AIBU to tire of moral superiority around meals?

I agree - fish fingers are my convenience food of choice!

as for
It’s not just time and energy, but it’s also mental load. If you don’t ever struggle then genuinely, good for you. But many of us do sometimes, and there’s no shame in a healthy diet that’s propped up by convenience food occasionally.

When I was ‘in the trenches’ (small kids, working full time) I had a 2-week menu on rotation, with ready printed shopping list. Zero thinking involved - first week Thursday, so it’s chilli con carne with rice and salad; second week Monday, salmon, potatoes and broccoli, et cetera.

The menu and the list would be tweaked every now and again if and when we got bored with a dish, or when I discovered a new dish to try out.

But yes, occasional convenience food is fine. In fact, I’m actually more concerned about the amount of crisps and sweets children (including, sadly, my granddaughter) seem to consume as ‘snacks’, and the lack of fruit and vegetables in their diets.

My local Chinese do a delicious mushroom omelette (loads of mushrooms) with chips and peas. I microwave a halved tomato to go with it and that will do me for two meals. A nice treat I don't have to cook, and not too hideous nutritionally .

I've seen all of it. I have always cooked from scratch and, as for spending time with kids, they loving cooking with me from very young.

My older kids weren't fussy at all, easy. The next two are arfid kids and, if it gives parents hope who are going through this, it does get easier when they start cooking for themselves. My two arfid kids do now cook for themselves. They do know fruit and veges are important so find ways to work it in that works for them. Their diets have never been what I'd prefer, still aren't, but it has got a lot better as they've got older and found their own ways.

That doesn't stop me cooking from scratch and growing some of my own for the rest of the family though. Just as my arfid kids (now adults) get to make their own choices, so do I.

I really don't care one bit what other people feed their families. Not my life, not my health. I just know what makes me feel better. For me, it's especially worth it as my diet allows me to manage my IBD without the need for medications. For no other reason even, that makes it worth the effort.

@SpidersAreShitheads but ultra-processed foods absolutely do serious harm. Fish fingers, incidentally, are just about the healthiest convenience food you can buy. That ready- made lasagna, though, not so much.

I can't say I've ever noticed any 'moral superiority' around meals. And why worry what others think anyway? It's none of their business.

I cook from scratch 6 nights a week for three reasons

• ready meals are stupidly expensive and I'm on a budget
• there are no takeaways nearby so it's quicker to cook
• I can make better food than I can buy. It only takes a few minutes to make a good omelette or pan-fry some hake.

I can't claim moral superiority. Ds has shop pizza & garlic bread on Friday nights, and I've got oven chips and shop sausage rolls as a back up, in the freezer just like everyone else.

I love cooking from scratch and I enjoy cooking for my family. I have two autistic DC but thankfully we’re now at a point where they’ll eat a decent range of food, albeit they won’t try anything new/anything that looks/smells different.

However I do think lots of comments on this thread are missing the point. Yes, there are plenty of simple recipes - but you need to a) have the ingredients in the house and b) have the mental headspace to conjure them up.

If you’re knackered/rushed/stressed, sometimes you just don’t have the time or mental clarity to throw together a filling, nutritious meal.

So many “quick meals” cited on this thread involve fresh ingredients and then chopping, prepping, and then standing to cook. That’s not a quick meal 😂

Chucking some fishfingers in the oven or even….shock….a ready-made lasagne means you don’t have to think, nor stand and cook.

Nutrition is very important but taking a short-cut now and again won’t do serious harm.

It’s not just time and energy, but it’s also mental load. If you don’t ever struggle then genuinely, good for you. But many of us do sometimes, and there’s no shame in a healthy diet that’s propped up by convenience food occasionally.

@Evergreen21 There's nothing wrong with an omelette!

It’s quicker to cook a fresh meal than it is to order takeaway and wait for it to be delivered, and a fraction of the price. Get everyone involved in choosing the meal, going shopping, and cook it together. We do this after work with the kids helping with the cooking / laying table etc. as appropriate for their ages. Could also prep / chop fruit / veggies at the weekend in advance when everyone has more time.

Yes, agreed. Nobody is perfect, but stomach and colon cancers in young people are at unprecedented levels and it is thought that this could partly be due to a childhood diet thst is high in ultra processed foods. I wouldn't comment on what individual people feed their children. I just don't think that a diet heavily based on crappy food is going to do children any good.

Because treating housing as a mere product (rather than a basic need) has meant that housing is unaffordable, so more parents are working full time. It's very hard to cook nutritious meals when you aren't home till after 6 every day.

Food advertising also plays a part.

@Spinmerightroundbaby Are you sure they're snooty attitudes? Are they not just people with different opinions to yours?

It's all relative I think. Often on here you have people mentioning giving their kids omelette or picky bits for their dinner whereas I never would. However, whilst I mostly cook from scratch I often make meals that the kids can have the next day too particularly if I'm working. Some people wouldn't ever feed their kids or themselves leftovers and so would likely judge that.

I do think there is a lot of information readily available on what constitutes a balanced diet and it is more accessible than ever.

Don’t care what other people do but can’t understand people spending a bomb on crap to jeapordise their health. No fussy eaters here thank goodness (or my old fashioned mindset not to have any messing and us to enjoy pleasant mealtimes from the word go and fortunately no allergies). I cook from scratch (ie chop stuff and bung it together nothing complicated!) so maybe Italian/ Indian three or four times a week stuff that will do twice so roast chicken, salmon, something mince based, pasta rice and spuds eggs, loads of veg, salad and fruit for dessert maybe homemade cake at the weekends. Take away every couple of months as it costs a bomb. I am a M&S meat yellow sticker fiend and save the money towards holidays.

So many people are overweight/obese leading to health problems and the UK is a country where too many people eat processed foods, so we need to deal with those two things. Very occasionally eaten, ready meals or a takeaway aren’t going to affect health long-term but it’s things like giving kids sweets straight out of school (like at the gates), pot noodles instead of a decent lunch, chocolate instead of a piece of fruit. I’d never say anything to anyone, it’s not my business, but I find that people seem to want others to validate their poor choices and get annoyed when they don’t. Just like, if I have let my children game for too long because I want a quiet life and my friend has taken hers out for a long walk, I might feel irritated with her but that’s because of my guilt and it’s my problem. But I also think there are people who genuinely don’t know how to cook from scratch and what’s nutritional etc and then I don’t judge even in my head ❤️ Community cooking classes, kids learning recipes at school and other measures would help imo.

Everything’s relative. My youngest has severe OCD and I would jump for joy if he ate ready meals. All he eats are pretzels, chocolate, buttered baguette and the odd bowl of homemade spaghetti bolognese. He occasionally asks for a takeaway, like chicken strips or a burger. But that’s pretty rare. The rest of us eat a mixture of homemade food and convenience food. DP doesn’t eat meat. DS1 has autism and has problems with the texture of certain things, like potatoes and rice and anything sloppy/saucy like stews or casseroles. Honestly, I just try to get through the day as best I can. If I cook something all of us can eat without major individually tailored adjustments, I need a fecking lie down afterwards to recover from the shock. The only person in the house who eats pretty much anything is me.

Yeah I think there's a happy medium really

We rarely eat out (due to cost and access to decent takeaways) but do have freezer food/Nutella

I think as long as there's plenty of fruit and veg in there you're usually ok

What’s so obvious is that the ‘from scratch’, preachy food obsessives dislike the enjoyment of food as much as the horribly unadventurous who live on fry-ups and cornflakes.

You couldn’t be more wrong. I cook from scratch precisely because I love food. In fact, you couldn’t pay me enough to eat processed cr@p unless there is nothing else available.

The OP thinks that patents who prioritise good nutrition are doing it to 'look good' to others. I really doubt this.

I generally cooked from scratch for my DS when he was young, and no one knew that my pasta sauce was made with sauted veggies and a tin of tomatoes rather than a jar of Dolmio. Nobody other than DS and I knew what was in it.

I do know that it's quite possible to cook decent food for your kids and also play with them.

I don’t have DC but I do a mix. Mostly home cooked stuff, some lazy food like hash browns with a fried egg and beans and (health issues) on a bad day I resort to a protein shake or just skip tea altogether

do wish I could eat chicken again as it was such a quick meal and so many nice recipes with it
I’m not fussed over what my seasonings or tinned tomatoes might have in, my budget is Aldi and that’s it

Lol this. My 7 year old will look at his dinner and say nope without even trying it. If I do homemade food it's 50/50 he will eat it, soups stew etc. Made him jacket potato and tuna last week, usually loves it but nope. Had to get the tuna out and put it on a wrap 😂

YANBU - as you say there should be a balance, and the odd deviation from healthy food doesn’t hurt.

However, this seems to be an online-only debate. I remember once (many years ago) posting about occasionally resorting to freezer food, as a single parent working full-time, and having hundreds of strangers shoot me down and basically say “who does that?! No-one keeps FOOD in their FREEZER!!!”

In real life, I have never known anyone give a crap about what anyone else eats, much less be all judgy about it.

Well, there are two separate issues here, I think.

One is what is the best way to eat. Of course we all probably know that fresh is best, low fat whole foods with lots of fresh vegetables and fruits. From there, people do what they can afford or have time for or desire or enjoy. All of which vary from home to home.

But the other issue is snobbery, one-upmanship, bragging about it all. I'm sure we all know that when we see it, especially when it's directed at us.

OP, I don't think that ever ends for some people. There are endless topics they can feel superior to others about. They elevate themselves by putting someone else down.

I really dislike people who want to compete instead of befriend. So, for me, when they do that kind of crap it lets me know they need to be downgraded as a friend or not befriended in the first place. It's not nice.

Of course, it's different when it's a close friend or family member who gets after you now and then for your own good.

There’s some terrible old crap talked about food on here, and among certain sections of the population generally.

It seems impossible to stamp out the utter garbage of zealous ‘healthy’, ‘nutritious’ and ‘wholesome’ eating. The simple truth is that a person would have to be a very extreme consumer of just a few types of food to do any long-term harm. Frozen peas, sliced white bread, ready meals, KFC etc etc will not do any harm.

What’s so obvious is that the ‘from scratch’, preachy food obsessives dislike the enjoyment of food as much as the horribly unadventurous who live on fry-ups and cornflakes.

Just eat a varied diet and enjoy food. Don’t shun things because someone’s written a scaremongering article or book about food.

Hundred percent agree OP , as a disabled working single parent I do the best I can and sometimes that isn’t the best food or cooking. Two autistic kids too, one who has arfid so I would never get it right even if I home cooked from scratch every meal
ableist and superior attitudes are shocking in these so called enlightened times , especially more so when the snobbery comes from women

Oh yes, love Thai, but there isn’t one near us. I occasionally dabble in Thai cuisine - simple green curry or spring rolls. I keep meaning to learn to make proper Thai curries and other dishes…