Child’s friend insulted house

I think it was an innocent comment.

When I was a teenager a friend came to stay in our semi detached house, she said 'I've never stayed in a house with another house attached'

My boyfriends mum commented on my mums flat 'oh it's this lovely just like a holiday apartment' then blushed and said 'and so beautifully furnished'

People say things

A pre-prep child once asked me ‘where’s the garden?’. We have a small terrace that backs onto one of London’s largest parks. So I laughed and said the whole park was our garden, nothing more was said and I certainly didn’t think the child was being rude. Is your house exceptionally small OP (like my garden). 😂

😆

I think she was totally being judgemental, especially to bring it up many times. Eight is definitely old enough to be judgy, I have a five yr old and that's something he would be capable of too at his age. It's normal for kids notice these things.

It's fine to think it about any house.
It's fine to say it about your own house.
It's not fine to say it about someone else's house.
She's quite young but not tpo young to have been taught basic manners.

Omg 🤣🤣 go you. I don't think I would of dared of called the child's parents up though.

You are an adult so take no notice.

But it might be as well to prime your Dd to be robust about this sort of thing as she gets older.

“it’s the right size for us”
“it’s the life you live inside your house that counts”
”haha don’t be a show off “
”boasting is rude “

etc

There's thinking and actually voiceing your unwanted opinion. I think kids do come out with things. If it was my child I would of pulled them to aside and explained that it is rude and bad manners.

8 year olds say things like they are, and have no recognition of "polite conversation". Your house is smaler than she is accustomed to. Your garden is smaller than she is accustomed to. These are facts. The person imbuing them with meaning is you! It isn't mean and it isn't important.

DD had a friend around this age who also made similar comments, I found it extremely rude. She's 8 not 4 - should know better.

Its rude but little kids are quite crass and/or just not very bright.

At that age we were considered posh amongst DCs friends because we have a gardener, bought J20's and I had a cafetiere 🤣

Personally in this situation I would say something - kindly - and pull the child up on it. so - oh we love our house thanks! or - it's a little bit rude to comment on other peoples homes -

I have no problem p[ulling other kids up in an age appropriate way! but I would be kind / not cross about it as they don't know better until they know better!

btw - my child has a bigger house than some of her friends who live in flats and without reservation she prefers their flats! thinks they are more interesting/ have cool views/ etc / loves the community on the estates compared to our house with garden. I don't think children think like adults that 'bigger is better'

I remember when I was that age we moved to a fairly big house and a boy of similar age said to me when out playing one day " your dads got a big mortgage" I was mortified , I had never heard of a mortgage at that age I thought my dad had a bad illness and went home crying lol, obvs heard the parents say it

My dd's friend was like this and one day just couldn't stop going on about how small & dirty my house was...it wasn't dirty but it was smaller in comparison to hers.

I rang her mum and said that her dd wasn't enjoying herself as my house was too small & dirty so it was best to collect her. Her parents were really embarrassed & apologetic & the little madam was hopping mad that I grassed her up! Her parents saw a side to their dd that day that they'd never seen before & I've never invited the brat back.

From the mouths of babes! 😂

I feared this would have happened to us when our eldest DD moved from state to private school at aged 8. We had done a lot of soul searching, scrimping and saving etc. on whether this was the right thing to do for her, neither of us had any experience of private school world and lived in a bog standard 3 bed semi. Not one of DDs friends mentioned anything about the size of our house. I do feel for you OP and have been thinking that your experience could, so easily, have been mine.

DDs friend once asked me (age 6) if i was trying to grow a beard. I got glasses and a magnifying mirror after that. 😀

We live in a small house. My children literally had no idea it was what we could afford and not a choice we made until they were surprisingly old. Like 9 and 11. It came up in conversation as we were visiting a big house. They simply though some people like big houses and some small.

Anyway, she may have been being rude, but she's a child and cant help her parents.

😂😂 Hilarious

DD’s little friend visited when we moved into our converted farm
buildings. The place was huge. Little friend went home and commented ‘I feel sorry for Caroline, she lives in a cowshed!’

It’s poor manners but it’s funny and not worth getting upset about. This reminds me of when DD’s friend (at a similar age, maybe 8 or 9) was round for a play date and asked me when we were moving house. I looked at her confused and said what makes you think we are moving? And she said “because your house is absolutely tiny”
Turns out DD had told her we might be moving because poor DD was embarrassed that our house was not as flashy as theirs. She was a bit of a brat and it always made me laugh. For context our house is a 5 bedroom townhouse.

I used to live in a studio and a very wealthy relative visited with her small child, showed her the bathroom and sitting room - uninvited - and said: 'There! That's ALL Choc's house!'

On the whole I think an overheard remark by an eight year-old is a lot more forgiveable.

One of mine definitely would have at 8 - if he was interested or surprised by something he would just ask.

If all the child has known are big houses she would of course comment on it. The insult is down to op's sensitivity. Op is projecting onto an 8 year old. Even if the child was being judgemental imagine a grown woman being insulted by the words of an 8 year old? The fact that your daughter was not bothered shows that the other child was not being mean or insulting.

You need to get your act together, op, and not pass your shame onto your kids. They should be proud of their house. You can't control what other people say, but you can teach your kids (in the event that they really are insulted) to say, "yes, isn't it wonderful. I love living here. It's so cosy and charming." Instead you are teaching them to feel less than because they live in a smaller house. I think it's all on you.

YANBU for thinking it's a bit cheeky, but YABU to get this upset over an 8 year old visitor's opinion!