Child’s friend insulted house

I voted YANBU because even though it’s clearly unintentional and not malicious, it’s understandable to feel upset. Similar to when you’re overweight and a child asks if you’ve got a baby in your tummy but you’re just carrying extra weight 😅 would it upset me? Yes. Do I know it’s true? Yes. It’s NBU to be upset, it is BU to be offended.

This particular child is just that, somehow feels a need to try to be superior.

At that age you don't generally notice or care.

Same experience from an 11 year old, very condescending but was soon put in her place when the other 7 girls loved having fun.

Maybe OP would have been more comfortable if the DC said she lived in a b&b with her whole family in one room
Count your blessings/privilege OP. Be proud of your home, having a bigger home or any home doesn't make you a better person than those without one.

Er well, Op's 8 year old daughter perhaps?

How many kids don’t even have a house ? We all need to learn not to compare ourselves to others or measure our worth like this … you should be able to mix with all backgrounds and hold your head up high … educate the ignorant or ignore them

I remember saying that when a friend moved to a tiny place after the house they had lived in before seemed so huge to me. They'd had a huge garden and a five bedroom home with two living areas and a huge kitchen. It seemed massive to me as I grew up in a tiny flat. Then their situation changed and they moved to a tiny flat with a kitchenette that was basically part of the living room and two tiny bedrooms, no garden. I commented on how small it was.

No malice meant, no snobbery (economically pretty much everyone had bigger houses than us, and houses, not a flat like we had). It was just an observation and surprise due to the place they'd come from.

As an adult, I'd know why that is insensitive and rude and understand the economics of the situation. To 8 year old me, it was just an observation.

Don't take it too seriously. Kids don't understand or think about these things in the same way.

When I was 8 I thought anyone not living in a detached was poor.
When I came to buy my own house I realised that anyone with a house of any size was working their buts off and that some tiny houses are worth more than some massive houses. And that someone can be poor ina massive house and rich in a small house. And that really people can be massive dicks in any size house.
Also that I would not now want a massive house as I could not find anything in it.
So no, I would not even consider an 8 year olds opinion on my house.

Psychologists would have a field day with some of the mumsnetters on here 🤣

Ds1 had a school friend who lived next door to school (in a big house) and was astonished we walked "SO FAR" to school every day (10-12 mins walk 😆) when he came around for a playdate. He mentioned it multiple times on the way home.

I started to get a bit self conscious of our much smaller house Vs his until he saw our (small to average at best) garden and was equally astonished at how big it was compared to his. Again he talked about it a lot.

He wasn't being rude just talking out loud about the differences between his set up and ours. Some 8yos don't have a filter. I quickly decided I couldn't let an 8yo determine my views on my house but I definitely had a little wobble of confidence as I wanted ds' friends to have a good time and be complimentary about having the playdate with ds.

I agree.
I've never quite heard anything like this thread, where posters are judging 8 year olds.

It's obviously their own insecurities but what a shame for the kids whose playdates are being curtailed.

The child may not associate big houses with wealth and just commenting on a difference!
the same as wondering why both parents don’t live together or why people don’t have a pet etc

Respectfully, I disagree. I wont be inviting the child back to ours either who said the same to my son. We have enough friends who are kind and considerate, no need to spend time on people, in your own home, who upsets you and who are unkind.

Wise up to yourself. She's 8 and children say all kinds of stuff. Don't take your insecurities out on a little child. They're innocent and don't do things to deliberately hurt you. OP even said she's not going to invite the little one round again over it! Absolutely pathetic to do that to a child just because she pointed out the obvious and she didn't like it. People truly are arseholes now.

She's 8 years old, get a bloody grip.

One of my friends small daughters, 4ish, saw my granny knickers hanging up "but why have you got Giant's Knickers Auntie?" Compared to her mother's dainty scraps that's what they were😄I've managed to struggle on despite this and refused to submit to despair.

My DD's friend lives in a very small 3 bed semi. DD didn't realise we had a big house until she had a playdate with her friend at her house. She was 9 at the time and wouldn't of dreamed of telling her friend that her house was tiny. I think it's bad manners. Although, my DS is on the spectrum and literally has no filter and speaks his mind and he would be that child, I think it really depends on the child!

My friends child came over and asked my why my tv was so tiny, I just found it funny!

She’s 8!

Damn right i didnt invite him back. He still made my DD feel like shit about herself and was rude to me. Why would I want to encourage that friendship!

This child has no awareness that bigger is better or any concept of money or property value. She’s used to seeing houses a certain size, yours differed from the norm, she commented on it - it’s not an insult

Definitely this. I'd take it as a perfectly innocent factual observation.

There are some deeply unpleasant people on this thread, commenting with disapproval on others parenting and their apparent failure to teach their children appropriate social responses. Yet here they are showing everyone their own lack of manners. Astonishing.

It’s literally a question, the only one interpreting it as an insult is you, which is clearly your issue not theirs.

Just be grateful that your own child is not a rude, opinionated little madam.
8 is old enough to know that certain opinions are best kept to yourself.

Well my friends son when he was a similar age thought everyone had the same car as his Dad so went to someone’s house and asked ‘where’s your Range Rover’ luckily they just laughed and said they couldn’t afford one - although my friend was clearly mortified when she found out and had a talk to her son. Kids if that age are rarely malicious, just state the obvious.

We live in a big(ish) house, 5 beds and four reception rooms. The only thing I care about are which children are kind to DD and make her happy and which parents are friendly to myself and DH. All material things are no where near as relevant.