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AIBU?

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Mum guilt!

36 replies

HH93 · 29/07/2025 15:52

I can’t drive, and nor will I unfortunately.

I have tried before a few times and had extreme anxieties which crippled me and made me very very poorly.

however now my children are getting older I’m beginning to feel guilt for not being able to take them places that don’t require walking or a bus when it comes to the holidays .

They certainly don’t go without!, we go on plenty of holidays and weekend trips when their dads not working, but I can’t help feeling so so shit about myself and really getting myself down about it.

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Skybluepinky · 03/08/2025 19:16

It’s normal for children not to be doing stuff every day in the holidays, children need to get bored in order to use their imagination.

HH93 · 03/08/2025 18:46

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Haven’t been on the bus yet :) had 2 poorly children

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Notanartist81 · 03/08/2025 14:52

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AvidJadeShaker · 29/07/2025 17:54

Do your local buses offer 24 hour bus passes, if so you could do two days out in a row if you buy the pass at the right time? I often get one around 2pm, go out and then go out again the next morning and make sure I’m back on the bus home before 2.

Ademasstudio · 29/07/2025 17:52

Stagecoach midlands…. 5-15 get 25% off

however most are doing holiday family offers eg in Mansfield, travel all day for kids is £3

HH93 · 29/07/2025 17:50

Ademasstudio · 29/07/2025 17:49

Ok so it’s stagecoach

Loads of deals for families and reduced children rates

are you in Scotland?

No, in the midlands :)

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Ademasstudio · 29/07/2025 17:49

Ok so it’s stagecoach

Loads of deals for families and reduced children rates

are you in Scotland?

Ademasstudio · 29/07/2025 17:43

What’s the bus company op?

HH93 · 29/07/2025 17:32

Ademasstudio · 29/07/2025 16:54

Now try two young persons

Edited

Yeah, I did. It’s exactly the same.

I might just have to see what the driver says rather than the app

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Dearover · 29/07/2025 17:13

Search child tickets or daily, weekly monthly pass tickets on your bus company's website. You should find lots of regular user deals

LuckyNumberFive · 29/07/2025 16:58

HH93 · 29/07/2025 16:44

which can be okay for every so often but doesn’t take long to mount up when you’re trying to be careful with money

Definitely!

Ademasstudio · 29/07/2025 16:54

HH93 · 29/07/2025 16:35

yeah!

one blacked out where I live, but you can see it changes to 3 adults after adding children

Now try two young persons

HH93 · 29/07/2025 16:52

zoemum2006 · 29/07/2025 16:49

My mum didn't drive when we were kids and it wasn't an issue but I grew up in London. I think it's living quite rurally that makes things difficult.

Do you have a medical condition that means you can't learn to drive? Or is the cost an issue?

If neither are a problem I'd definitely make the effort to learn; it will open up your life so much. Is there any treatment you can get for the anxiety around driving? My friend passed her test but had severe anxiety about driving but when her husband left her she had to push through.

Cost is definitely a huge factor of it.

i was on medication which I came off last year which I don’t think I’d go back on as it began to have to opposite effect of what it was meant for.

so sorry your friend had to deal with that, pleased she was able to push through

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zoemum2006 · 29/07/2025 16:49

My mum didn't drive when we were kids and it wasn't an issue but I grew up in London. I think it's living quite rurally that makes things difficult.

Do you have a medical condition that means you can't learn to drive? Or is the cost an issue?

If neither are a problem I'd definitely make the effort to learn; it will open up your life so much. Is there any treatment you can get for the anxiety around driving? My friend passed her test but had severe anxiety about driving but when her husband left her she had to push through.

HH93 · 29/07/2025 16:44

LuckyNumberFive · 29/07/2025 16:43

Our buses are capped at £3 per single, it's only 7 miles to town in one direction, 10 miles in another. Same price as you.

which can be okay for every so often but doesn’t take long to mount up when you’re trying to be careful with money

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LuckyNumberFive · 29/07/2025 16:43

Our buses are capped at £3 per single, it's only 7 miles to town in one direction, 10 miles in another. Same price as you.

HH93 · 29/07/2025 16:43

Danikm151 · 29/07/2025 16:42

I don’t drive but we live in the midlands so the bus service is great compared to other places.
We get the coach or train to holidays.

The price cap is on single tickets - usually the daily rate is cheaper than a return ticket. Have you looked into that.

Oh is it? Thanks, I’ll look into that

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Danikm151 · 29/07/2025 16:42

I don’t drive but we live in the midlands so the bus service is great compared to other places.
We get the coach or train to holidays.

The price cap is on single tickets - usually the daily rate is cheaper than a return ticket. Have you looked into that.

HH93 · 29/07/2025 16:36

butterdish93 · 29/07/2025 16:34

I pay less than a fiver for most day passes depending on where I’m going. The kids go free. Not sure when they have to start paying but it was always half fare for kids if I remember correctly.

Thank you!, I’m beginning to think we might have some dodgey drivers that are charging more than they should

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HH93 · 29/07/2025 16:35

Ademasstudio · 29/07/2025 16:30

£6 each
and there’s no difference In pricing between an result and a child?

Are you sure op?

yeah!

one blacked out where I live, but you can see it changes to 3 adults after adding children

Mum guilt!
Mum guilt!
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butterdish93 · 29/07/2025 16:34

I pay less than a fiver for most day passes depending on where I’m going. The kids go free. Not sure when they have to start paying but it was always half fare for kids if I remember correctly.

OhNoMyChocMelted · 29/07/2025 16:32

HH93 · 29/07/2025 16:18

Yeah! £18 for return tickets to town and back!! (I know, £6 each but there’s meant to be a cap. Which there isn’t here unfortunately!!).

Local to schools yes, their close friends - no.

Ours is expensive too. I thankfully drive but the dcs wanted to bus/train to the cinema to make a day of it. It had been a long time on public transport.
1 adult 3 dcs bus return to station was £14 ( 6 stops ) train was £23 return.
So just to go to the next town travel before cinema was £37!.
Parking would have been £6. Fuel barely any as the drive is 15 min

Ademasstudio · 29/07/2025 16:30

£6 each
and there’s no difference In pricing between an result and a child?

Are you sure op?

Ademasstudio · 29/07/2025 16:29

So is that £9 return for you and £9 return for the two children

for a 6 mile bus journey? That’s outrageous!!

HH93 · 29/07/2025 16:29

Ademasstudio · 29/07/2025 16:29

Loads of family bus passes in holidays

Thanks for this info, I’ll certainly ask!

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