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AIBU?

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Original poster

To say MIL not sleeping on new sofa when it arrives?

259 replies

Starry4321 · 29/07/2025 08:02

We have 2 bed home with a young toddler (crib her room, no spare bed) so space is tight. When MIL comes to visit (5 hours away) she normally sleeps on sofa with bedding with her dog. It’s a big comfy sofa and she has always stated she prefers that over the blow up bed option we also offer. For the first time in almost a decade we have a new sofa arriving Saturday. It’s a light colour and quite expensive. I said to DH today when MIL comes to visit I think its best we look at some sort of pop up style bed I can set up in living room for her with bedding instead of sleeping on new sofa. Particularly as dog will also be sleeping with her. He got annoyed and said he wants her to sleep on new sofa and said I am over complicating things. MIL even said oh brilliant, new sofa, can’t wait to sleep on it!

I just don’t went the new sofa being ruined basically! More than happy to make an alternative bed a comfy option for her to stay. AIBU?

OP posts:
Manthide · 29/07/2025 18:46

Even if mil or dog don't sleep on the settee it would be difficult to keep the dog off it during the day - if that's his usual place. Suggest washable covers or dog stays at home.

PollyannaNibbs · 29/07/2025 18:42

It was more the sagging seat cushions over time I was worried about as that’s not as easily fixed as a mark

Maybe if it was slept on every night that might become an issue, but a few nights occasionally isn't going to have much effect. I speak from the position of having a mil who sleeps on the sofa.

GiveDogBone · 29/07/2025 18:36

I mean she’s sleeping on it with bedding. How’s she going to ruin it, is she incontinent?

Xmasxrackers · 29/07/2025 18:31

CurlewKate · 29/07/2025 08:14

Could you explain why it is understandable and reasonable?

Show quote history

Because it’s her sofa and her house??

TheTwenties · 29/07/2025 18:27

I wouldn’t be keen either, especially re the dog. Your best bet is a proper sofa cover you can put on when she and the dog visit. Add a mattress protector and a sheet (possibly superking size flat sheet) covering as much as the sofa as possible overnight. That should negate any possibility of smelly dog infiltrating the new sofa.

Jazzyted · 29/07/2025 18:27

It’s your sofa. It’s not unreasonable IF it’s going to make you unhappy for her to sleep on it. It’s a big purchase and one you obviously place a lot of value on.

Lavenderblue11 · 29/07/2025 18:27

I wouldn't want anyone kipping on my sofa either, I'm surprised your MIL is happy to do so. I totally get what you're saying regarding being concerned about it becoming misshapen etc, your DH should understand your concerns and support you with suggesting another option.

Mydadsbirthday · 29/07/2025 18:24

I don't think you can stop this but you can definitely get a decent protective cover or some kind of cheap but functional throw and put it on and make the bedding up before she and the dog arrive.

You might find that the new one is a bit stiff and she doesn't enjoy sleeping on it as much as the old comfy one. In which case she might appreciate the offer for a camp bed etc for next time.

Mirabai · 29/07/2025 18:23

Would a sofa bed not have been the answer?

Mumtobabyhavoc · 29/07/2025 18:20

Deadringer · 29/07/2025 18:01

Jeez just put some sort of protector on it if its so precious. I suppose she has to remove her shoes when she enters your kingdom too?

Why be so snide with the added comment about shoes?
Christ on a bike. 🤦‍♀️

Catherine3436 · 29/07/2025 18:19

There’s just no way I’d have someone sleeping on my sofa full stop.

FluffPiece · 29/07/2025 18:19

What kind of idiot gets a brand new, expensive, pale coloured sofa when they have a toddler? Confused

Mumtobabyhavoc · 29/07/2025 18:18

CeciliaMars · 29/07/2025 18:12

Why didn't you get a sofa bed?

Why would they? 🙄

CeciliaMars · 29/07/2025 18:12

Why didn't you get a sofa bed?

DogMa73 · 29/07/2025 18:08

Apparently we lose 0.5 - 1 litres of fluid per night…
So no, I wouldn’t let anybody sleep on my new expensive sofa either - not without highly protective throws, etc. at the very least !

DearDenimEagle · 29/07/2025 18:04

There are plenty of throws/ covers options as an extra layer between sofa and sleeper plus dog. As for spoiling cushions…I don’t get that…I’ve had various sofas over the years, all slept on at times and unless she’s sleeping there every night, it should not make a difference. And if she is there that often, you should have bought a sofa that accommodates her better.

Deadringer · 29/07/2025 18:01

Jeez just put some sort of protector on it if its so precious. I suppose she has to remove her shoes when she enters your kingdom too?

Figcherry · 29/07/2025 17:57

@Starry4321 I agree.
Sofas are not beds and I don't want sweat on my sofa from someone's body laying on it all night. Add on a dog and the whole scenario is just gross.

PenguinLove1 · 29/07/2025 17:52

Whats your room set up - do you have 2 sofas, or a sofa and armchair? You can get armchairs that convert in to beds, that might be a good option? Or beds that folk in to footstools?

Advocodo · 29/07/2025 17:49

Have you ever tried sleeping on your current sofa? Are you sure it’s comfortable enough for your mother in law? Maybe it’s not and MIL is excited to think new sofa would be much more comfortable.

CindyJane · 29/07/2025 17:44

You sleep on the sofa and MIL shares with OH!!

MascaraGirl · 29/07/2025 17:43

I do wonder if the OP just feels a bit queasy about lounging round on the sofa when someone has been sleeping on it? I totally understand this, which is why LOTS of covers may be the answer

5128gap · 29/07/2025 17:39

Your MiL won't harm your sofa by sleeping on it a couple of nights. If anything, her weight distributed across its length is going to cause less flattening of the cushions than you sitting on it. The dog is a different matter as I'm sure it will greatly prefer the new sofa to either a camp bed or a basket, and will likely sneak on when everyone's asleep regardless. With that in mind it might be best to let them both on the sofa as at least it'll be protected by bedding.
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