Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you think to this? Is it selfish?

111 replies

Curlytwirly1 · 29/07/2025 16:22

If you knew that a single parent took a DC with active chicken pox to a shop? If they couldn’t get a delivery slot, and had no one to drop food off but fridge/cupboards empty.

OP posts:
Topsy44 · 29/07/2025 17:02

I wouldn’t judge as (a) I am a lone parent and I know how tough life is sometimes and (b) I think the most contagious time is before the spots come out.

TheChosenTwo · 29/07/2025 17:02

In your situation I’d drive to a nearby local shop and just run in for essentials leaving kids in the car.
I don’t think I’d say it was selfish to take the dc in if you literally have no other choice but if there’s a way around it you should be taking it for the benefit of others. But for you, feeding your children is the top of your priorities, that and getting medication.

menopausalfart · 29/07/2025 16:58

If I was desperate, I'd ask on my local Facebook page if anyone could help. Surprising how lovely some people can be.

Drivingthevengabus · 29/07/2025 16:57

I would go to a large garage and park up and dash in for essentials until I could get a food delivery. Or I would do a click and collect order at a supermarket as you can usually get those more easily than delivery slots (appreciate this assumes that you can drive).

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 29/07/2025 16:56

Curlytwirly1 · 29/07/2025 16:49

Well do have stuff in, but not much that DC will eat. And was going to do a big shop today anyway but obviously has come out in the chicken pox. And also need medication

Can you not ask a neighbour? Put a plea out on Facebook? Text a parent you know from school? What about a dog walker or something who might be willing to help out.

BernardButlersBra · 29/07/2025 16:55

Very selfish.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 29/07/2025 16:55

rubyslippers · 29/07/2025 16:39

You pay extra on this one occasion for the convenience
taking a highly contagious child out is not on
knock on a neighbours
Text a school mum
ask a local cabbie firm to help out - some do small jobs like this

Show quote history

I didn't say I would take a highly contagious child out - was just responding to all the comments about how easy it is to get same day delivery. Up until six months ago, it wouldn't have been possible in our area unless you had a friend or relative who could help.

Cutleryclaire · 29/07/2025 16:53

For balance - I reckon loads of people just carry on as usual with a child with chickenpox if they’re not unwell.

Covid is also dangerous to vulnerable groups but advice is to carry on as usual.

Bluetoothpaste · 29/07/2025 16:51

Curlytwirly1 · 29/07/2025 16:44

Single parent, and only have parents in the area but they are away. And rural area

Show quote history

You don’t know any other parents from your child’s school?

I think there are very few people who wouldnt respond to e.g a Class WhatsApp appeal for assistance in those circumstances.

You don’t know your neighbours at all?

Or a friend of your parents?

Danikm151 · 29/07/2025 16:50

Those suggesting delivery- it’s often ridiculously expensive. A single parent often has a strict budget.

not everyone drives either.

It’s a hard situation

Ademasstudio · 29/07/2025 16:50

So this single parent, with no support network who lives rurally and can’t get a delivery slot with any supermarket despite it not being Christmas / Covid etc…. Doesn’t have a tin of beans / soup / slice of slightly stale bread to put in toaster, bag of pasta and some oil? Literally… nothing

Original poster
Curlytwirly1 · 29/07/2025 16:49

Well do have stuff in, but not much that DC will eat. And was going to do a big shop today anyway but obviously has come out in the chicken pox. And also need medication

OP posts:
caringcarer · 29/07/2025 16:48

It's irresponsible to run food down to absolutely nothing in the house to eat at all. Surely everyone has a freezer in this day and age and keep tinned food in.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 29/07/2025 16:45

rubyslippers · 29/07/2025 16:27

Amazon fresh and a million other options on uber means you can get anything delivered
you may pay more for the convenience but totally possible
no need to go to a shop at all

Depends where you live, not everywhere is able to have stuff delivered.

Benefitbettyquestion · 29/07/2025 16:44

I don't think I have anything like deliveroo, whoosh or Amazon same day where I live. I'd be able to take a child in car to local shop though and dash in. Do you drive?

Original poster
Curlytwirly1 · 29/07/2025 16:44

Reallybadidea · 29/07/2025 16:33

I wouldn't be able to get same day delivery in my area, none of deliveroo etc operate in my area. It's very unusual not to have anyone who can drop a few basics off.

Single parent, and only have parents in the area but they are away. And rural area

OP posts:
Ruggerlass · 29/07/2025 16:43

4naans · 29/07/2025 16:23

Uber and deliveroo do food shop delivery.
Amazon do Morrisons food shop delivery.
I'd be very surprised if ALL the supermarkets had zero slots. Tesco do whoosh which is same day.

There speaks a townie. Not everyone lives in a city or town and has access to these deliveries. Perhaps OP is like me and lives quite rural where those type of deliveries are not available.

AffIt · 29/07/2025 16:39

I live in the arsehole of nowhere and can almost always get a delivery slot from Asda / Tesco / Coop. Might be later than I'd like, but it's mostly doable.

More to the point, though, who lets their cupboards run to nothing with a small child in the house? Surely you'd at least have beans or freezer food?

rubyslippers · 29/07/2025 16:39

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 29/07/2025 16:35

Not possible in all areas - we only got same-day delivery here about six months ago, and it's only offered by one store (and is very expensive).

Show quote history

You pay extra on this one occasion for the convenience
taking a highly contagious child out is not on
knock on a neighbours
Text a school mum
ask a local cabbie firm to help out - some do small jobs like this

Bluetoothpaste · 29/07/2025 16:38

If the parent genuinely has no friends or even a school gate acquaintance that can drop off food then I would suggest that they make building a network asap a priority for when the child is better.

Are there no supermarkets nearby who do a click and collect service?

Ademasstudio · 29/07/2025 16:35

Reallybadidea · 29/07/2025 16:33

I wouldn't be able to get same day delivery in my area, none of deliveroo etc operate in my area. It's very unusual not to have anyone who can drop a few basics off.

But it wouldn’t need to be same day
with an ounce of sense the day before you completely ran out of everything… you would book a slot for, oh I don’t know - Asda, Sainsbury’s, Tesco, Ocado. I could go on

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 29/07/2025 16:35

rubyslippers · 29/07/2025 16:27

Amazon fresh and a million other options on uber means you can get anything delivered
you may pay more for the convenience but totally possible
no need to go to a shop at all

Not possible in all areas - we only got same-day delivery here about six months ago, and it's only offered by one store (and is very expensive).

Reallybadidea · 29/07/2025 16:33

I wouldn't be able to get same day delivery in my area, none of deliveroo etc operate in my area. It's very unusual not to have anyone who can drop a few basics off.

Ademasstudio · 29/07/2025 16:32

Curlytwirly1 · 29/07/2025 16:26

age 5

Get a delivery slot
no excuse given there’s loads

stichguru · 29/07/2025 16:32

Chicken pox can be serious for people and is unpleasant for anyone. You'd have to be a special kind of mean and selfish to take a child with chicken pox into a public setting without a medical need for doing so.