To say MIL not sleeping on new sofa when it arrives?

I think you’re being unreasonable. It’s fine to not want a dog on your new sofa - but not to say MIL herself isn’t allowed on the sofa. If you don’t trust her to keep the dog off the furniture, then it goes back to you not wanting the dog on your furniture. So use that as the argument, don’t say you don’t want MIL on the furniture as it comes off as rude. I don’t really think she’s going to do any damage to the cushions, by sleeping on the sofa infrequently. The dog’s bodily fluids/odour etc is a different matter though. If you have a strong argument, don’t muddy it with weak tangential points.

@Starry4321 I completely understand where you are coming from. It is however hard to back track from what you’ve previously been allowing. And I can understand why your husband would find it difficult to now say no to him mum.

What I do think you might be able to implement is no dog(s)/animals on the sofa, whatever time of the day. And then buy a really good mattress protector that you can put over the sofa when she sleeps there. If MiL says the dog has to sleep next to her offer to get a bow up mattress (we have a great self inflating king sized one, good ones are out there for much less then the cost of a new sofa) or you can look into airbnbs near by.

The issue might be getting your husband on side with what your boundary might be. Good luck.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable to not want a dog's anus and your MIL's night sweat all over your new sofa

Haven't RTFT so apologies if I have missed it...but how often does MIL come to stay for it to actually be an issue? Is it a couple of times a week every week, where yeah maybe she'd squash the seat cushions a bit? Or more like once a month? Seeing as she lives 5 hours away I didn't think it would be often enough to have much of an impact.

It sounds like what you need is a sofa bed?!

...and get some throws for your new sofa if it's likely the dog will get on it.

Buy a bed for your toddlers room, your DC will need a bed soon anyway.

Agree, get a large, thick waterproof mattress protector (john Lewis, Dunelm etc sell them) to go underneath a sturdy sofa cover or throw, both of which can be washed after MiL & dog leave

You might want to leave these on long term to keep sofa toddler proof as well!

I doubt infrequent use will cause significant seat sagging but even if they do, you can usually replace foam inners quite cheaply.

Totally not the point of the thread, but you're brave getting a light coloured sofa with two little ones. We desperately need a new sofa but my boys are 3 and 1 and it still feels like too much of a gamble 🤣

Get a cover for it. It’s also quite reasonable to say no dogs on the furniture.

Give the dog a bath!

Well we recently purchased a new big comfy sofa so that we can sleep on it with our elderly dog who can no longer make it upstairs to the bedroom. We have covered it with throws so there’s no damage done. And it’s comfy! Put throws or blankets over it and there’s no issue.

As well as the stretch cover, which another pp has already suggested (vg idea), I'd also invest in a huge dog-blanket to keep over the sofa the whole time MIL's friendly-but-smelly dog is on the premises. "Belt And Braces".

I love (other people's) dogs, especially outside in the park. But dogs smell. I wouldn't want any of my soft-furnishings being imbued with that unmistakable dog-smell. Ew. No.
Make sure everything covering your new sofa can easily be thrown in the washing machine. All should be fine.
You'll need throws & covers to protect your new sofa from toddler-accidents, in any case.

Dribbling

Research sofa covers and get a waterproof one. Useful for sick kids/teens/adults too. You might also look at a cut to size foam topper that could go on it too, to spread any weight further (if you're worried about damaging the cushions). Sell it as extra comfort for MIL and dog, but it's also an additional barrier between the smelly dog and the sofa.

Since you knew she would be coming to stay, why on earth didn't you buy a top of the range sofa bed or a futon? I've got a futon I've had 25 years and when I lived in a one-bedroomed flat, that's where visitors slept. It's short sighted to buy a sofa that isn't designed to be slept on when you have so little space.

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing I am a MiL and dgm and honestly don't mind where I sleep when I visit my family. I am not a young dgm and at 60 still have 7 years to retirement. Both dd1 and dd2 have very comfortable guest rooms but I think its their mils who have been catered for as they know I'm not fussed.

I'm with you OP, no way would I want someone's night sweats and smelly dog odour on my brand new sofa!!

I think in hindsight, you should have just had the seat cushions restuffed and waited until you moved into a bigger house before purchasing a lovely new sofa!

As someone else said, big elasticated cover and I'd add to that be saying possibly a mattress pad that covers the seat and back. My dog wouldn't stay on the floor as she's always slept on my bed, it's not as easy as just saying no dog. We have a waterproof sheet on our sofa, covered by a thick washable blanket as we have wet dogs etc climb onto it and it's lasted well.

Our settee is also regularly slept on and it was bought when dd2 was newborn. Before that we had large floor cushions. Dd2 is 32!

Hi op,

I get it. You have a new thing and you don’t want to share ahah! Honestly I think you will struggle with MIL not sleeping on it because…well…it isn’t your couch that should win against someone. Against the dog, yes.

So compromise, MIL can go on but the dog goes down. With any chance, she will absolutely want to sleep with dog and then you can both put them somewhere else.

Get a king size mattress protector and put it on the sofa. If mum’s in the room, the dog will be on the sofa so protect it.

Screw that! No way would I let a stinky dog on a new sofa

MIL - ok to sleep on sofa with covers/throws

Dog - Ugh no way ever ever ever would I have a dog anywhere near my sofa, and it's not a new one either. Good lord, the hairs, the smells, the farts, the dribbles (that's also from the MIL lol, but she's human!). Dog a big fat no.

Maybe others are ok with it, and maybe you are too OP, but the thought of dog on my sofa makes me want to boak.

Me, I did 😂 I had very romantic, unrealistic ideas of what parenthood and family life would look like - which actually having a family (followed by partner walking out) soon remedied! That sofa was a wreck within a couple of years, and never mind people sweating into it, the number of times my offspring peed on it was horrendous 🤢