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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed that I’m being blamed for this?!

86 replies

AngelaSnerkel · 28/07/2025 09:03

We (DH, toddler and I) went to a wedding with my mother last month. She drove to us, briefly came in for a cup of tea, and then we all went in our car.

Weeks later, she’s asked us to look for a set of keys she allegedly left on our hallway table. It’s keys to my grandparents’ house and she said she took them from her car and put them there for safekeeping.

The keys aren’t there and DH and I haven’t seen them. DM is now “very disappointed” in me for losing her keys and is going to draw me a diagram of the keys and where she left them so I can find them, and keeps messaging me to ask that I “look again properly.”

AIBU to think this is insanity?

OP posts:
AnAudacityofinlaws · 28/07/2025 10:20

She’s doing this because she wants to be able to blame you for the keys being lost. You’ve lost them, not her is what she will tell everyone. She has no idea where they are or where she left them.

Blingismything · 28/07/2025 10:18

YANBU, however could your DC have picked them up and put them somewhere? Mixed in with toys? If they were left at your house in the first place without you being aware.

NHSFifeStatementFinalFINALFinalVersionV9FINAL · 28/07/2025 10:14

Take detailed photos of your hall table, send them to her and ask her to circle the keys if they are in the photo.

LimeQuoter · 28/07/2025 09:29

Disappointed in you? You have a toddler and weren't asked to mind them. I think it's passive aggressive drawing a diagram of your hall table. I presume you know well where the table is. It's her responsibility to mind her keys in my opinion. I would stay calm, avoid fueling the situation and if you have had a good luck already, keep repeating that you're sorry that you haven't found them. Ignore the rest and tell her you didn't realise they were there/supposed to mind them. Ya, as someone else said, invite her to have a look herself. Don't mind her

Janeeyrre · 28/07/2025 09:25

'Sorry Mum definitely no keys, if you had left them we would have seen them and put them in a safe place. Maybe check down the sides in your car or retrace your steps at home. Good luck and let us know'

CherryYellowCouch · 28/07/2025 09:24

I’d be pointing out that looking after the keys was her responsibility not yours.

I’d offer for her to visit and and look for them herself. The likelihood is that she’s lost them somewhere entirely different .

autienotnaughty · 28/07/2025 09:24

Just say I havent list your keys thet weren’t there. Look else where for them!

ConnieHeart · 28/07/2025 09:20

Why on earth did she leave them in your house, without telling you, for safekeeping? Nah, she's lost them & thinks she may have accidentally left them at your house. Not your fault

DiscoBob · 28/07/2025 09:11

Just tell her you have looked and can't find them. If she wants to look she's welcome but there's little point. Tell her to look elsewhere. That you haven't seen or touched them and won't be held responsible for 'losing' them.

Missedthis · 28/07/2025 09:10

We’d love to see the diagram though!

Ooodelally · 28/07/2025 09:09

Yes, that’s batshit! I’d tell her I don’t want to hear about the keys again unless it’s her apologising and telling me she’s found them somewhere else!