To be depressed about my financial situation compared to my neighbors

OP, I understand. It was brave of you to admit this. It's healthy that you can acknowledge the grief and disappointment, even maybe the anger about the differences in circumstances between you and your neighbours. However, I invite you to channel these feelings in positive ways. You can't change the past or just wish things were different. What steps can you take NOW to improve your situation? You and your spouse need to brainstorm and write down realistic, achievable goals. List specific action steps (start small) to work toward them. Check frequently to make sure you are on track. If you can, seek advice from a professional financial advisor or your bank. Do your research. You may not end up with what your neighbours have, but you won't stay stuck and you'll end up better off than you are now. Best of luck to you.

You are being ridiculous. How would you feel about people being ‘disgusted’ by you because you have a £140k income and own your own home when they don’t? Your neighbours are just playing the cards life dealt them, as we all do. Good for them. Be grateful you have a comfortable income - you’re already better off than many people. Get over yourself and try to be grateful for what you have rather than being a whining brat.

Hahahaha she never did this!! Honestly?!? Omg I missed this update.

OP please have a word with yourself. Are you bored? Go for a walk or read a book. Put Netflix on. How do you have the time or inclination to actually do this?

I doubt it. Those type of people don’t.

What they have is nothing to do with you. It’s none of your business. Focus in on yourself and family because this is what matters. You have jobs and a house and warmth and food as well. Count your blessings. Reach out and volunteer to help people who don’t have what you have. You could work in a hot meal kitchen for example.

Can't believe you searched your neighbours on Companies House.

Might have to search myself and DH now....

Get over yourself and work extra then.

I wasn't sure how to reply to this, it took me by suprise. You have a healthy wage coming in, between me and my partner we don't earn that much and I've been to university for 4 years for career development.... you are indeed in a fortunate position. There are people who have highly trained jobs who are struggling to make ends meet or working multiple jobs to even feed their family..... why not compare yourself to these people not your neighbours who are double your age with a wealth of life experience and careers.

I wouldn't want to be a landlord because I wouldn't want the responsibility of providing a house for someone. It would be too stressful if their boiler broke for example and they didn't have any hot water.

Why would that be particularly stressful? You can employ lettings companies to deal with this sort of thing if you don't want to do it yourself. If I had an income of £140k, I would be investing it in property and the stock market. Your neighbour got rich by speculating and investing, if they'd just put their savings into ISAs, there's no way they would have anything like the level of wealth they have now.

There are other places to live.

I am 39 years old. I earn £28k . I have 2 children. One of those is autistic and will always be dependant on me. I rent and my rent is extortionate. I am in a lot of debt , I will likely never really be out of it . I highly doubt I’ll ever be in a position to buy . I am working as hard as I can in a career I have not long qualified in , in the hope I can put something by for my children . But you know what ? I am not jealous of you . I am not bitter about anyone having more than me - because I have 2 beautiful , healthy children. I always have food in my cupboards , whether it’s through scrimping , looking for bargains or klarna - I always manage to give my children things they need. I love my job and I am making a difference . I have a roof over my head , I have warmth and shelter.

Maybe you actually need to look at what you do have rather than what you don’t.

I kind of feel sad for you that you are so unsatisfied in a life that would be a privilege for so many ( financially anyway ) that you have to feel bitter about someone 20 years older than you reaping the rewards of what they have built.

How is that her fault? She doesn't deserve your disgust, and you seriously need to get several grips and realise how utterly unreasonable you're being.

Whinging when you're 140k a year. Cop on!

Yanbu to be disgusted with yourself.

Another post proving money can't buy happiness or contentment. We earn about half of your salary and I can genuinely say I'm not jealous of friends or neighbours that earn more.

This is a moot point as you have said that being a landlord isn't for you. You wouldn't have chosen to be a landlord then. Yes, she has been lucky that stock markets and home prices have been on an upward trend.

I don't know why you didn't believe her when she said they had a property portfolio, lots of people have used that strategy of leveraging their assets. It is risky but has worked for them.

If you’re in your 30s you have a lot of years ahead of you to build a property portfolio of your own. It’s not impossible starting from your sort of income, a lot harder starting from nothing as they may have done, but you have to be prepared to sacrifice and work hard. Being jealous of someone with twenty odd years more graft and experience behind them is a bit pathetic.

This

Yanbu to be depressed that things you have no control of affect your life, whether it be something like when you with were born, where you were born, skin colour, where your great grandparents were born, whether you're make or female, your height, the list goes on and on, it hits almost everyone in some way (even royalty, look at the whole Harry debacle)
Yes maybe it would be good to swap lives with someone else but honestly just live your best life.

What? They had control over….when they were born?

why not just appreciate the things you do have in life. You could have been born in Gaza. You sound…unpleasant.

£140k doesn’t go far in London for a young family.

People were have a lot of money never have enough, people who have little money never have enough, but for very different reasons.

OP, check out the FIRE threads for practical advice on how to make your situation as financially beneficial as possible. Lots of good advice there. Maximise income, minimise costs, diversify investments, start early to maximise compounding over years. Start small, biggest gains come toward end. Don't be jealous of others or spend to keep up appearances. Instead focus on making sound, long term financial decisions that are best for you and your priorities. And by all means, look to others for inspiration of how they've achieved what you aim for. Nothing wrong with that, just find a way to not be jealous, but focus on facts and identify what from their situation you can learn and apply yourself. Good luck 🙂

Anyone on £140k can set themselves and their children up for life, especially at your age. A sensible budget, substantial investing and let compound interest do its thing. You could be in a better position than them by their age.

I don’t get why you think you’re in such a different boat?

And to add to this: you are more wealthy than most of us so think you need to have a long think about your values. Enjoy your brunches with friends and long hot baths as these things are a luxury for some people. Actually all people going back 100 years. Appreciation is key. Appreciate what you have. It could disappear in the blink of an eye.

This has to be AI. Surely some families with money lack other things that will make your children happy. Such as love and special memories with their parents. The money will be pointless when they all depart this earth, so maybe don’t place so much value on it. Teach your kids how to be altruistic and kind to their neighbours. It’s the greatest gift you could give them.