DH overreacting over

In Comparison to a man who hits children.

So if I had to pick a man who demands and controls that I bring our child home safely

or a man that hits my child.

I know which one I’m picking.

I find it worrying the amount of people who think a man controlling his family is okay. The fact that OP has to obey her husband is okay
A lot of you would get on well with my soon to be ex. He believes women should do exactly as they're told too.

Absolutely no way should you leave! It's your holiday. You can enjoy it without leaving your children in your Dad's sole care, should you deem that necessary for their safety and security.

Your H does not get to make unilateral decisions.

No, no one should physically admonish a five year old. But that doesn't warrant cutting short a holiday by two weeks.

Agree, it's embarrassing that there are women on this site who are so desperate to prove that women are always the maligned victim that they are cheering on leaving children with people who have assaulted them, just to prove a point... 'dh isn't in charge.. you tell him!!"...🙄

You've dealt with your father.

Now deal with your husband.

He doesn't have the right to make that decision without consulting you and without your okay. People treat you the way you teach them to and the way you allow them to.

Tell him you and the children won't be leaving early. Then don't.

You claiming to "be stuck in the middle" equals you being passive. If you're passive, that's what you get. Don't be passive. Be a force to be reckoned with. :)

I am finding the answers to this really interesting. Some of you lot need to read carefully.

The amount of people judging without seeing is astounding. From poor parenting to controlling to every colour in between.

Again to clarify a few points:

This happened yesterday at around 6ish. I arrived home 7ish.

As another PP mentioned I can’t be in two places at once. I am on holiday but I visit my parents while here. When I say on my return I mean on coming back to my parent’s home.

I arrived to my accommodation 8ish and we checked in with my husband, as we usually do. The moment I call, my children snatch my phone from me and talk about their day with him. I usually wait until they are done to have a conversation with him without that many interruptions.
I didn’t have the opportunity to say anything first.
Yesterday ‘S highlight was this awful situation.

To all of you saying I don’t believe my daughter, I truly do. Never said otherwise in the OP. However, she has a form for performing crying specially when things don’t go her way. When I came in she was fine playing with her siblings. Then she proceeded to tell me what happened and the crying ensued.
The same would have happened if she was retelling something that happened at school. I am not justifying, I am explaining how my child is.

My poor children haven’t been to the beach yet, but they have been to the pool, to the movies, to dine out, to the countryside and to the shops. They have also been to some burocracy stops, such as renewing paperwork.

Also, my husband was here for a few days and then he went, as he can’t take that many holidays together. We have been doing this for years and it has worked for us. We don’t have fancy trips or an extravagant life. We barely go out. I clean, I cook and I do most of life admin and care for my children. People who say I am a bad parent don’t have a f…king clue.

While I appreciate the concern, I am someone who thinks things through and makes informed decisions based on the facts. I asked all witnesses including my children. I like to see the full picture. Unlike some, I am not explosive and reactive.

I said to my husband to talk to my dad and he refused. To talk to my mum and he refused and then proceeded to book the flights while I was saying to approach this with caution as I too realise this is a pivotal moment in our family life.

I don’t paint anyone on any light. I am stating things as they happened. My husband is also older and has form for taking unilateral decisions without considering anyone else, he thinks he knows best. He is overriding my assessment of the situation and I don’t like to be treated like a child.

I have not been able to assess anymore my child around her gd as I have not seen him since yesterday but she is devastated that we have the return flight sooner.

I might not update anymore as I need to sort things out and make the most of whatever time I have left here.

And remember, opinions are like butts. Everyone has one.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts

Completely forget the poor child the mum is the real victim n the grandad is also the victim and the husband is obviously the perp here child is obviously irrelevant in this according to mn husband cares for his child MN quick light the torches and grab the pitchforks that child needs to be with a mother who doesn't give a toss

Hear hear. People are just siding with the OP because she is female. Can you imagine the UPROAR if a woman posted saying that her husband and kids were staying with the grandparents, and grandad or even grandmother had hit one. Then her husband just minimised it. The cries of 'LTB' and 'go scorched earth' would be deafening! This place is an absolute joke at times.

I would absolutely hit the roof if my childs dad thought it was acceptable to keep him somewhere other adults slap them. I can't believe you didn't arrange to leave yourself.

I am finding the answers to this really interesting. Some of you lot need to read carefully.

The amount of people judging without seeing is astounding. From poor parenting to controlling to every colour in between.

Again to clarify a few points:

This happened yesterday at around 6ish. I arrived home 7ish.

As another PP mentioned I can’t be in two places at once. I am on holiday but I visit my parents while here. When I say on my return I mean on coming back to my parent’s home.

I arrived to my accommodation 8ish and we checked in with my husband, as we usually do. The moment I call, my children snatch my phone from me and talk about their day with him. I usually wait until they are done to have a conversation with him without that many interruptions.
I didn’t have the opportunity to say anything first.
Yesterday ‘S highlight was this awful situation.

To all of you saying I don’t believe my daughter, I truly do. Never said otherwise in the OP. However, she has a form for performing crying specially when things don’t go her way. When I came in she was fine playing with her siblings. Then she proceeded to tell me what happened and the crying ensued.
The same would have happened if she was retelling something that happened at school. I am not justifying, I am explaining how my child is.

My poor children haven’t been to the beach yet, but they have been to the pool, to the movies, to dine out, to the countryside and to the shops. They have also been to some burocracy stops, such as renewing paperwork.

Also, my husband was here for a few days and then he went, as he can’t take that many holidays together. We have been doing this for years and it has worked for us. We don’t have fancy trips or an extravagant life. We barely go out. I clean, I cook and I do most of life admin and care for my children. People who say I am a bad parent don’t have a f…king clue.

While I appreciate the concern, I am someone who thinks things through and makes informed decisions based on the facts. I asked all witnesses including my children. I like to see the full picture. Unlike some, I am not explosive and reactive.

I said to my husband to talk to my dad and he refused. To talk to my mum and he refused and then proceeded to book the flights while I was saying to approach this with caution as I too realise this is a pivotal moment in our family life.

I don’t paint anyone on any light. I am stating things as they happened. My husband is also older and has form for taking unilateral decisions without considering anyone else, he thinks he knows best. He is overriding my assessment of the situation and I don’t like to be treated like a child.

I have not been able to assess anymore my child around her gd as I have not seen him since yesterday but she is devastated that we have the return flight sooner.

I might not update anymore as I need to sort things out and make the most of whatever time I have left here.

And remember, opinions are like butts. Everyone has one.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts

This may come as a shock to you, but people who work full time do take holidays.

Absolutely. And she needs to be careful that he doesn't end up isolating her from her parents. But I think she is aware.

But it shouldn’t be a unilateral decision and there are some worrying signs in how the OP describes her relationship and the decision making process.

Her DH should have A say, he should be part of the discussion he shouldn’t have the right to just say come home now that is it without working out the best way forward for the family.

I am finding the answers to this really interesting. Some of you lot need to read carefully.

The amount of people judging without seeing is astounding. From poor parenting to controlling to every colour in between.

Again to clarify a few points:

This happened yesterday at around 6ish. I arrived home 7ish.

As another PP mentioned I can’t be in two places at once. I am on holiday but I visit my parents while here. When I say on my return I mean on coming back to my parent’s home.

I arrived to my accommodation 8ish and we checked in with my husband, as we usually do. The moment I call, my children snatch my phone from me and talk about their day with him. I usually wait until they are done to have a conversation with him without that many interruptions.
I didn’t have the opportunity to say anything first.
Yesterday ‘S highlight was this awful situation.

To all of you saying I don’t believe my daughter, I truly do. Never said otherwise in the OP. However, she has a form for performing crying specially when things don’t go her way. When I came in she was fine playing with her siblings. Then she proceeded to tell me what happened and the crying ensued.
The same would have happened if she was retelling something that happened at school. I am not justifying, I am explaining how my child is.

My poor children haven’t been to the beach yet, but they have been to the pool, to the movies, to dine out, to the countryside and to the shops. They have also been to some burocracy stops, such as renewing paperwork.

Also, my husband was here for a few days and then he went, as he can’t take that many holidays together. We have been doing this for years and it has worked for us. We don’t have fancy trips or an extravagant life. We barely go out. I clean, I cook and I do most of life admin and care for my children. People who say I am a bad parent don’t have a f…king clue.

While I appreciate the concern, I am someone who thinks things through and makes informed decisions based on the facts. I asked all witnesses including my children. I like to see the full picture. Unlike some, I am not explosive and reactive.

I said to my husband to talk to my dad and he refused. To talk to my mum and he refused and then proceeded to book the flights while I was saying to approach this with caution as I too realise this is a pivotal moment in our family life.

I don’t paint anyone on any light. I am stating things as they happened. My husband is also older and has form for taking unilateral decisions without considering anyone else, he thinks he knows best. He is overriding my assessment of the situation and I don’t like to be treated like a child.

I have not been able to assess anymore my child around her gd as I have not seen him since yesterday but she is devastated that we have the return flight sooner.

I might not update anymore as I need to sort things out and make the most of whatever time I have left here.

And remember, opinions are like butts. Everyone has one.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts

Did your 5 yo child also get hit across the head by their GF, with the GM asleep, while under their sole care in their house, 1000s of miles from home in a foreign country without either of their parents about!?

Did you then also post about the 5 yo child's " performative crying", downpplay the incident, where she got smacked across the head for nothing significant, not tell their father at all, only for him to have to hear from one of their very upset children later, and then post on line about his apparent "over reaction", and openly questioning his motives for acting to protect his kids & get them home ASAP!?!

One of my DC once cried at around that age because the biscuit they ate had been eaten.