To think that DD(8) and DD(1) will always have to share a room when older?

I'll blow your minds. I shared a room while we had a spare bedroom. Never occurred to me that I needed my own room, never wanted one, didn't really like having one at university and prefer sharing.

Really don't get the angst. As for parents sleeping on a sofa bed so their same sex kids have their own rooms, crazy.

Why do you feel so sorry for them? Have they given you any reason to believe they are unhappy?

I get what you're saying, but if you are one of those boys imagine how you would feel? I only recently found out one of those families has their eldest who is 15 in his own room, the two younger boys share, the little girl who is 5 or 6 gets her own room which means the parents must be in the living room for a bedroom as it's a three bed terraced they live in. I am acutely aware she kept trying until she got a girl regardless of how many boys she had first. She made no secret of it. Absolutely I do feel sorry for those boys. Not claiming this happened in your own family but it does happen where parents purposefully keep going even though they just don't have the space even of there's a risk of the opposite sex last...

I had two to a bedroom so they all were treated the same up until recently where the two teens now have a room each.

My 24yo and 19yo are still technically sharing, although we were able to put in a partition wall for privacy. Tbf, I hadn’t expected my children to be here so long!

It will become their normal to share and not everyone can have perfection given how expensive things are now.

Because if there's only one girl what other way would you do it?

If it was 2 girls and a boy then the girls would share

More or less what we've done this year. Makes sense using the lounge as master bedroom. Saves having to move house especially if everyone is settled in school.

I am in a 4 bed (4th bedroom is tiny and only fits a bed, desk and wardrobe.) I have 4 children. We are on a sofa bed in the front room. Eldest is now at uni so we migrate to her bedroom during term time. but it allows them all their own space.

Well then you take that room and DDs can split your room 🤷‍♀️

Seems very typical that all boys get bunged into one room and the girl gets a room all to herself. I know three families locally with three boys and a girl in a 3 bed terraced house. I always feel sorry for those boys.

I know loads of people who shared a bedroom growing up with a similar age gap. It’s normal. Not everyone can afford a four bed house. It’ll be easier to move now whilst eldest girl is in primary school.

6 year gap between me and my sister and we shared until she went to uni. 7 year gap between my two brothers who also shared until older one went to uni. I don’t see an issue at all.

Honestly, the only way I want better for my daughter is in some of the attitudes and approaches to the world my parents had. I'm perfectly happy with how I grew up materially, we never went hungry, we always had some things we wanted even if not everything and I learnt the value of money and hardwork. I have so many wonderful memories of things we did together.

I've never actually thought to put into words how I want better for my daughter so thanks for the question and making me clarify that to myself.

It’s fine to have a 3 bed house with 3 children. You and DH have the master bedroom, 2 daughters have the second biggest room and your son has the smallest room. My brothers shared a room and I had several friends who shared with their sister (all with several years age gap).

It’s only on Mumsnet where women will demand that you give the master bedroom to the girls or you share a room with the youngest until the eldest has moved out or you sleep in the living room.

It's only very recently that children have mainly had their own rooms, years ago they shared, people had more children, and with the cost of housing nowadays it will become the norm again.

But aren't you supposed to want better for your children, just because you shared, why should they? Tbh I'm really shocked at how many people don't think it's an issue now. The only person I knew growing up who shared were my much older cousins (there were 6 of them in a 3 bed house and another where there were 5 of them in a 3 bed house) this was back in the early 80s when they were teens. Google it, but surely it's common sense! It's not the only indicator, but it's one of many.

Well, no. I don't consider room sharing an unbearable hardship so didn't factor it into my planning. I genuinely didn't realise some people thought it was so awful. It was just normal for me growing up and still seems pretty common among my friends.

Your choice of words is very telling, a home with shared rooms isn't automatically chaos. Guess you're in circles where you've never actuality seen it and are basing your impressions on daily mail stereotypes of poverty.

I'm still waiting for someone to point me to which organisation/ document states that merely sharing a room is an indicator of poverty.

My nieces aged 16 and 11 share and always have done, because they also have a brother and they live with their parents in a totally normal 3 bed semi...in a nice area...

It's really not at all unusual or a problem

What the heck is ‘normal’?? You mean normals for you, your limited life experience and your social circle.
You do know that room sharing and even bed sharing is extremely common and ‘normal’ to billions of children across the globe. And most of them grow up perfectly happy and well.
Having a room for each child is a uniquely 1st world and higher income privilege.

I shared with my sister until she left home with the same age gap. I didn't think it was an issue but my sister would probably say differently. Especially that day I read her diary....😂

We are now extremely close as grown ass adults with teenage/adult children of our own.

Forgot to add, i think it's good for children to share.

My dc all share rooms. Most of their friends do too, it's only really the children who don't have siblings the same sex who have their own rooms.

I shared with a sibling until I moved out at 18. My home was a sanctuary and not the chaos you seem to think arises from sharing a bedroom.

Yes and then people grow into adults and have to share again anyway 😬😅 And not just the room but the bed too!

Yet that never seems to get spoken or debated about 🤣

At least room sharing might prepare you somewhat better for that.

I think our cot bed said it was good for up to about age 8 - which would mean they might not have to share for a good while yet. I shared with a significantly younger sister at age 15-18, and it was fine. There was another sister between us, but it worked better to have the bigger gap - it meant my sister was asleep by the time I went to bed, so I could put my bedside light on without disturbing her (with the sister closer in age, we argued all the time about things like that).

I would recommend, if they're likely have to share later on, that it gets mentioned regularly so that it does not come as a shock to a stroppy teen when it becomes necessary. You could also turn the study into her "den" at that point, so she has somewhere private to work and chill until bedtime.