Child’s friend insulted house

As long as your house is the fun house- that’s all that matters! My friends always wanted to stay at mine even though it was the poorest and smallest! My parents let us get on with having fun and threw loads of lovely food and snacks our way… it was never a “show home” and I try to do the same with my kids now. 8 year old girls are starting to get judgy sometimes but who cares? It will only get worse but I remember a school friend whose house was (looking back) a disaster- you couldn’t see the floor in any room, but what fun we had. It was loving and funny (actually I think the older kids just fed us crisps!) Do t over think it! My kids sometimes go to their friends houses and report back that the bed was full of crumbs… I’ll always make sure they’ve got clean bedding!

Here's another example....

I do think the child was repeating her parent's opinion which is why it particularly bothered me

OP's insecurity.

Yet blaming it on a child!
Disgusting.

Children just say what they observe with less filtering. She may not have realised it could be construed as rude. I had previous comments like this in the past and it didn’t upset me as children will be children.

And there we have it....

This is a sore point as most kids at their school have larger houses!

OP'S insecurity.

Nothing to do with a little girl.

YABU. It’s an entirely natural comment for an 8 year old to make.

Not all 8 year olds have perfect social skills.

Kids at that age know what they are saying, especially as she kept repeating it. I wouldn't have her over again, she sounds like a brat.

P.s. Have you posted before about having a small house and your kid's friends all living in bigger ones, with no shared bedrooms etc? Someone posted something similar a couple of months ago, about their daughter wanting a dressing table in her bedroom but it not being big enough to fit one in. Sorry if it wasn't you!

Ignore. Children frequently say what they think without understanding it could cause offence.
If it happens again just reply that you all love your house and garden.

'kept asking why our house and garden are so small and commenting on it.'

The child KEPT asking AND commenting. Rude

The child was not misbehaving she simply commented that the house was small. So what? This parent is projecting her own insecurities about her house . No one else cares! Her own child doesnt care its just this woman
Some of these comments are way OTT you nust all have perfect robotic children who only speak when spoken to and never say anything you dont agree with
Its not like the child walked in and said
"Ffs sheila your house is tiny its shit compared to mine , you must be really poor"
She just simply made a comment .

Shes a child. Children say things as they see it and it wasnt said to the parent it was the children talking amongst themselves . She wasnt being nasty . Its only the parent who has the issue because SHE thinks her house is small compared to everyone elses

I don't think the child "insulted" your house, if your house was much bigger than hers and she made multiple comments about it being bigger would you consider that an insult? Whilst perhaps not good form on the child's part, I think you are projecting here.

She has to option to teach the child how she expacts the child to behave in HER house. She also had the option to never invite the little madam back again. Thank goodness she doesn't have to parent her. Seems like the child is about 4-5years behind in terms of manners so it would be a hard slog that.

It does mean something. It means the child is rude and has been brought up in an entitled household where they are not being taught manners, respect and kindness. 🤢

That's an intelligent question.

It wasn't an insult, it was factual.

Very observant and reasonable question!

You are supposed to be the big guy, the parent. You sound more like the child. Children are not perfect, one of yours will disgrace you one day, will you blame yourself?

This sounds more like you being incredibly thin-skinned and insecure than anything. some people recognise that their house is small, or they’re poorer than the visiting child’s household, and aren’t cut to the heart by a remark. Or indeed by a child from a family that spends money differently. We are financially comfortable, but have one tv in a five-bedroomed house. For some people that would be a sign of poverty. For us it’s not.

The OP had the option to bring it up with the child, she doesn’t have the option of parenting that child and teaching her about social niceties,

Yes she's 8 so I would let it go over my head. But also, at that age a lot of kids DO know that such comments are rude and their personalities are starting to form by that point. I recall being bullied by kids at the same age over where I lived and being "poor" and they knew exactly what they were saying. They almost certainly learned this attitude from their parents. They're still awful people.today.

I had a cousin who asked if we were poor because we used washing up liquid instead of shampoo. My mother was mortified when I told her and we had shampoo henceforth.

I'm still not sure why we used washing up liquid tbh.

[random musing]

Also dd3's friend came around when she was about 7 (I'd picked her up as her dm had called me as she had been caught up in a car crash). She kept on saying how small our house was and how she'd hate to be joined to another house (we live in a 3 bed semi).

Dd2's friend asked if we were Jewish as we had 2 sinks - one in the kitchen, the other in the utility room!

I did but it doesn't stop me from playing with her and banning her from my house like some of the overreacting adults here!

No, you should have told your niece that she is wrong to comment on the appearance of others. It is rude and shows poor manners.