To not see the practical point of getting married?

Agree with PPs, it's like any other contract or insurance - you only need it when something goes wrong, and trying to deal with the fall out when you are also trying to deal with something going wrong is hugely stressful.

I have seen it happen, I've seen people whose partner dies unexpectedly and who have to sell up their forever home, a home they have lived in with their partner for decades and that they have made together because they didn't think there was any point getting married.

I have seen partners kept away from their partners death bed by family, even if they have been together for 50 years or more. That's why they brought in CP for same sex relationships, because this did happen.

Honestly don't have a baby unless you married if you can. When things go wrong being married makes a huge difference. I've had so many friends who lost our because they won't married. If you don't have children it's less of a risk to not be married.... On a separate note my aunt and uncle got married quickly in their late 50s after 20 years together as my uncle sadly had terminal cancer.... honestly nok makes such a difference.

Yes you could spend money on multiple contracts and legal documents to recreate the benefit of one single legal document - that of marriage/civil partnership

You need to do some proper research OP.

Marriage/CP offer significant legal protections, both practical and financial.

My mother’s friend thought as you did until her partner suffered a serious head injury. All medical decisions (despite them being together 20 year plus) were taken by his NOK (brother in this case) with whom they had both had a very fractious relationship.

It came close to a decision to withdraw life support, which his brother was in favour of. Thankfully he made a partial recovery, enough to have mental capacity to make his own decisions - one of which was getting married.

You’re conflating marriage with a wedding.

Marriage is you and the father of your child setting up a business to raise a child. It’s not romantic, but it is incredibly practical. It’s an easy and cheap shortcut to all the paperwork that you can cobble together in other, much more expensive ways that say that you want to protect me another if things go badly.

When you have a child, you never know what is going to happen. It’s the biggest gamble we take in life. Suddenly you can go from having two good jobs to needing a parent who can be a caregiver even if you both wanted to continue to work.

you don’t need to have a big wedding. Just go fill out the forms. DH and I had a small wedding for family, but for our legal wedding we literally did it on our lunch break from work. It was about as exciting as going to get a building permit.

I’m sure you can get round to with trusts, contracts, wills etc (though I think inheritance tax would always bite) but in reality marriage or civil partnership is just much more straightforward.

And that’s what it is - a contract. But just one binding contract to cover everything.

It gives you both financial security.

Go for civil partnership if you dislike the idea of marriage.

Marriage doesn’t have to be anti feminist. As an institution it may have had those origins, but it’s also changed immensely as an institution since its origins: you no longer have to be heterosexual; it no longer has to involve religion; it no longer has to last forever, and you no longer need any reason beyond “I don’t want to be married anymore” for it to not last forever.

Yes, you can emulate many of the legal benefits of marriage through things like wills, POA, agreements around property etc, but marriage fixes a lot of that paperwork in one step.

Legal marriage is ultimately about property and tax, anything else is window dressing. A weekday Civil Partnership is really cheap and straight forward. You may have a higher level of property and savings now but you don’t know what they future holds and if you intend to have a child and ensure you are both equal partners then a CP makes sense. Having said all that I can understand why people don’t do it but also I’ve seen too many people absolutely reeling from the effects of not having any legal status when one partner dies or is seriously ill in hospital. How do you get on with each others parents? This is the main reason my partner and I got married. Neither of us could bear the thought of the, having any input about one of us in the event of serious illness, funerals and so on, as if you arnt married it will be your nearest living relative that can pull rank legally if it got to that. Really the law needs to change to either recognise co habitation or deal with with assets in a better way like in other countries. But yes good point about gay marriage. It was never just about the wedding, it was about being legally recognised at crisis parts of life as much as anything. Plus tax is a massive one. You get hammered if you arnt married. Yes you can legal your way around it but it’s expensive. As any lawyer and they will tell you it’s the cheapest most effective way to ensure your money doesn’t go to the state on death.

This, you never know what is round the corner for either of you. This was me, working full time, happily married and wham, life changing medical diagnosis, horrendous ill health and I haven't worked for 20 years plus. I know that I am protected legally to monies I did not earn, ie Dh's generous work pension pot.

Also see many posts on here including today asking about a pension where her Dh out earns her. She can only work part time due to having children with disabilities. You have to be prepared for the curve ball, the plot twist. Being married makes thing far more easier. There are lots of deathbed marriages, IHT is one reason.

You don't need a huge wedding, a one day party. We spent very little on ours, our honeymoon cost more because we wanted a lovely holiday.

Just ask any solicitor. If something happens to either of you, your estate goes to your spouse, not siblings, parents etc. You are not the legal next of kin, so if he was in a coma, his family could step in and direct his medical care, and if he died, organise the funeral and exclude you. It is for your protection.

I agree with the view that it’s meaningless until everything goes wrong. Then it becomes very meaningful.

If you don’t do it I would take independent legal advice to ensure you’re as protected as possible if that happens, particularly if you’re planning a family.

On the expense and stress front, getting married can cost a few hundred quid, so that’s not really a reason not to do it.

And it’s as feminist or anti-feminist as you make it. I know a lot of unmarried couples who aren’t in what I would describe as “feminist” relationships.

Marriage is a business contract, a very sensible one and probably the most important and impactful one you'll ever sign. I don't see how that can be anti feminist. It's not just about you either, it protects any children you may have - which you could say is actually pro-feminist.

Marriage is a legal & financial agreement which would protect both parties re split/inheritance/medical nok/tax advantages etc.

the marriage can be signed & sealed in a short trip to a registry office in jeans & tshirt. Probably need a couple of witnesses.

weddings are the PR side of marriage- up to you if you want to go down that route or not.

A lot can happen in a lifetime OP. Your relative earnings may not follow current patterns for ever. Redundancy, disability, death can all be utterly unpredictable. You may not feel like you need the benefits now but that may change in a moment. Having children in particular can throw curveballs. Plan to go back to work full time? Sure, but will that change if you have a child with a disability?

As others have said a wedding and a marriage are not the same thing. Civil partnership also an option.

Power of Attorney and Next of Kin are two completely different things.

Personally I wouldn't get married again. I had to pay my ex quite a big settlement that could have been used for our kids. I don't feel I was in any way protected during our divorce, I'd have been better off just able to walk away and leave him to sort his own s**t out after what he did.

Marriage is for love. To shout from the rooftops that is your partner, in front of family, friends and the world. Include God if you are a believer. And it is a solid legal protection for when things do not ho as planned: accident, premature death, split.
You do not need a party. You can get married for £30 or so ( that was the price long long time ago! Before inflation. But it will not be more than £100)

Just get a CP for IHT reasons if nothing else. From April 2027 pensions are caught so anyone with a modest pension fund needs to make sure they have legal protection otherwise you will lose 40% of it and the recipient will also pay income tax meaning around 70% of it will be lost. That’ll be £100,000’s for a lot of people.

You don’t need a big wedding - mine cost £70 at the registry office

Our wedding cost about £200. Two witnesses and a nice lunch afterwards.

Or don't get married, opt for a civil partnership. We would have, if they'd been available for straight couples when we married.

Do you think same-sex couples would have spent decades fighting to be legally married if there were no practical benefits?

Well for one you would have to pay inheritance tax on your home if your partner died before you.