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Original poster

Anyone awake to help me with this awful dilemma regarding poorly cat?

62 replies

pinotnow · 29/07/2025 05:02

I do have another thread. I am in pieces and don't know what to do. Previously healthy 10 year old cat became very sick with panting and lethargy yesterday evening. Just heard from the emergency vet who admitted him that he has lots of masses and consolidation on his lungs, pneumonia and the prognosis is guarded. Pts was mentioned yesterday as soon as I took him in but I wanted some tests, of course.

I am supposed to pick him up at around 7.30 to take him straight to my normal vet for referrals, maybe to be admitted there etc. I am supposed to be at work. I'm a teacher and it's my last day, so looks ridiculous to be off as we have all moaned about breaking up so late. I'm also in a senior role with colleagues I am close to finishing and I have the gifts here with me still. Work is half an hour away and we finish at 1. If the vet seems me straight away I suppose I can be there for 10ish, but that's an if. And I'll be in trouble with the head.

I'm going on holiday with my two dc for 2 weeks today to USA - flight tomorrow from SE so we leave tonight for overnight airport hotel. Absolutely can't cancel - would lose pretty much all of the money and massively disappoint dc, one of whom is not an animal lover.

There is no one close to me to deal with this in my absence. Mum is 3 hours away, friends - no one close enough to deal with this. Ex has agreed to look after the poorly cat (normally just use a cat sitter) for ds's sake, but he's not an animal lover. The thought of trying to deal with this long distance and him making costly health decisions about my cat from across the Atlantic makes me feel sick.

I just don't know what to do. I can't deal with this. Please help.

OP posts:
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KeenGreen · 29/07/2025 22:46

I’m so sorry OP,

Having been in very similar heartbreaking decisions for my cats I want to say, you did the right thing.

You gave him a wonderful life, and did the right thing by him in the end.
It’s such a difficult decision in the end and we want them around for as long as possible, but ultimately you have to do the selfless thing, which you did.

💐

legosnowqueen · 29/07/2025 22:39

Very sorry for your loss, agree that you made the kindest decision for your lovely boy.

elessar · 29/07/2025 22:24

Oh bless him. You did the kindest thing and as much as you will grieve his loss, you can be at peace knowing there were no other viable options and you did the right thing for him.

LoLotheYoYo · 29/07/2025 21:00

Just waking up on the other side of the world. So sorry for your loss @pinotnow. You made the right decison for your lovely fellow. It's so hard but it's part of the privilege of having them in our lives. Godspeed ginga boy, hugs to you and the kiddo xx

Tinytimmy123 · 29/07/2025 17:46

Virtual hug sent to you from me.x

ilovesooty · 29/07/2025 13:26

pinotnow · 29/07/2025 11:02

Well, he has gone. DS2, massive cat lover, decided not to come so it was just me. He had to be in an oxygen tent for me to say goodbye, though he did come out briefly, so not really sure how he could have moved to another vet. He wasn't himself, even medicated, and I think it was the right decision.

It's horrible, though. I feel awful. He was such a big character and more like a dog. I just can't believe he's gone.

You've done the right thing and were there for him at the end. It's all we can do for our much loved cats when the time comes.

BernardButlersBra · 29/07/2025 13:17

So sorry to hear this. Thinking of you all

I think you did completely the right thing -in those circumstances it's what l would have done.

Words · 29/07/2025 13:14

So very sorry op. You did the right thing. My beloved boy was more dog than cat too. Grief is the price we pay for love x

Squidgemoon · 29/07/2025 13:06

So sorry OP. It is the kindest choice.
When it happened to me, the holiday straight afterwards was a blessing really as it provided good distraction from the sadness.

Inthebathagain · 29/07/2025 13:03

So sorry for your loss.

You did the right thing, as painful as it feels now.

I hope you're able to enjoy your hols once you move past the shock of today.

Sending you hugs

Dodie66 · 29/07/2025 11:37

So sorry . You’ve done the right thing for him. Also you would have worried a lot while you were away. Sending big hugs x

FluffMagnet · 29/07/2025 11:36

I'm so sorry for your loss OP, but take comfort in the fact you acted in his best interests to save him further pain and suffering. Cats ability to mask pain is extraordinary, and thankfully he was able to let you know whilst you were still at home. Take care of yourselves.

TwinklingPotato · 29/07/2025 11:32

Sending you the biggest hugs possible, I am so, so sorry for your loss xx

Portions · 29/07/2025 11:12

You've done the right thing for him.

Remember the pain you're feeling now is so that he doesn't have to suffer.

Original poster
pinotnow · 29/07/2025 11:02

Well, he has gone. DS2, massive cat lover, decided not to come so it was just me. He had to be in an oxygen tent for me to say goodbye, though he did come out briefly, so not really sure how he could have moved to another vet. He wasn't himself, even medicated, and I think it was the right decision.

It's horrible, though. I feel awful. He was such a big character and more like a dog. I just can't believe he's gone.

OP posts:
Swiftie1878 · 29/07/2025 09:31

Sending hugs 🩵🩵🩵

HideousKinky · 29/07/2025 08:57

I am reading this because we are facing something similar.

My 13-year-old cat was admitted for dental treatment yesterday but has been discovered to have a large mass under his tongue and thickening in his jaw bone. Vet took a biopsy and the results are expected end of the week but she has made it clear she thinks it will be cancer in the jaw. She said the whole jaw is already unstable.

We are meant to be going on holiday for 3 weeks in mid-August. I love him so much and want to be here with him if these are the last weeks of his life. I do not know yet what the vet will recommend in terms of a time frame, but I feel certain she will recommend he is PTS because she said he was in quite a lot of pain and has prescribed 2 different pain killers.

Sorry OP, I don't mean to hijack your thread and I am so sorry for your dilemma

Roserunner · 29/07/2025 08:37

We had this last year when we were due to go away, only in the UK so we could postpone easily. She went downhill so quickly it was really shocking. The vets called us with her results and said anything they could do would only make her a bit more comfortable for a few more weeks so kinder to have her PTS. We had agreed for the next day so we spent one more night with her but she went downhill so quickly that we decided it was best not to prolong it. She was only 11 and had seemed perfectly healthy up until that point.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. If the vet has mentioned PTS then it's the right thing to do.

Aoppley · 29/07/2025 08:21

So sorry for your loss, OP. Same thing happened to one of mine when she was 6 and the vet was adamant she should be pts without further testing as that was the kinder thing to do. All the best

nutbrownhare15 · 29/07/2025 08:12

As someone who spent time and money trying to get my two cats better after poor prognoses I would definitely opt for euthanasia today. Ultimately they suffered more than they needed to. I'm sorry.

SouthernNights59 · 29/07/2025 08:06

I'm so sorry OP, but I think you've made the right decision. Having lost 5 cats in under 4 years, 3 of them within 16 months, I know what it's like. Cats mask and don't show symptoms until they are really sick. At least you will be there to say goodbye and show him how loved he is. 💐

boredwfh · 29/07/2025 07:29

I had this issue a few days before we were due to go on holiday, like you I didn’t want to let go but my vet said even if we had tests there was nothing they could do. It was better to PTS before we went away surrounded by us rather than a stranger whilst we were away. I’m afraid I’d be inclined to pts before you go. I’m so sorry. By time cats start to show symptoms it’s often too late cos they do mask pain well.

fourelementary · 29/07/2025 07:26

@pinotnow Definitely the kinder thing to have him PTS with you there and minimal moving around etc as that’s all v stressful for the poor guy. Take your son and if he needs to kiss his last day at school could his dad have him for a bit? It’s very hard to watch a loved one die, even if it is a pet. i wonder if someone could help while you are away by tidying away your cat things… and that you manage to enjoy your holiday despite this sad day.

Tinytimmy123 · 29/07/2025 07:21

This is always a tough decision but all things considered it is kinder to pts. Thinking of you all💔

Astrak · 29/07/2025 07:20

I'm sorry that your cat is so unwell. I think that the decision to pts now is a sensible one. Better a day too early than a minute too late. Be with him if you possibly can.

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