Child’s friend insulted house

Mine too. It’s quite telling how important, and not important, teaching your children good manners from an early age is.

Yes, it's happened to me also.
Your house is so small; your kitchen is tiny; your car is small/old, etc.
Our house WAS small, and kitchen tiny.
I was a bit irritated, but did not intervene.
The car was a bit different, as DS friend kept arguing in the back, and I had to stop the car as it was potentially dangerous.

This is the kind of things kids say.

When I was little I called my friend's garden messy and she got upset.

My friend's kid said we didn't have many toys once.

That's kids for you.

Our house is small but we will own all of it, I have friends with bigger houses that do shared ownership schemes so although we have a smaller house comparatively we're in a better financial position.

This will be hard to explain to my 6 year old!!

Since when did fact absolve good manners?

She’s 8. I wouldn’t even care.

Just as a matter of interest, to the posters saying ‘she’s only 8’, would any of your children say something like that? I know for a fact that neither of my children would ever have dreamed of saying something like that. They both had social filters from an early age. They are 17 and 13 now and remain very polite and respectful.

I remember a friend, who lived in a detached house, said he could never live in a semi detached house. We lived in a terraced house and I thought people who lived in semi detached houses, never mind detached, were posh. It all depends on your starting point.

My three year old (at the time) used to comment on how many chimneys peoples houses had, as ours had three.
Our house was much bigger than most of her friends, but worth less in monetary terms as we lived in a shit area in comparison.

I know right! All these people saying the child was just making an observation…. What are they like.

Did the child make fun of the house? Has OP given more info? Because in the original post it was just a passing comment.

So many excuses - by 8 children know that calling someone fat or ugly or poor is rude and not allowed.
Making similar comments about possessions or food or homes etc is exactly the same.

Unfortunately they learn it from their parents

8 years old is absolutely old enough to know that you don’t make fun of other children’s houses/ financial situations.

It's a fact not a judgement. She could probably care less.

It's amazing how many telepathic people are on here.

I agree but it seems on here 8 is too young to be taught good manners 🤷‍♀️ maybe some think an 8 yr old saying your mum’s fat (just an observation after all) is ok as they're too young to understand good manners?

Same. Growing up my mum had a friend who had loads of DC, a useless husband and an incredibly stressful life for various reasons. Her house was always a total mess, really quite shocking and I remember my mum telling me not to mention it. So, for me as a child, I wouldn't have dared to mention anything.

Triggers memories of Dd asking my single friend “where are your children”’ as pretty much everyone else we visited had children her age to play with. Mortifying.

It could perfectly well have been innocent. You don't know that her parents were 'showy off' either. They just lived in a bigger house, which says nothing about the state of it nor the attitude of the parents. There are plenty of big, very run down houses. There are even rich parents living in huge, well kept mansions who happen to be modest, kind people and not massive snobs.

Kids say what comes into their heads, it takes time to learn tact. I'd have thought an eight year old would have learned a bit.

I used to hear all sorts of comments when mine was small and had friends round all the time. Not just about our house but about other people's. I can also remember when I was a child (back in the dark ages), children saying things about my home which my mother found upsetting but they were only observations from kids.

Don't worry about it, you will not be the only family with a small house and garden. She didn't say she didn't like being there, or disliked you!

We had a child say our garden is tiny. It is compared to hers. She wasn't meaning to be rude. Just saying what she saw. She redeemed herself in other ways by complimenting something else. If she kept on saying it like the child at your house I'd have just pointed out she already told us.
Another child said "Can we go into the dining room?" We don't have a separate one, but it was just what she was used to. No offence taken. A friend who lives in a flat had a child ask to go upstairs.

Why is your house small?

Why is your mum fat?

Why don't you have many toys?

Why why why...

Get used to it, it is constant on play dates

People /children learn about asking questions and you don’t know about things being different to what your used to until you experience it.

if it was said in a negative way then that’s not nice and insulting but if it’s more of an inquisitive way then that’s fine.

It’s human nature to compare. At some point you would expect them to learn to be tactful and keep the questions until they get home etc but probably not there yet at 8.

Agree with this. Disagree with most posters who say she is only 8. She is rude. She was not ‘just making an observation’ she’s not presenting an episode of location location location for goodness sake. She absolutely knew what she was saying. But I do agree she sounds like she hasn’t been taught not to comment on materialistic things.

I brought my children up in a pretty relaxed house except for one area, which was manners. My parents were sticklers for good manners so I knew from a young age if something was rude or liable to cause upset or embarrassment, not to say it.

She’s 8. That’s the sort of thing 8 year olds comment on.

if this is upsetting you it’s your issue not the child’s.