Should his girlfriend pay rent?

My child is in a position where she could buy a house, and has considered it, but ultimately decided against it, preferring to wait until she and her boyfriend are in a more equal position. She lives at home, so she doesn't have to weigh up the benefits of a mortgage vs renting. She can leave her money in a savings account to build up interest instead.

When she asked for my advice on how buying a house with someone who has considerably less capital than her should work, I told her the same as I am saying on here. Either, he goes on the mortgage, they both pay towards it, and have a legal agreement drawn up to reflect who receives what based on how much they have each invested - e.g if she paid £100,000 deposit but 0% of the mortgage, if the house sold she would get £100,000 back, he would get 100% of the equity up to the price they paid for the house, any profit should be split equally. Or, she can buy it in her name, outright or with a mortgage, and he either doesn't move in or pays only 50% of the bills and groceries, and she pays 100% of the mortgage and/or home improvements/maintenance because it is 100% her asset.

I pointed out the effect it might have on their relationship if she asked him to pay her mortgage without any rights to the property.

My dc was in a similar situation. dc had a deposit and mortgage for a flat (finances were very, very tight). Their partner had no cash and a little (student related) debt.

dc paid mortgage, was the only person on the title deeds, had solicitor agreed arrangement about the property rights/ownership.

dc's partner paid 50% of all bills (utilities, food, council tax). That sharing of bills made a very tight financial situation a little bit easier for dc.

The 'rent' amount that dc's partner would have paid previously, or might have paid to my dc, was paid into a joint bank account. They chose to use their joint savings to pay off the student debt. Thereafter they had a joint savings account.

They are still together. But if they split up the partner would get 50% of the joint savings account.

Also dc's partner could save their own money (50% of bills and a rent equivalent were much less than their income).

How is paying his own mortgage financially supporting her? He doesn't have to ask her to move in with him.

She wouldn't be paying her own way; she would be buying her boyfriend a very valuable, long-term investment.

Yes. If she doesn’t want to trade some security for cheaper rent than she’d be paying elsewhere then she doesn’t have to move in. She can live elsewhere - he’s not kidnapping her.

She has the same security as lodgers have. Why should he financially support her just because she’s his girlfriend if you think it’s so abhorrent that she should pay her way just because he’s her boyfriend?

But you are entitled to profit from someone you supposedly love? And to put their security and financial future at risk by inviting them to live with you, while charging them rent but not offering any of the usual legal protections that come with that?

Normally if you rent from a landlord you get the whole property/ tenancy agreement etc. and within reason you can mostly do as you choose without having to consult them (might be some rules around pets / decorating but you agree to those when you sign the contract).

Alternatively you might be a lodger, in which case you probably pay a lot less, for less rights, but still get your own room, bills are likely included, use of some shared facilities and spaces.

It's unusual to rent half a bed, not sure how you'd work out the going rate for that.

Yes, everyone else in the world is unreasonable and you’re the only one who isn’t… have you considered for a single second that having the potential to impregnate someone doesn’t mean they’re entitled to your house, money and pension?

I think he should marry her. But with a good prenup that follows all the UK guidelines so she can't just "clean him out".

I wondered why British men are so selfish. I see now why. The mothers

She needs a claim on the house,b on his money, pension all that. He can impregnate her

What a ridiculous opinion. He should be marrying her, not using her for sex and money also.

If he can't afford it on his own but isn't ready to buy with someone else then this is not the house for him..or its not the right time

Many people buy houses together with the equity/mortgage split all legally sorted before hand and then if they split up they sell or but each other out its very common...

When i moved into my bf flat he owned/was buying when we met.. I paid my share of the bills/living expenses thats all... We got engaged whilst there and would have bought somewhere together if got married/needed something bigger. .
As it was we split up... No surprise we were in our 20s v common but
Also nice and easy ... Split the joint bills account and done..

I would suggest he buys somewhere he can afford on his own...

Agreed!

agree she should pay rent- but take legal advice to make sure it’s seen as a rent payment and also provides her with some protection so she can’t immediately be kicked out.

sounds like they are young and in the early stages of a relationship.

People have said he is profiting from a partner charging her rent but she is also profiting from not paying rent (which she currently is)

if he were to buy it and live separately vs having his gf live there rent free, he would be in exactly the same situation if they broke up in 5 years time. The gf, however, would be 5 years of rent better off if they split up in 5 years time and she had saved it.

a fairer way would be to halve the amount of rent she is currently paying e.g she currently pays £600 per month and pays your son £300 per month and then saves £300 per month in her own name. This means they are equally the same amount better off should they split up in the future.

the other comments are red herrings
e.g if they split up she would have contributed to someone else’s mortgage and got nothing- same as renting
romantic partner not a lodger- but it doesn’t sound like they are at the point of being serious enough if they have already broken up in the last year

alot of people still think it’s the 50s and people should get married before living together or living together automatically means you are ready to get married/serious.

I say this as someone who has been in this position and also have a daughter.

most important thing is to take legal advice to confirm the rent.

Well if they break up it would be his as it was ‘rent’?

What does your son want? Does he want sole ownership? Or would he preferred they purchased together? If the latter, then suggest he changes the plan to buy it together. If the former, you need to stop, as encouraging she pay rent may give her a legal claim on the property, should they split.

Personally I never paid my boyfriend - now husband - rent. I paid half the other bills but it wasn’t my job to contribute to his asset. And he ring fenced it with a prenup when we married.

I’m not a tenant I’m a partner.

No, she would be the main beneficiary because if they split up she’d own a house and he’d be homeless. All of his rent money is lost to her, and all of her money is being retained by her in an asset.

Agree. Especially given they split briefly last year.

If she wasn't there he'd have to fund the house himself or get a lodger. The lodger would have their own space and not share a room. To expect her to pay like a lodger isn't the same really is it?

She should share all household costs. He will benefit from sharing those bills

I think she is vulnerable not having any home that she is financially invested in. Whilst you regard this as a massive plus for her, I feel its a terrible position. Different perspectives. As the mum of a daughter in this position I really wish she wasn't. I'd like her to be finding her own property not investing time and money into someone else's

She likes the house and is pushing him to buy it and live there for free? The house which will stretch HIM financially?

I'd definitely not put her on the mortgage and not buy the house she wants but the one he wants.

They're not married.

Okay, that's fine, but then he shouldn't be moving her into his house then if he's not going marry her.

He can't take out a mortgage. Have her live in it and pay towards his asset and leave her with nothing. She also needs to safeguard her future so that she doesn't end up paying half of someone else's mortgage with nothing for herself.

I would ask her for half of the utility bills in the council tax and the food bill and leave it that. He pays 100% of the mortgage. And she gets to save money to towards her own home

If he does decide to marry her things, change and she gets put on the house deeds.

How is equality misogynistic? 😂😂😂😂

If a man doesn’t pay for a woman because he loves her then that misogyny to you? If she loves him, why doesn’t she pay for him? Oh, because anything where women aren’t “winning” is offensive to you? 😂😂😂🙄

50% of relationships fail there not married so it’s entirely sensible to protect yourself