Daughter doesn’t want me to take job offer

If you listen to her then she'll think she'll have power and authority over you for the rest of her life. She'll also displaying controlling and coercive behaviour which isn't a great trait for her future.

Who pays for her gymnastics? Do you need to earn money to allow her to go?

I feel that the biggest issue is your strained relationship.
Youre going to struggle with telling her hard truths, finances, no choice etc… if she feels like she needs an escape from home.

Whats going on there?

Job aside- whats causing the strained relationship? Because while I agree that you should take the job, if neither of you address any of the other issues then yes your relationship is likely to deteriorate further if she's had this much of an extreme reaction

You are not the selfish one here. Please don’t let her dictate your life. My mum let my sister rule her at a similar age and the fallout ever since has been horrendous on the whole family.

I'd explain to her that the reality of the financials if anyone in your house wants nice stuff is that either you get a weekend job or she does or the nice stuff stops.

Provided you genuinely can avoid her at the club, you should take the job. Her teenager fear at having her mum impose on the place where she is herself away from home is understandable, but it won’t take her long to realise that you won’t get in her way.

As a former gymnast with a parent as a coach on the same club, honestly I barely saw my dad. He coached a different ability group as it sounds you will too, and he never interfered with my coaching or training (ok he would give me shit about conditioning as I hated it 😂 but so did my mam).

I do understand your parents are the most uncool people on the planet but ultimately if you need the job, unfortunately she has little say. Emphasise with her, explaining you won't have time to be involved with her as you're there to work with the beginners not her group, ask if she has any specifics she hates (funnily enough my dad had this awful fleece he would wear everywhere I hated and was embarrassed about and I asked him not to wear it in the gym 😂 of course he wore it more being the little prick he is lol) and make a pact not to do x, y, z ect.

Are there boys at her group OP? If so do you think she might have a ‘thing’ going with one of them and doesn’t want you to know or ‘interfere’? It’s the only reason I could imagine her having this reaction. You need to remind her gently that you will be taking the job and she will have to get used to it.

Wow when I was a teenager my mum took a job as a dinner lady at my school. My friends and I took care of her as she was terrified at first! I couldn’t imagine telling her not to take the job.

You don't need permission from your teenage child to work a job.

Tell her to like it or lump it but it's happening. And tell her she's too old to be acting like a petulant toddler whilst you're at it.

Very Kevin the Teenager. Congratulations on the job offer.

What about a months trial to show her that it won't impact her as much as she thinks. Totally ignore her when you're there. Hopefully she'll see it's not so bad.

I'd have some empathy though, no teenager wants their parents hanging around their hobbies.

So you have put your career on hold and been out of the game for years - BECAUSE OF HER by your own admission. And now she is older she is trying to block you doing what you are trained to do?

I get she doesn't want you coaching her. She wants you as mum and not coach and she doesn't want to feel like you re watching her or to feel different. That is fine and understandable. But as you say, you will be with the less able gymnasts and just at weekends so that surely shouldn't be an issue.

Perhaps it's time for 'ok DD, we can't afford for you to continue gymnastics. That's fine, I'll de-register you for next season'.

That's really bratty and selfish behaviour. She has no care and concern for her mother. Surely she has seen you be miserable in your current job? You certainly should take the job because that will give you joy. Your daughter may not be at the club all her life but this is your chance to re-start your career. It's also an opportunity to have a mature conversation with her about seeing and valuing you as a woman and being considerate about your happiness too.

My mum got a job at my primary specifically so she could be 'in the know' with what was going on with my education. It mortified me daily. This is so different, she sounds bratty

Ignore her, I'm sure you won't be teaching her directly. Your finances trump her wants! Well done, hope you enjoy your new weekend job!

Well, I must admit I don't suppose many teenagers would jump for joy at their mum in situ when they socialise. But needs must. I assume you pay for her gynastics and everything else for that matter. Tell her she'll have to give up her hobby if she forbids you from taking the job. She can't have it both ways.

You can absolutely empathise with her about how she might feel. However explaining to her what this job will fund might also be valuable. She wants to go out more or have spends then you need to take it. Or those gymnastics lessons she wants would have to stop if you didn't take it etc. You get my drift.

THIS
YOU are in charge OP, not your daughter.

Tell her you are taking it.Tell her you will do all you can to keep out of her way. Take the job, but never speak to her about it.

Yes with the swinging arms and all 😂

Op, she will one day look back and apologise, go for the job, live your life and let her get over herself in due teenage course.

Honestly? I’d tell her to stop being such a brat and I’d take the job. What makes her think you want to hang out with her while you’re at work? As I jokingly not really a joke though tell my kids, the one thing I like about my job is I get a break from them.

I might explain that if I didn't take the job I would no longer be able to afford to pay for her gymnastics/phone etc .....

Why is your relationship strained?