To find it weird that smacking kids is still normal?

I saw a father smack his 5? year old daughter the other day at the supermarket. He did so on the ‘evidence’ of her wrong doing from her 10? year old sister. He did it deliberately and both girls acted as if it was normal. The smacked one just stood and cried without making a sound. In hindsight I wonder if that was a protective mechanism.

I still wish I’d said something but honestly I was so gobsmacked and he was about a foot taller and several stones bigger than me. The check out lady and I met eyes and we could see each other were horrified but I guess she too didn’t dare say anything.

As we didn't know him I suppose it might have been useless to speak to him anyway, but I still regret not saying anything.

I absolutely agree with you.

It really isn’t. ‘Smacking’ is assault. Hardly on a par with saying your kid can’t have their PlayStation back till they’ve apologised .

The Tories refused to make it illegal in 2023. One more reason never to vote for them ever again. Hopefully Labour will do the right thing soon.

Why is it ok to confiscate something from a child and not an adult?
why is it ok to tell a child they can’t leave the house but doing so to an adult would be false imprisonment?
The answer is because you are not responsible for the behaviour and future success of other adults.
I’m not particularly pro smacking but this argument always comes up and unless you are someone who never punishes their children at all, it’s nonsensical.

It also shows a lack of imagination. I've seen my BF supervise a group of youngsters at a barbecue, break up fights, deal with his unruly Nephews when they were toddlers, a get an annoying teen boy in a headlock - his best friend's nephew - all without resorting to violence.
He is huge but extremely easy going, so I suppose it's easier for him. He hasn't got kids but is such an avuncular type and can remember what it was like to be very young, he's just got the knack for it I suppose. He's got far more patiences than I have .

If you hit you've lost control. You're hitting out of anger / frustration. It's not ok.

Totally agree @Notmycircusnotmyotterbut he uses discipline as his reason and feels he is justified. I just feel you can’t teach a child not to slap/hit for example if you are going to do the same to them. And there should be no need if you use other disciplining methods properly.

I agree and would never smack mine. I know two people who do smack their children - out of frustration when they lose control - and I've distanced the friendships because of it.

Why is it ok to hit a child but not an adult?

Morning all, I am so completely against smacking a child under any circumstances but I have a family member who does it when their child misbehaves. It really bothers and upsets me and I don’t know how to get them to stop. They are foreign and I think it was more normal in their culture growing. Any advice? Thanks

I completely agree. But this thread is specifically about smacking so I was only referring to that.

Last month on holiday in Italy an Italian family were sitting behind us in a restaurant, their toddler was just being a toddler, fidgeting and fussing over his food.

I saw his dad smack him very hard at the back of his head, my 4 year old noticed because the poor boy was crying so loudly.

I felt so bad for him and asked my husband if we should say something. He was adamant we say nothing as it’s down to them how they discipline and smacking might be a cultural thing.

The boy bounced back after crying for 15 mins but I couldn’t get his little crying face out of my head for ages.

Gosh, that is astonishing even though I've seen it with parents of peers of my DS e.g. if they are swearing (I posted about this on the other smacking thread).
We have occasionally had to intervene physically with him (again as posted upthread lifting an adult out of a situation where they are not obeying you is likely illegal but we have had to do it with DS).
But for a supposedly pleasant extra curricular activity? My word.

It’s definitely not normal. ‘Smacking’ is physically assaulting a child and I’m glad Scotland and Wales recognise this.

Cue the brigade of ‘I was hit and it never did me any harm!!11’ I find the people that say this are often not cognisant of the harm it did do, and the way this shaped their personalities and own parenting.

I don't think it's normal either, and if I saw it happening in public, I'd have to intervene. Pick on somebody your own size!

My 10 year old danced for about 6 months and I was so very surprised by how much smacking was happening in the changing rooms before shows and exams. If your kid needs a smack to dance, they don't want to dance.

Not necessarily smacking but definitely a deterioration in parents willing to discipline their children in whatever way that might take.

I’m sure there are a lot of reasons for lower crime such as less young people drinking and better car security but there is absolutely no way on the planet it’s better parenting when more and more children are disgustingly behaved at school and more and more kids are arriving at school in nappies and unable to use a knife and fork.

I agree with this. I also work in schools, most of the kids with behaviour issues are from homes where we know there is violence.

@Gymrabbit maybe children's behaviour is worse but actual crime has surprisingly decreased. Many causes of course - policing, society being less tolerant of minor crime/boys will be boys, better income, but also possibly better parenting.

That is so sad.

But I agree with you re parents taking out life’s frustrations on their children.

It’s just hard to imagine now that society thought it was OK!

Who on earth thinks its normal?

It's illegal here in Wales.

I'm a teacher.

The deterioration of behaviour in schools is a big issue but there are many reasons for that and his nothing to do with parents not smacking.

Overwhelmingly, the children who display the most aggressive behaviours at school are those we know are smacked/hit at home or see smacking and hitting at home.

Completely agree, OP.

And if a child discloses to me that they've been smacked at home, for any reason at all, I have to record it under our safeguarding policy.

Obviously, most of the time it just sits on file and doesn't go anywhere unless they are hit with something or it's part of a bigger issue but, if you smack your child and they tell their teacher, it will be recorded.