My dh expresses care via -
1 taking action when I am upset -say if there is an issue at work ,he will listen , advise .
2 he express care via practical things.eg doing the mot appts for the cars.
I know that we all have out different love language’s - re how we express or receive care.
For example- I know his is food and action - so I bake healthy treats and good meals for him .
ie i try to notice his love language that he feels cared about- do it his way .
The issue is he expresses care for me according to what HIS love language is - so he does practical action things for me - when he knows that mine is surprises, gestures, arranging time together… little ( not expensive at all) gifts-but instead I get my car mot done.
Now don't want to be ungrateful.!!
He has a v kind nature.
But I am struggling with the fact that I try to do things according to what I know he likes ,but he expresses care according to what he likes . So I don't get a suggestion of a night out , etc - which I would really so appreciate.
I feel that am partly bu and partly not !
I yearn for romantic type little gifts / a night out planned etc
Have talked about it in the past many times, and whilst he knows that I appreciate his practical side , he has said he will try to be more expressive in the way that I would really enjoy. But this only lasts a week or son, then he goes back to type.
Am I b u to explain the small things that would give me pockets of joy?
expect him to adapt?
or am I best just to accept and try not to want those things in a dh ?
I feel shallow- but they are really important to me and how I feel valued ( which he knows) .
Do I work on accepting he will never do it ? I have asked many times and I really feel that nothing will change.