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AIBU?

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Original poster

Not to disclose the ingredients?

169 replies

Sparklingred · 29/07/2025 15:57

My friend just got back from abroad and brought us some biscuits. They were super tasty and really buttery. DP ended up eating most of them.

When I wanted to bin the packet, I noticed they had lard in them. DP doesn’t eat pork for religious reasons. He’s not super religious otherwise, but that’s the one thing he sticks to.

Now I don’t know whether to tell him. I feel bad keeping it from him, but he’s already eaten them, and I’m worried he might get upset or blame my friend. She definitely didn’t mean any harm. She’s not the type to check ingredients, and honestly, we didn’t expect biscuits to have lard either.

YABU - tell him
YANBU - don’t tell him

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 29/07/2025 17:32

itsabeautifuldayjuly · 29/07/2025 17:20

Most animal fat in bakery products will be beef anyway.
in this case, i would definitely assume its beef and not tell him - nothing he can do now (and it likely was beef!)

Edited

Tallow and suet are beef so something labelled lard has very high chance it’s pork

Ilikemymenlikeilikemycoffee · 29/07/2025 17:27

Why bother upsetting him?

ShesTheAlbatross · 29/07/2025 17:26

Sparklingred · 29/07/2025 16:07

I just worry he’d feel bad when there’s nothing he can do about it now. Also, I don’t think he’d say anything about my friend, but I worry he might think she did it on purpose or was insensitive to his dietary choices.

Show quote history

How could he possibly think she was insensitive for giving them to him when he didn’t care enough to read the packet before eating! If he’s not going to read packaging he absolutely cannot expect others to. If she’s aware of him not eating it, then I assume she had exactly the same thought process as him, which was to assume that biscuits would be fine and therefore no need to check.

Laughandleaveit · 29/07/2025 17:23

No point in telling him now. It'll just cause him to be annoyed at you and your friend.
Next time just check the ingredients yourself. I'd be inclined not to though, if he really is that bothered then he'd check them himself.

RobinEllacotStrike · 29/07/2025 17:23

If the cookies were from Spain they are likely to be pork lard - its very commonly used there in cookies etc

itsabeautifuldayjuly · 29/07/2025 17:20

Most animal fat in bakery products will be beef anyway.
in this case, i would definitely assume its beef and not tell him - nothing he can do now (and it likely was beef!)

dottymac · 29/07/2025 17:17

As a 30 year+ vegetarian, take it from me - dont tell him. No good can come of that and it will only make him feel bad. There's no biscuits left so no chance to consume any more. Bury that information in your own head and move on.

JohnTheRevelator · 29/07/2025 17:16

What he doesn't know can't hurt him.

Ponderingwindow · 29/07/2025 17:15

It’s a preference not an actual dietary requirement and he didn’t bother to check. There is no need to bring it up.

people who actually NEED to worry about these things are constantly checking labels and asking questions.

Cucy · 29/07/2025 17:12

SamphiretheTervosaur · 29/07/2025 16:09

You are mothering him

He could have read the ingredients list

Everyone with dietary choices and restrictions should

He ate them.

I agree.

Why are you treating him like a child OP.

Its really cringey to read about it, it must be way worse in person.

5128gap · 29/07/2025 17:10

Is there anything religious he would need to do to clense himself/atone? If not then I'd definitely say nothing.

LIGHTSNACKER · 29/07/2025 17:07

Don't tell him. If you had told him he'd have no right to be annoyed at her. If he didn't look at the ingredients then why would she?

GloriaMonday · 29/07/2025 17:06

@raininginlanzarote , Lard is pig fat. It isn't from beef.
Gelatine can be from pork or beef.

Original poster
Sparklingred · 29/07/2025 17:04

CalzoneOnLegs · 29/07/2025 17:03

@Sparklingred were the biscuits from Thailand OP?

They were from Spain.

OP posts:
MrsEndeavourMorse · 29/07/2025 17:04

Ignorance is bliss

CalzoneOnLegs · 29/07/2025 17:03

@Sparklingred were the biscuits from Thailand OP?

menopausalfart · 29/07/2025 16:55

I find it odd that you think he'd jump to the conclusion that your friend did it deliberately.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 29/07/2025 16:54

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 29/07/2025 16:51

So I initially voted don’t tell him, but having reread your post I’m not so sure. You say you’re worried about his reaction and that he might blame your friend. That is concerning. No one expects lard to be in biscuits, but since he’s the one avoiding pork it’s very much his responsibility to check. I think I’d tell him so that he can be aware of this in future and check ingredients on similar products. Feeling you can’t tell him because you’re worried about how he will react and who he will blame is a far bigger problem than him accidentally eating some lard.

Just to counteract my previous message. I did think why tell him.. but I think that @ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine has a good point.

diddl · 29/07/2025 16:52

but I worry he might think she did it on purpose or was insensitive to his dietary choices.

You don't think much of him do you?

Chances are like him, she didn't read the ingredients.

RampantIvy · 29/07/2025 16:52

raininginlanzarote · 29/07/2025 16:01

Lard can be from beef as well as pork. Do the ingredients differentiate between them?

Sorry, that's not right. Lard is from pork, tallow is from beef.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 29/07/2025 16:52

My DM used to talk in Proverbs and Maddeningly (because I could always find a way to counteract them) I find myself remembering them and they drove me mad because they were not, as she supposed, actual facts, but she would have said

"What the eye doesn't see the heart doesn't grieve over."

and also

"Eaten Bread is soon forgotten."

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 29/07/2025 16:51

So I initially voted don’t tell him, but having reread your post I’m not so sure. You say you’re worried about his reaction and that he might blame your friend. That is concerning. No one expects lard to be in biscuits, but since he’s the one avoiding pork it’s very much his responsibility to check. I think I’d tell him so that he can be aware of this in future and check ingredients on similar products. Feeling you can’t tell him because you’re worried about how he will react and who he will blame is a far bigger problem than him accidentally eating some lard.

whackamole666 · 29/07/2025 16:50

Sparklingred · 29/07/2025 16:09

Thanks, I didn’t know that. It just said lard, so I assumed pork.

Show quote history

I believe lard is pork and dripping is beef

SequinsandSoleros · 29/07/2025 16:50

Nothing gained from telling him.

JuvenileBigfoot · 29/07/2025 16:48

By the way, if he is Muslim the teaching is that if you accidentally eat pork you are forgiven as God knows you didn't know.

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