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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed that I’m being blamed for this?!

86 replies

AngelaSnerkel · 28/07/2025 09:03

We (DH, toddler and I) went to a wedding with my mother last month. She drove to us, briefly came in for a cup of tea, and then we all went in our car.

Weeks later, she’s asked us to look for a set of keys she allegedly left on our hallway table. It’s keys to my grandparents’ house and she said she took them from her car and put them there for safekeeping.

The keys aren’t there and DH and I haven’t seen them. DM is now “very disappointed” in me for losing her keys and is going to draw me a diagram of the keys and where she left them so I can find them, and keeps messaging me to ask that I “look again properly.”

AIBU to think this is insanity?

OP posts:
DonnaSueWeloveyou · 28/07/2025 13:16

AngelaSnerkel · 28/07/2025 09:03

We (DH, toddler and I) went to a wedding with my mother last month. She drove to us, briefly came in for a cup of tea, and then we all went in our car.

Weeks later, she’s asked us to look for a set of keys she allegedly left on our hallway table. It’s keys to my grandparents’ house and she said she took them from her car and put them there for safekeeping.

The keys aren’t there and DH and I haven’t seen them. DM is now “very disappointed” in me for losing her keys and is going to draw me a diagram of the keys and where she left them so I can find them, and keeps messaging me to ask that I “look again properly.”

AIBU to think this is insanity?

Yep. I would take another look anywhere she’s been in your house and in your car, then tell her to check her car etc too. Maybe they’ll turn up, but they are her responsibility not yours!

muggart · 28/07/2025 13:15

could they have fallen down the back if the table is against the wall? or fallen and landed inside a shoe?

SweetnsourNZ · 28/07/2025 13:14

JoshLymanSwagger · 28/07/2025 10:26

Did she use her normal handbag, or change it for a different one (maybe to match her shoes/outfit)?
Has she checked every pocket and zip in it?
Why would she randomly bring in a set of keys that she wasn't actually using (unlike her house/car keys) and then dump them on your table without telling you?

I bet they're somewhere in a bag, back in her wardrobe.

Edited

Good point. Or maybe a different jacket.

Roomforapony · 28/07/2025 13:11

NHSFifeStatementFinalFINALFinalVersionV9FINAL · 28/07/2025 10:14

Take detailed photos of your hall table, send them to her and ask her to circle the keys if they are in the photo.

😂

Velmy · 28/07/2025 13:07

Please return to this thread with the diagram, OP.

GRex · 28/07/2025 12:52

Check the photos to see what bag she had, and advise her to check it for the keys.

CurlewKate · 28/07/2025 12:50

Don’t be too categoric. Just in case….

upandleftthenright · 28/07/2025 12:47

Ooodelally · 28/07/2025 09:09

Yes, that’s batshit! I’d tell her I don’t want to hear about the keys again unless it’s her apologising and telling me she’s found them somewhere else!

Would you really say that though? Honestly? People are always advising direct confrontation on MN but in my experience that path always makes the situation worse and everyone falls out.

tinyspiny · 28/07/2025 12:44

YANBU and your mum is mad , however it might just be easier to borrow your grandparents keys and get a new set cut just to shut this down

dogsandbudgey · 28/07/2025 12:41

My dad ‘blamed’ me for losing his glasses. He left them on our sofa apparently he remembered exactly where on the sofa and he really needed them back. I tore the place apart, they never appeared. He found them 6mths later in the shed. HIS shed

Clarinet1 · 28/07/2025 12:37

The only other thing I can think of is would anyone else have come into your house while you were out? Neighbour? Friend? Cleaner? Gardner? And taken the keys ir knocked them off the table and maybe kicked them some distance without realising?

Richiewoo · 28/07/2025 12:30

Cheek she's the one that lost them.

Tia247 · 28/07/2025 11:40

Tell her she must have left them somewhere else because they're definitely not there. YANBU.

Original poster
AngelaSnerkel · 28/07/2025 11:10

Blingismything · 28/07/2025 10:18

YANBU, however could your DC have picked them up and put them somewhere? Mixed in with toys? If they were left at your house in the first place without you being aware.

Edited

I mean, theoretically, yes, but it’s unlikely.

DC can’t reach on the table, so it’s only possible if the keys were knocked off the table onto the floor and she’s taken and hidden them without us noticing.

The table isn’t always the tidiest (it hosts post, sun cream, our keys and general life detritus) but I’ve checked it and underneath.

OP posts:
BernardButlersBra · 28/07/2025 11:04

🤣🤣🤣🤣 is she always so unreasonable?! Let's me guess she is perfect and NOTHING is ever her fault? I wouldn't be getting into these chats and she needs to find the keys she lost / mislaid

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 28/07/2025 11:03

Toddlers do pick things and move them randomly, especially if it's something out of the ordinary/unusual. Have you checked cupboards, drawers, shoes, etc in the vicinity and asked your toddler if they picked up what granny put on the hall table? He/she might not remember now. My niece hid my mum's car key in a cupboard completely randomly when she was little.

Paganpentacle · 28/07/2025 11:02

NHSFifeStatementFinalFINALFinalVersionV9FINAL · 28/07/2025 10:14

Take detailed photos of your hall table, send them to her and ask her to circle the keys if they are in the photo.

😂

BeanQuisine · 28/07/2025 10:59

Reassuring to see 100% for YANBU on this one, but now I've probably jinxed it...

Ferrissia3 · 28/07/2025 10:47

My guess is she doth be protesting too much about experiencing memory problems.

whitewineandsun · 28/07/2025 10:39

She's being ridiculous blaming you for her mistake.

Oreosareawful · 28/07/2025 10:36

NHSFifeStatementFinalFINALFinalVersionV9FINAL · 28/07/2025 10:14

Take detailed photos of your hall table, send them to her and ask her to circle the keys if they are in the photo.

Best answer ever 😂

SriouslyWhutNow · 28/07/2025 10:34

I don't even know where to begin with this one, your mum is being ridiculous.

QuickFawn · 28/07/2025 10:33

Tell her she’s welcome to come and find them and she can now use her diagram as a treasure map

CatHairEveryWhereNow · 28/07/2025 10:29

NHSFifeStatementFinalFINALFinalVersionV9FINAL · 28/07/2025 10:14

Take detailed photos of your hall table, send them to her and ask her to circle the keys if they are in the photo.

I think this would be my reponse to any sent diagrams.

Obvioulsy the toddler or anyone else could have picked them up and moved them as you had no idea they were there - but honestly I expect she left them elsewhere but wants to blame you to take blame off herself.

JoshLymanSwagger · 28/07/2025 10:26

Did she use her normal handbag, or change it for a different one (maybe to match her shoes/outfit)?
Has she checked every pocket and zip in it?
Why would she randomly bring in a set of keys that she wasn't actually using (unlike her house/car keys) and then dump them on your table without telling you?

I bet they're somewhere in a bag, back in her wardrobe.