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Original poster

Cliquey colleagues

31 replies

Difficultppl · 29/07/2025 17:52

Two colleagues at work have formed a bit of a clique. I started a few months ago and they weren’t close before. We’re a small team of 6 and I’m the only other person their age so it feels a little deliberate.

Examples include going for lunch without inviting others, only talking to each other and not to me (I do make conversation but have given up now!), one let the door slam in my face the other day when I was right behind her - only got a sorry when I uttered a brusque thanks. If they’re announcing something work related to two of us, they’ll both only look at each other - it feels quite insidious and I feel left out.

how can I not let it get to me? There’s only so many times you can say how are you and ask about someone’s weekend without it being reciprocated. Today I mentioned something about a current affairs topic and one colleague just didn’t even reply - just left me hanging.

OP posts:
SleepyRedPanda · 29/07/2025 18:09

I’m not sure two people are really a clique; surely they are just good friends who keep to themselves.

Whilst I appreciate it gets to you, I do agree that ignoring them and reminding yourself they aren’t the kind of people you want to be friends with anyone is the best action to take.

Ultimately is there another department that you can transfer to? Being unhappy in work is awful and getting away from it can make such a difference.

UnderCoverB0ss · 29/07/2025 18:06

Why are you bothered about befriending a couple of horrible people? All you need to do is go to work, do your job and go home. That said letting doors shut in your face and consciously ignoring you is out of order. I’d keep a diary of events just to cover myself in case it escalates.

Original poster
Difficultppl · 29/07/2025 18:02

I get it and I’m lucky where in the rest of my life I have never had to or tried force myself onto others. But I’m a cheerful and friendly person and I do struggle with not making any effort or conversation all day. It really brings me down

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HotTiredDog · 29/07/2025 17:58

Oh ignore them - I know it’s not easy, honestly I do - but as a PP said, do your job & don’t fall to their level. Sod ‘em!!

something2say · 29/07/2025 17:56

Forget it. You are not there to socialize. They are rude but so what? Do your job. Dont let the poor standards of others drag you down. It won't be the last time this happens so learn to deal with it.

On a general level, never force yourself on people who are showing clear signs of not wanting you. Do your work and leave them to their lives.

X

Original poster
Difficultppl · 29/07/2025 17:52

I know it doesn’t sound much but all the examples add up and are starting to get to me.

we work in healthcare and are constantly in and together for all our shifts (office-based) and it feels very lonely!

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