To say MIL not sleeping on new sofa when it arrives?

A person lying in the sofa to sleep will have their weight distributed more evenly than someone sitting on it. It’s the sitting that will distort the shape of the cushions eventually, inevitable with all sofas, not the occasional lying.

Just buy a good cover for it to protect it from the dog. Your toddler is more likely to damage it than your mum in law. Though I really don’t understand why you’re not buying a sofa bed. A sofa your MIL can’t sleep on is not really fit for purpose given your situation.

YABU

It’s a sofa. Your MIL won’t ruin it. Your toddler will.

My 4 year old threw up on my sofa last week. It will get damaged whether you like it or not.

I have my own dogs (and often other people's dogs too) and a newish sofa. I bought a washable, waterproof throw for it and that keeps it free from dog smells. Unless your MiL is hugely obese, she's highly unlikely to cause any damage to the sofa by sleeping on it.

They have a 2 bed home with a young toddler. No spare bed. Crib in her room.

Could she sleep on one of the kids beds while the kids double up or one sleeps of them sleeps on the floor? My kids have slept on the floor at the end of our bed or doubled up for visitors or on holidays all their lives. You couldn’t do it for a week but a night here or there absolutely.

The sofa we got when we got married 21 years ago has just been replaced due to a large saggy indent where DH sat. Nothing to do with sleeping on it.
Get a throw or mattress topper for when the dog sleeps on it. Wash it, job done.

I think you are being unreasonable. I would not sleep on a blow up mattress as it would hurt my back. Why don't you get a topper for the sofa for when she is staying? You can get thick tempur ones which just lay over the top for eg
Is it a sofa bed? Or does she just sleep on the sofa as if it were a single bed?

My sister has some stretchy covers that go over hers - would something like that work for when she (&dog!) are visiting?

Yeah as pp has said just buy a big cover. With regards to what youre saying about ruining the shape having someone sleep on it, i dont think thats relevant unless its constant.

How often does she stay?

I think it’s fine to not want them to sleep on your new sofa!

Although if we didn’t have a bed for guests we would sleep on a blow up bed in the front room and give the guest our room, especially if they had come so far (maybe not the dog though!).

I’m struggling to understand why the sofa will be more affected by your MIL’s head than by your own arse.

That said, I understand the sentiment. I just don’t think there is any logic behind it.

Maybe it’s more the dog that’s the issue.

Well I was always given to belive that sleeping on the sofa wasnt good for it because it led to the seat cushions getting misshapen -because of the way the body imprints on them in a totally different way from sitting on them. I dont know if it's true or just another myth from my rule filled childhood: sofas are for sitting on not lying on or jumping on or playing on.

And to me getting a new sofa is a big deal and I can understand OP not wanting it to get marked or stained. And wanting it to look " new" for as long as possible. Again my experience from the past would be a new sofa having a throw on it to protect it for every day use and the throw being taken off when visitors were expected.

It's very hard to release oneself from the habits and beliefs instilled when you were brought up in a strict household where money was pretty tight.

MIL will be fine. Sleeping on it should cause less damage than sitting, because the weight isn't all in one place. But if the dog is smelly/hairy/slobbery then no. I love dogs but they wreck furniture if you let them on it. If MIL thinks this is unreasonable that's her problem, not yours. The dog does need a bed though, so if MIL can't bring one because of public transport etc, then you need to ask what sort of bed should be bought for the dog. Whether you pay or she does is tricky, but in this case offering to pay would be a good way to smooth the way and resolve the problem amicably.

Just put a blanket or something over it when the dog comes - your rule about nobody sleeping on it is a bit silly though!

Fwiw OP, our "sticky toddler" ate in the kitchen, washed hands and played worh sticky toys at the table woth a supervising adult. We also had cosy blankets at the ready incase we'd been out somewhere messy like the woods and we taught DC to sit nicely on the sofa, not jump or throw themselves onto it. It's really not that hard to teach kids and have nice things so don't be too worried by other peoples worries vs other people's loved experience of it being fine if you take the right steps.

Tell DH to let his mum know the dog smells can you bathe him before he comes please.

Buy sofa covers and fit before they arrive.

problems solved.

Got a new, light sofa at the weekend and dh slept on it last night and I felt the same but made him put a single mattress topper down and sheet over the whole thing. It looks absolutely fine today. I'm more concerned about my bastard cat I caught trying to claw it yesterday. I'd keep a throw over it anyway due to your toddler and her dog when it comes.

I was just going to post this !, a big thick mattress protector thing that can go over for mil to sleep on or even a yoga mat to go over the cushions? Also I would get a couple of nice throws to put on when dog is visiting especially but even for day to day life with a toddler will help. Also make sure you ban all food and drink on the sofa with the toddler, I bought mine a little matching chair or his own and a little table which meant he didn’t really use the new sofa so much

Perhaps tell DH that you can either book her a hotel until you've both agreed a way forward or cancel the sofa. Noone should override anyone else on how the sofa is used.

You've got a toddler. Believe me,that sofa is not going to be pristine for long! It'll be fine for a couple of nights with your MIL.

This!

My cat has clawed my sofa and my one year old already got jam over it. Yes it did cost quite a bit but it’s a materialistic possession that I have no attachment too. My MIL can happily sleep on it in comfort if she wished, even with a dog ( as long as it slept on a cover 😂😂)

Smelly dog is a definite no. Although the sofa cover suggested earlier might help with that.

I don’t think the cushions are going to be damaged by an occasional sleepover. Weight is distributed more than when it’s being sat on.

You are setting yourself up for a whole world of stress with a fancy light coloured sofa and a toddler. Even with the faffy cleaning policies, it sounds like a complication you could do without. How often does MIL stay?