To say MIL not sleeping on new sofa when it arrives?

Someone can be your family and a guest in your home at the same time. I do value the comfort of my guests which is why I have a daybed with trundle for guests in what will eventually be my child's room when they are six months old. But age is irrelevant, homeowners are the "elders" in their own house. I think many mumsnetters would have better relationships with their in-laws if everyone repected that fact.

@Starry4321 no way would anyone be sleeping on my new sofa. Especially with a dog !

Id die on this hill. I’d also tell mil to her face no ways she was sleeping on the new sofa and neither was her dog.
How ignorant . Sweating all over someone’s new sofa .

Why do you expect that ? I am not 60 yet and my dc is 32 no grandchildren but you don't have to be "elderly" to have toddler grandchildren

You wouldn’t be a guest if you tried to tell me how to arrange my home during your visit.

Someone else's smelly dog on your new sofa? Bleugh. I can see why you aren't happy with that.

I think it's different values isn't it? We don't view our parents as "guests". They are family and our elders.

And if I were said guest I would insist on you not doing so. I think the more rational solution would be to provide appropriate sleeping space for visitors (sofa bed, fold out bed, or trundle) than to get into scuffles about who has to sleep on an air mattress.

I can’t believe how many people are actually saying they would be ok with this and then deflecting OP’s choice of sofa as if that’s the point of the thread!

As a family who have only recently been able to start to buy new things that haven’t been passed down from FB MP or furniture that family members no longer want there is no way with something as expensive as a new sofa would a big, drooley, stinky dog would be sleeping on it never mind a person using it as bed.

(I HATE dogs on sofas and we have two Labs! both sofa downstairs rooms get closed her at night and if we are out to avoid that happening!)

OP maybe MIL on the be ok for a few nights, but I would 100% dying on the hill about the dog…

As a point of interest for those that think OP is being precious about her brand new sofa, if you were visiting a friend/family and your dog jumped on their sofa, what would you do? Would you just ignore and think everyone would by totally ok with it because you are?!

I agree with this. I totally understand you not wanting a dog sleeping on any sofa, but particularly a light-coloured and expensive one.
So what if it's 'difficult' for you to say the dog must be on the floor? It's your house.
Although in fact your DH needs to do it, since it's his mum.

Why? It's entirely possible they are but there's no reason to expect it.

I wouldn’t wait for a guest to suggest it. I’d do it automatically if I didn’t have a spare bed.

I‘M with you OP but unless this is the cross that you want to die on, be magnanimous: buy a king or super king sized waterproof mattress protector that will engulf the entire sofa, cover with a fitted sheet then the duvet. Buy a dog bed and tell her the sofa is for humans only! Good luck

To buy a new sofa and then worry about possible sagging cushions from people not sitting on it "properly" sounds like absolute lunacy to me! Do you imagine your child is always going to sit up perfectly straight on it throughout their childhood and adolescence?

A sofa is not going to get somehow out of shape because someone lies on it rather than sits upright on it, every now and then. A sofa is for using, not for keeping pristine so you can look at it. I would be concerned about whether you have this (obsessive?) anxiety about appearances elsewhere in your life.

Just buy a waterproof bedsheet (good ones don’t feel plasticky) to cover the sofa under the ordinary bedding when your MIL uses it. That will protect it from any doggy smells or accidents.

Or this.

Sleeping on sofas is what teens do at their pais houses.

I will never sleep on an air bed in my own house, and I would think it was wildly disrespectful for a guest to even suggest that I might.

Perhaps a fold out dog bed to go alongside the sofa?

This!

Get yourselves on a lilo in the living room and let granny have your bed as most would do with guests particularly close family.

I expect mil is 65+.

It sounds like your set up doesn't really work if you have regular guests, whoever they are. I would have a designated sofabed, ideally in an office or dining room. Or living room if that's the only space. With designated storage to include a good mattress protector for it.

There's no way I would be leaving the mattress I spent £3000 on to specifically alleviate my back problems because I'm having guest. Granted, I also would be proviting a better provision for guests than an air mattress (moving the toddler into a single bed with a trundle would be a great option, there's no reason a child needs to be in a cot/cot bed past the baby stage), but I would probably only considermoving out of my bed if someone 65+ was coming to stay and I had no way of providing them with anywhere to sleep, in which case I probably would have them stay in a chain hotel.

Sorry, OP, this was not great decision making on your part (I say your, rather than your DH as he doesn’t mind her sleeping on the sofa).

In your situation with space at a premium and knowing MIL will need to stay over and sleep on the sofa, I would have bought a sofa bed with mattress protector and then cover. It would be adequately sprung and made for the job of occasional sleeping.

Telling your MIL she can no longer sleep on the sofa could cause all manner of offence and rifts, rightly or wrongly - she may see it as she is not good enough to sleep on your precious sofa or that you value inanimate object over her. Not to mention that people get very weird about their dogs, it maybe like rejecting her child!

I think you should have just got a comfortable sofa bed as then guests could stay because the rooms won’t be able to accommodate them.

Just saw someone suggested child sleeping in your room- that’s a really good idea, when we have visitors people move around to accommodate them and give them a room

Fair dues to her for sleeping on a couch in the first place! I’d say this will be an even split, some people will think ‘who cares, it’s difficult enough for her being on a couch’, others will be all about keeping the place spotless. Personally I’d rather have visitors than a pristine couch and if it were my mum (I know it’s not yours), I’d be thinking it’s nice to have her stay over. Basically only you can answer this one

Why don't you get a fold out sofa bed in the kids room and you can move the toddler in with you for the visit?