Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To quit work and do an OU degree?

129 replies

Agix · 29/07/2025 08:55

I've posted about quitting work before, due to my health. I was advised by mumsnet that at the time it wasn't the best idea. Suggestion was to go part time instead, which I did.

Since then, my health has declined further. It's some life-long mental health, some physical health, and recently diagnosed neurodivergence which may explain a whole lot of it. I am in therapy on the NHS now.

My partner and I have gotten married since. His income has also increased slightly.

Hes very keen for me to quit work now and focus on taking time to get better, he says he doesn't want to see me so unwell and with no life anymore, and just carrying on like this. He says he thinks it'll just keep getting worse if nothing changes, and I can't say I think he's wrong. I went part time, and things are still getting worse. I feel I can't catch up, nothing is getting fixed.

He is extremely keen for me to get a degree when I told him I wanted to, I never got the chance when I was younger, and I'd love to do it too. He says I deserve the opportunity and believes I'd do well.

With his take home pay, we have around £300 a month left over after current expenses.. Perhaps more when we cut and reduce the unnecessary expenses (subscriptions, etc). We have around £10k savings. So it'll be tight... But doesnt everyone have to struggle to get anywhere? He says getting further raises is not out of the question for him either. No kids, just a cat. No kids on the horizon.

I'm scared with the drop in income, my take home is low but we live well and securely now due to it, but coming round to the idea for the sake of bettering myself . I don't think current work is sustainable anyway, I'm not performing well anymore with the impact of my health. Reasonable adjustments havnt worked. Losing this job isn't off the table...

I think quitting work, and doing an OU course (Law) would be great for me. I get some time off work before course starts, can manage my own time during, learn from home, attending therapy, and have a goal so I'm not rotting... And hopefully new, better footing to re-enter the work force when I am able. Re-calibrate for 3-4 years.

Is it entirely stupid to be on the verge of doing this?

YABU - don't do it.

YANBU - do it, it could work out for the best (obviously with effort from me).

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
FluentPeachBeaker · 12/08/2025 09:22

Do the degree and enjoy it. You can start with a single level 1 course and take it from there.

You've then got a ton of flexibility with the OU to stick with Law or put your courses towards a more general degree

If you don't get on with it, you can still leave with an interim qualification and a bunch of knowledge.

Life is short, go for it!

Magnahot · 11/08/2025 15:42

LawType · 29/07/2025 14:41

Goodness me, OP, you have read a lot into what absolutely wasn’t there. I feel you have done the same regarding some others’ posts too. And none of what I said (obviously I can’t speak for others) was based on your autism diagnosis, but rather the specific difficulties you described about your current work and your needs and what the actual law degree covers and entails.

If it makes you feel better to assume I am being snooty, feel free. No skin off my nose. But the number of “likes” I have received on my responses suggests others can see I was genuinely trying to help. And I really was. In between trying to take care of a toddler too! I’m off. Again, best of luck.

Show quote history

@LawType

Agreed

The OP’s reaction to this very thread would indicate the rigours of a degree, whilst also labouring under very significant health issues, would be… unwise to say the least

Magnahot · 11/08/2025 15:39

TheBlueRobin · 11/08/2025 08:41

Yes they've always been very understanding and helped to signpost, more than a brick university.

Show quote history

Signpost to… what?

So they haven’t actually provided extensive support. They have pointed you to where you might able to get help from other bodies? @TheBlueRobin

Dozer · 11/08/2025 10:05

The degree likely won’t be the main problem, bigger problems seem likely to be the financial cost of the degree and lost earnings, associated debt, financial dependency on her H and finding paid work that the OP feels able to do and be well. Given her health and work challenges and that she’s not rich, a degree seems unlikely to be a good decision.

MaggieBsBoat · 11/08/2025 09:11

law is a very transferable degree. It’s also very hard work (I studied law). BUT I do not doubt you can do it OP!

I also studied at the OU (though I did my law degree at a brick uni.

The OU is as good, if not better than a lot of standard unis and my experience was that it served me better than both my degrees studied at brick unis (RG unis also).

Do check though that they have a human rights law module. It is not a standard QLD module.

Go for it! You’ll regret not doing it. But expect hard work, so pace yourself. Attend all tutorials, always reach out to your advisor at the first sign of trouble and enjoy!

TheBlueRobin · 11/08/2025 08:41

Megaclean · 09/08/2025 16:29

Have you been a recipient of this extensive support you speak of?

Show quote history

Yes they've always been very understanding and helped to signpost, more than a brick university.

Megaclean · 09/08/2025 16:29

TheBlueRobin · 09/08/2025 15:27

The OU is excellent at supporting students with disabilities and neurodiversity and you can take time out between modules if needed, and very understanding if you need extensions etc. Student support is very good and thorough.

I'd recommend looking at their Access courses.

You say Law. Is this out of personal interest or career driven? Thinking clearly about your study motivations is important if you're committing to it for 6 years.

Have you been a recipient of this extensive support you speak of?

ItTook9Years · 09/08/2025 16:17

TheBlueRobin · 09/08/2025 15:27

The OU is excellent at supporting students with disabilities and neurodiversity and you can take time out between modules if needed, and very understanding if you need extensions etc. Student support is very good and thorough.

I'd recommend looking at their Access courses.

You say Law. Is this out of personal interest or career driven? Thinking clearly about your study motivations is important if you're committing to it for 6 years.

The support for this ND student was non-existent!

TheBlueRobin · 09/08/2025 15:27

The OU is excellent at supporting students with disabilities and neurodiversity and you can take time out between modules if needed, and very understanding if you need extensions etc. Student support is very good and thorough.

I'd recommend looking at their Access courses.

You say Law. Is this out of personal interest or career driven? Thinking clearly about your study motivations is important if you're committing to it for 6 years.

Megaclean · 09/08/2025 15:10

This seems very very ambitious given how you convey your acute struggles in the workplace and ongoing very serious health struggles.

I say that as a law graduate OP.

Sunholidays · 29/07/2025 21:55

Go for it OP. I have an open university degree myself and enjoyed doing it (even the exams).

Barney16 · 29/07/2025 21:49

Go for it. OU are great and you will love it. Sure it will be hard but as one of my uni lecturers said why would anyone expect it to be easy? Allow 3x however long you think it may take you to complete a piece of work and just bloody revel in the sheer delight of learning something new. There is nothing like it.

BubblyBath178 · 29/07/2025 21:35

Yikes, I wouldn’t do it if I were you. Does it definitely have to be law? There’s lots of jobs where they will pay for you to do a degree if you’re desperate to get one. No idea if you can do that in the legal world but lots of other employers offer it. Bonus is, you’ll be working all the time and you won’t build up a student loan 👍

ItTook9Years · 29/07/2025 21:31

Dozer · 29/07/2025 12:43

Law, charity casework and HR don’t seem like realistic options for you, based on the information you’ve provided.

The most likely outcome of doing this seems that you will get a degree but incur high costs: £30k+ of debt (student loans) plus your lost potential earnings. With uncertain job prospects.

This would also put you in a position of financial reliance on your H.

I think it’d be better to seek to remain in paid work of some kind.

I agree. I’ve been in HR for 20 years and my final OU module was law. I’m also ND (ADHD).

OP a remote entry level HR job is beyond unlikely. And a law degree won’t prepare you for it. Sorry.

Cakeandusername · 29/07/2025 17:15

University of Law offers distance learning options might be worth looking into as well as OU.

BreadDread · 29/07/2025 17:09

The advice you have been given by experienced lawyers is invaluable and honest. If you choose to dismiss it as ableism and gatekeeping, then maybe you should give yourself some time to speak to other lawyers or law graduates on other forums, to see if you receive similar advice. I imagine you will.

KitsyWitsy · 29/07/2025 16:39

You could lose your pip if it comes up for renewal during it. They will use you doing a degree as evidence that you’re fine and capable. Just be careful about that. Good luck.

Ademasstudio · 29/07/2025 16:37

Aligirlbear · 29/07/2025 16:36

If i were you I would try to continue to work part time and study with the OU. The OU is great for studying around daily life ( I did a degree and masters with the OU while working ) . Studying remotely can be quite lonely so contact with colleagues will be helpful. Also for your MH work is recognised as being more beneficial than being at home. While quitting work might should a good idea you are already stressing about a drop income which could send you into a further spiral. If working and studying doesn’t work then you can rethink quitting work, but if you have already quit it will be difficult to go back.

The OP has 100% rules out that she’s able to do that

but 100% sure able to do a law degree

Aligirlbear · 29/07/2025 16:36

If i were you I would try to continue to work part time and study with the OU. The OU is great for studying around daily life ( I did a degree and masters with the OU while working ) . Studying remotely can be quite lonely so contact with colleagues will be helpful. Also for your MH work is recognised as being more beneficial than being at home. While quitting work might should a good idea you are already stressing about a drop income which could send you into a further spiral. If working and studying doesn’t work then you can rethink quitting work, but if you have already quit it will be difficult to go back.

Ademasstudio · 29/07/2025 14:51

“It’s devolved into ableism”?

well, on the basis of this comment, maybe a better understanding of the law would be wise

and if I asked this question mainly about the money side of things was your intention, maybe a more appropriate forum than AIBU

Julen7 · 29/07/2025 14:49

Can’t see any ableism at all on this thread. I’m off too.

IMissSparkling · 29/07/2025 14:44

You say ableism, I say realism. Good luck, it sounds like you are going to need it.

LawType · 29/07/2025 14:41

Agix · 29/07/2025 14:25

You're helping me think about things that I never asked about, that weren't even relevant.

I don't want to work in a law firm.

I don't need something ultra high paying.

I tried to give you grace and treat what you were saying as somewhat relevant, thank you for your input, just for the sake of being polite to you as I assumed you were "just trying to help", and then you went right off course - I gave you an inch, you took a mile. Perhaps about 10!

It's surprising that you consider yourself knowledgeable about people. You're not actually very good at communicating, or being understanding, or even parsing what you're being told by someone else.

Saying you were "simply trying to help" doesn't change what you actually did, or ended up doing. You went off on one, on your high horse, looking down your nose. Was it my disabilities? Or were you just projecting your own insecurities? I guess a bit of both.

Show quote history

Goodness me, OP, you have read a lot into what absolutely wasn’t there. I feel you have done the same regarding some others’ posts too. And none of what I said (obviously I can’t speak for others) was based on your autism diagnosis, but rather the specific difficulties you described about your current work and your needs and what the actual law degree covers and entails.

If it makes you feel better to assume I am being snooty, feel free. No skin off my nose. But the number of “likes” I have received on my responses suggests others can see I was genuinely trying to help. And I really was. In between trying to take care of a toddler too! I’m off. Again, best of luck.

Original poster
Agix · 29/07/2025 14:31

IMissSparkling · 29/07/2025 14:07

You say you don't like working in what's basically a call centre, but it sounds like it's that which allows you to WFH full time. A more senior role in a charity that you need a degree for would be unlikely to let you work from home full time. I can't see how you would be able to do such a job without going into the office or out and about to meetings etc. It sounds like you've got caught up in how things are done at your current organisation and aren't thinking about the bigger picture if you want/need to eventually work somewhere else.
In any case, I think it's madness to give up work and be financially dependent on a partner while you're studying. If you're unable to work part time to support yourself while you study, I wouldn't consider it personally.

The senior roles in the charity I work for very broadly remote. Remote is encouraged. It's cheaper than having offices.

Yes, I will likely have to choose somewhere else to work - who knows if the charity I am with will even exist in 4 years, or operate this way if they do.

Im going to have to hope that people stop being obsessed with grouping up in offices, and home working becomes more accepted for people who need it.

Alternative to trying is quitting work anyway eventually, because this is unsustainable, and existing on benefits. All your tax money. You could just give it directly to me, if you like? No? Then perhaps more people should be supporting WFH for disabled people.

I'll leave the thread now. It has devolved into ableism (from human rights lawyers, no less!) , and obviously that's not helpful to me at all.

Thanks for all the genuine thoughts, encouragement and (useful) cautions.

OP posts:
Higgledypiggledy864 · 29/07/2025 14:28

Agix · 29/07/2025 11:37

I understand. But some of these issues are not going to get better. I can do therapy to stop the night terrors, panic attacks, dissociation, etc... But I'm not going to stop being autistic, easily over stimulated and overwhelmed. I've tried over the years, very hard, to no avail before I understood what was going on with me. Everyone thought I just had very stubborn agoraphobia, I knew I didn't, I knew I wasn't scared of outside.. Outside was just too much. I need to work within my capabilities, instead of trying to be something I'm not.

I can work on myself, sure, and can improve many issues I have going on right now which will make me a lot more capable... but I need to also work on getting into sustainable work from home. And find a way to be useful. I can't sustain work outside the home.

I can't just sit here and rot just because other people don't like WFH.... 😕

Edited
Show quote history

You've had some pretty frustrating responses on here OP! Congratulations on your autism diagnosis, a lot must be clicking into place for you at the moment!!
My husband is autistic and I am in the middle of an online masters so can relate in a vicarious way to what you're saying!

A couple of thoughts...

  1. you are probably well capable of doing a law degree, but it's a big commitment and you need to have a real plan of how you'll use it once you're done - it's not worth the expense and effort of doing it to 'better yourself' - you're good enough already.
  2. try and find yourself a mentor(s) and coach who understands neurodiversity and who has a good perspective on the working world - they will be able to help you chart a career that suits your skills and allows you to grow.
  3. talk to people before you commit and explore a range of different options before you commit to one path - really understand what you are getting yourself into before you make the jump - give yourself a target of, say, 5 people per different career option before you make any commitments - treat it like a research project
  4. if you do take time out and your current organization wants to keep you, is there anyway you can formalise your studies as a career break so you have a guaranteed entry point back into the workplace

Hope that helps

Swipe left for the next trending thread