To find it weird that smacking kids is still normal?

I’ve seen cultural differences first hand as well and there are some cultures that I also think are abhorrent eg honour killings.

Most children in day to day life don’t behave how the ones who stand out on Mumsnet do either.

There was nothing vague about my post. I don't know what you're going on about.

Yes, I agree. When I was in any kind of a problematic situation or scared of something, I wouldn’t go to my mother because I knew from experience that she would hit me rather than support me.

Why are you being so mealy-mouthed, then? If you’re so sure the way to make children behave is to hit them, why aren’t you just coming out and saying ‘I believe children should be hit to make them behave better’? I mean, at least have the courage of your convictions instead of being vague about it.

It is normal if you're 142.
My dad, who never smacked my brother and me, walking into my granny's living room to find my 3-year old brother crying: 'Why's he crying?'
My granny, born 1883: 'Because I smacked him.'
My dad: 'What's he done?'
My granny: 'Nothing, but it's good for him.'

In 2025, highly abnormal. We shouldn't even be talking about it anymore.

So you hit your kids?

I’m firm with mine. There are rules and boundaries in place. I’m not afraid to raise my voice if necessary, but If I ever, ever raised a hand to him I’d think I’d lost the plot. Physical abuse isn’t parenting.

I don't want my children to be scared of me, I try to raise them to be respectful to everyone, I display the behaviours I want them to emulate.
I would consider myself a failure of a parent if my children fears me, who wants that? Any relationship like that is not authentically of love.

Fear isn't parenting.

A couple of years ago I intervened with a man 'smacking' a boy on the high street, the boy was about 8/9 and he had him by the top of the arm pushing him forward and was repeatedly hitting his lower back. I came out of a shop and shouted hey you can't do that, he told me to fuck off amongst other things, and then 6'4 DH appeared behind me, I got the boy into the shop and the security from m&s called the street rangers on the radio and police came, I had the boy with me. I have no idea what happened to that boy, we gave statements and said we were willing to go to court, I did get a call a few months later and the OIC just said it was being dealt with they had CCTV and we wouldn't be needed further. So I don't know if he was charged or it became a social care matter. What surprised me was that other people didn't intervene but were watching. I do work in criminal justice so maybe I'm less intimidated by that kind of man than others.

Smacking doesn't seem to happen in our circle, but I have heard parents threaten to smack children in town. That's the only time I have seen it though.

Gentle parenting

though it’s not one or the other…

I don't need stats. I've seen the cultural difference first hand. Children from my culture wouldn't dream of behaving the way described on Mumsnet.

Beating a smaller and weaker person into submission is abhorrent so why is hitting a child any different. Yes children misbehave but they lack impulse control and experience of the world.

what it did to me was made me a good liar to my parents and I only told them what they needed to know. I got into some bad situations but didn’t trust my parents to be reasonable so fight go to them for help. I remember my mum telling the neighbour that k told her everything as we were so flows and I was thinking ‘that’s what you think, I tell you what I want you to know!’ She thinks I was a virgin till I met my husband etc.

Smacking hasn't been considered acceptable for a good while now, thank goodness.
My mother was awful for it, used to pull our hair if we didn't keep up, pull down our trousers and knickers out and about to give a proper wallop of a smack on the bum, absolutely humiliating. If we didn't go to her when she yelled " come ere " we would get it twice as bad with a hairbrush at home and then made to stand in the corner the rest of the day.

She wouldn't do it to the grandchildren now though, mostly because shes older and knows how horrible she was but there's a bit of her that would be embarrassed and shamed doing it in public now.

I do have one acquaintance who will tell me about hitting her kids and it certainly feels weird to hear it.

It would be interesting to see the stats that informed this post. How can physically assaulting a child actually be effective surely it leads to normalising violent behaviour. Some children have additional needs such as autism or experienced trauma which can lead to them acting put in a way as they struggle to communicate their needs. I just think this is a sad way of saying it is okay to be violent towards children as it will make them behave.

Normal for who? I don’t know a single peer of mine who smacks their children.

I disagree that it's normal and was surprised some posters said it is in their areas. I grew up in the 80s and it was possibly common but I know I was never smacked neither were my cousins or most of my friends. Parents were stricter though and there were things we wouldn't dare do, we were more well behaved than the kids today.

I think if a few more parents disciplined their kids with a smack then perhaps we wouldn't be facing a bloody epidemic of terribly behaved kids.

Every other day there's a thread on here of someone whose child is completely out of control and the advice is usually some nonsense about taking to them and giving them space.

Im Birmingham I see it I nearly got sacked when I intervened when a mother took her toddler behind a post to smack her in a supermarket didn’t deter me though
also loud shouty parents threatening the kids,scares mine as they are not used to it
The worst was at the reception settling in session at primary school she took him outside and beat the crap out of her 4 year old !!!!! Nobody said anything except me I don’t care if they shun me for 6 years
I was beaten as a child and no one helped me even when I went to school with adult bite marks

I don't think it is seen as normal anymore is it? I'm one of the people who was smacked as a child, not for every little thing, just for the really bad stuff, and I do believe that it hasn't harmed me. I would never smack my own child though. I don't actually know anyone who does still smack their child

Surely it’s not still normal? I was smacked absolutely loads as a child and would never, ever do that to my children.

I was smacked as a child several times. I remember being smacked so hard I had red marks on my little body for something I didn't do. It added to my childhood trauma and I am not contact with my parents for other reasons too. Never felt the need to subject my children to being smacked.

I lived in Singapore for a few years and there is still a very strong caning and smacking culture. Every so often a news article would be written debating it, and underneath 95% of the comments were parents saying they caned their kids, they were caned themselves and were fine, “spare the rod, spoil the child” was repeated over and over etc etc. There was a lone comment or two decrying it. As someone who was caned as a child my heart went out to all those scared little children.

I don’t think it’s normal at all anymore. I’ve not heard anyone threaten to smack their kids, and I’m pretty sure if anyone saw it happening, they’d be calling SS or at least have something to say about it.