‘Built not bought’

As someone who very much falls into the bought category, as do my children, I’m very happy to accept that some kids need to work harder than mine did to achieve the same outcome. That should be celebrated and recognised.

Yes that’s exactly what I thought. This is clearly a touchy subject for some.

It's not just acknowledging the extra work they put in. It is also disparaging the achievements of those who didn't have the same financial struggles by stating they bought their achievements. It comes across as bitter and petty.

Another aspect is that privilege is intersectional and really not that straightforward to identify.

Someone could have all of the wealth in the world and private tutors, and cold, uninterested, absent parents that provide little to no emotional security and warmth.

Someone else could be born on a council estate in poverty with parents who value education as a means of bettering oneself, offer frequent library trips, and instil a love of reading and respect for education.

(I'm the latter, and I've met a few 'rich kids' who really struggled as everything was always handed to them on a place, so it didn't come naturally to them to work hard at something, or they had no impetus to study as they knew they'd be minted regardless. I've met some kids raised in poverty with a drive to succeed and pull themselves out of poverty)

Life isn't black and white. I had an enormous privilege in having parents who loved me, taught me to read, encouraged me, despite the addiction/criminality etc. in my family.

It’s acknowledging the extra work they’ve had to put in. If someone takes that as some sort of personal attack or criticism that’s their problem and they should probably ask themselves why they feel so defensive just seeing a hashtag

My two state school educated DCs said that a very large proportion of the people they met at their (RG) unis had been to private school, so statistically independently educated students make a disproportionately large section of their cohorts compared to school age. DD also said that there was not a huge amount of mixing and that the 'posh kids' were not so concerned about getting good degrees because they had nepo-jobs to go to. DS, less controversially, said that the privately educated students had been taught Harvard referencing and other useful undergrad skills not taught at state school, which gave them an advantage. Both claimed they knew people who didn't have student loans and didn't need to get p/t jobs because their parents were funding them fully. Anything like these points must surely make those from less advantaged backgrounds feel that they are disadvantaged and have to try harder.

It stemmed from the car scene years ago where those of us who modified / built / fixed our own cars with our own hands learning along the way felt a bit superior to those who handed the car and a wad of cash over to a garage or specialist to do the work. There was definitely gravitas behind doing the grunt work and relishing in the highs and lows along the way.

Now it seems to be crassly applied to situations out of context! Although I’ve used it to describe when I’ve bought cheap horses and produced them myself rather than buying ready made and ready produced ones.

I'm fully aware of my privilege. Although we were poor growing up, my parents prioritised education and it was always assumed we would go to uni. My dc are privileged and I have made sure that they are aware of the fact.

I have nothing but admiration for people who overcome major obstacles to achieve a good education. However, that does not mean I or my dc did not work our asses off for our education. it just means we had fewer obstacles and we are grateful for that.

They are proud that the odds were against them for succeeding, not making a statement about people or generations who had financial help getting to the same point.

I don’t think that the hashtag is great but being annoyed by this is like being jealous of people who get FSM vouchers or something. It’s not designed to annoy you.

Plus it’s social media. It’s not nuanced enough to have a hash tag that incorporates the idea that you can have privilege in non-financial ways eg supportive parents.

But if a young person went to private school without a full bursary someone did buy their education, in the sense that they paid for it?

The education was not bought. The place at the school was bought and the child then either works to achieve an education or not.

It's very obvious that many of us with privilege find it very hard to acknowledge that privilege.

You can be proud of your achievements (as they should be) without denigrating others.

That is nonsense. Sure, you can buy tutoring but all that gets you is the tutor's time. The student still needs to work hard in order to achieve.

My ds had tutoring in Spanish as he had the worst teacher known to mankind. The tutor had a really long waiting list and would only take students who were willing to work hard. She would call the parents if the student didn't do their homework or wasn't putting in the effort. The 3rd phonecall was to tell you she no longer had a place for your child. While his top grade in Spanish was aided by money, it was definitely not bought.

Sure, coming from money makes it easier to achieve but nobody will achieve a decent degree without putting in lots of hard work. Referring to that as buying your degree is utterly offensive.

As a university lecturer, I also find it your claim that the qualifications we award our students are bought. You will not achieve good marks in my subjects without a lot of hard work

But some students have - literally - had their education BOUGHT for them.

Money also buys you all the extra curriculars like some Unis want to see - music, sports etc. Money buys hot meals and not having to look after younger siblings. Money buys not having to work part time while you study.

Built not bought just shows that some people have managed the same achievements without the privilege. They’ve generally had to work much harder than someone with private education, financial support, good connections.

There’s some really nasty comments on this thread. Presumably from people worried their privilege is showing? Do they feel threatened or personally insulted by this hashtag maybe? It reminds me of the men who feel threatened by women gaining more equality and agency. I’m sure there’s still plenty of advantages in having a privileged background.

I haven’t heard the #builtnotbought but I think it’s quite interesting and I applaud anyone who calls out privilege like this and makes those with privilege think about it more critically.

They’re proud of themselves for overcoming the odds and working so hard to achieve what some others have had a much easier time achieving.

Not sure what the issue is with that, scroll on if it bothers you.

The last week or so there’s been a lot of threads criticising young people, it’s very odd.

The people you are talking about here are a tiny minority. Not having enough food and having to work at 15 to support every day family expenses is an exception. Yes, it is a major achievement for someone in these circumstances to do well academically. It’s still not really ok to use it as a means to devalue other people’s achievements. It doesn’t come across well and isn’t an attitude I would want on my team in the workplace either.

Oh get over it OP. I'm 'advantaged' and well aware of it. Of course I faced challenges but let's not pretend the fact it was assumed I would go to university and have a professional career didn't make it more likely. Let them bloody crow, good on them!

But if a young person went to private school without a full bursary someone did buy their education, in the sense that they paid for it? Obviously not saying that private school students don't work hard - I'm sure some do and some don't, like state school kids - but it's not wrong that someone paid money for their education.

Unfortunately, degrees really aren't equalizers and nor is university. The experience of a student who doesn't have to work, or does eight hours a week, is vastly different to the students working full time or almost, or caring for families, or parenting. The former aren't handed everything but they are given a substantial head start - if only in the time they have to study. And that time is often bought by their parents' money.

It also used to be true that degree students from under performing schools or with other indicators of deprivation outperformed students from more privileged backgrounds and private schools with the same entry A level grades. I don't know if that's still true with CoL pressures.

The work does need to be done, it it’s much easier if you’re able to focus on your studies and not worry about having enough food, or needing to get a job at 15 to supplement the family income. These kids will see the advantages their peers have and will live the hardships in trying to complete their education.

With that level of maturity they are unlikely to get decent jobs.

I’m all for celebrating your child’s achievements but within your family, not on social media and not as a way to point score against other people. It’s distasteful and makes them look bitter and nasty.

The work still needs to be done unless they are insinuating people are somehow paying other people to sit the exams for them?

It's not as if it's a dichotomy between free school meals/first in family to go to uni on one hand and private education or tutoring on the other. The majority of graduates are neither and it's pretty insulting to people from middle-income two-parent families who went to ordinary state schools to imply they "bought" their degree success.

Maybe missing the point, but I think it's a really weird use of that hashtag - It's usually associated with the modified car scene!

It’s an expression from the car scene, been around for years.