” (I know this is the story of everyone’s life with 2 young kids)
DC1 seems to understand this and says “okay then” giving the till back wanting DC2 to stop screaming.
Then DH says “no one each” completely undermining what I’ve said.

We have now had a row about this and both of us think we’re right but he thinks DC2 should learn to share (age 2, just) whereas I think DC1 (age 5.5) needs to know not to snatch and not just want something because DC2 suddenly has it. WIU here!?

OP posts:
CopperWhite · 29/07/2025 18:37

You were right about dc1 only wanting the ball because dc2 had them, but you undermined your DH first so you can’t complain that he undermined you. Undermining the other parent in front of the children never ends well.

CaptainFuture · 29/07/2025 18:35

So you honestly think 'one each' isn't right and a toddler tantrum wins?

CommissarySushi · 29/07/2025 18:34

It sounds like you undermined your husband first though?

I would've stuck to what your dh said first, and if it was really an issue, discuss it later with him when the kids weren't around.

SleepyRedPanda · 29/07/2025 18:34

If I’m reading this correctly, you were the one who undermined your DH in the first place when he originally said “one each”. He was the one parenting at that point and I think you should have left him to do so in the way he wanted.

However, parenting in the summer holidays is often no fun and it sounds like you’ve had a stressful day. Hopefully tomorrow will be easier.

Derbee · 29/07/2025 18:33

YABU.

You sound like you were unnecessarily unkind to a 5 year old. Of course toys are more appealing when others are playing with them - they’re small children. Nobody needs 2 tills, even an angry two year old.

Your husband was correct, in my opinion.

ChandrilanDiscoDroid · 29/07/2025 18:33

I think it's a storm in a teacup, you're both tired and frazzled, and you should discuss not contravening or undermining each other in front of the kids another time when you're both a bit more calm and resourceful.

Let it go for now. It's not worth another dingdong.