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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be depressed about my financial situation compared to my neighbors

332 replies

greenwithenvy2 · 29/07/2025 16:43

My neighbor is about 59 years old and her husband is 63. She works for the local council as a HR coordinator and her husband, who is now retired, was a finance clerk for the local council.

They have a property portfolio worth around £2.4m (£1m mortgages) so approx £1.4m in property assets. They started their business in the early 90s, when they purchased their first property. They moved home, renting out their original house and repeated this again. With the increase in house prices they were able to remortgage their BTL and buy more property.

We are in our late 30s and are in a very privileged position - we earn a decent wage between us (£140k) and are able investment into our ISA each month but we will never able to have £1.4m in property investment.

I felt so bitter listening to her. They were able to provide gifts for their children to buy their houses and they have now set up companies so their children will inherit their wealth.

I get we are fortunate, but we'll never be able to do this for our children. They achieved this on fairly middling wages as well. I know there are a few other neighbors on our street who've managed this feat and now their kids are sitting pretty.

I felt disgusted at her and at myself for feeling this way.

OP posts:
ReluctantBikini · 29/07/2025 16:51

Your priorities are completely wrong here OP.

Health and happiness are far more important than wealth.

Seems like you have the wealth but not the happiness.

user9064385631 · 29/07/2025 16:50

How on earth do you know such detailed financial information about a neighbour? Are you intercepting their post!?
keep your eyes on your own work Op - comparison really is the thief of joy!

flipent · 29/07/2025 16:49

CozyCoupe · 29/07/2025 16:48

Good grief.
Recognise your privilege and grow up.

This! ^^

THisbackwithavengeance · 29/07/2025 16:48

Are you jealous of Bill Gates? Or Elton John? Or anyone that has money or is it just your neighbour. I’m jealous of you for earning such a big salary, does that make you feel better? I’m your neighbours age too and I certainly don’t have a property portfolio. You are being silly and need to get a grip.

CozyCoupe · 29/07/2025 16:48

Good grief.
Recognise your privilege and grow up.

Boomer55 · 29/07/2025 16:47

greenwithenvy2 · 29/07/2025 16:43

My neighbor is about 59 years old and her husband is 63. She works for the local council as a HR coordinator and her husband, who is now retired, was a finance clerk for the local council.

They have a property portfolio worth around £2.4m (£1m mortgages) so approx £1.4m in property assets. They started their business in the early 90s, when they purchased their first property. They moved home, renting out their original house and repeated this again. With the increase in house prices they were able to remortgage their BTL and buy more property.

We are in our late 30s and are in a very privileged position - we earn a decent wage between us (£140k) and are able investment into our ISA each month but we will never able to have £1.4m in property investment.

I felt so bitter listening to her. They were able to provide gifts for their children to buy their houses and they have now set up companies so their children will inherit their wealth.

I get we are fortunate, but we'll never be able to do this for our children. They achieved this on fairly middling wages as well. I know there are a few other neighbors on our street who've managed this feat and now their kids are sitting pretty.

I felt disgusted at her and at myself for feeling this way.

You have a very decent income and are 20 years younger than this couple. Enjoy your life and stop comparing. 🙄

Plenty of people would like to be in your position.

Londongent · 29/07/2025 16:45

Comparison is the thief of joy