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Original poster

SIL referred to herself as a helicopter parent of mine and husbands baby

33 replies

Tetchy321 · 27/07/2025 23:25

I’m not sure if I’m reading into this too much but my SIL referred to herself as a helicopter parent when discussing something related to mine and DH’s child. Is that weird?

OP posts:
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Strawberrri · 28/07/2025 08:42

Well a helicopter parent is a parent so i dont think she understands the meaning of the term. ignore.

4pmwinetimebebeh · 28/07/2025 08:31

Unless theres a back story this is a non-issue.

If my sister said 'god I worry so much they'll get hurt I'm such a helicopter parents when I mind your kids' it wouldn't bother me at all. Its a turn of phrase. Get a grip!

myplace · 28/07/2025 08:24

Doesn’t it just mean that she supervises very closely when she babysits?

I was a teacher, and find myself on heightened alert around children whether they are in my charge or not.

If there’s an open door and a toddler, children running near steps or water, I’m on edge.

It could also be described as anxiety, by more laid back people.

Without more context we don’t know whether she’s overstepping or not.

ShoeeMcfee · 28/07/2025 08:22

She's a twat. There are many of them around. Ignore.

Rusalina · 28/07/2025 08:20

Unless there’s a backstory, I couldn’t get worked up over this. It’s nice for children to have lots of adults who care deeply

PollyBell · 28/07/2025 08:19

Reallybadidea · 28/07/2025 07:53

Well helicopter parent doesn't mean what she thinks it does. She probably just means that she is always going to be around for them if you can't be.

That's what I thinking wouldn't think any deeper than she is mixing things up

CaptainMyCaptain · 28/07/2025 08:15

Reallybadidea · 28/07/2025 07:53

Well helicopter parent doesn't mean what she thinks it does. She probably just means that she is always going to be around for them if you can't be.

I came on to say this. She doesn't know what it means.

PicaK · 28/07/2025 08:13

The context is really important here.

5128gap · 28/07/2025 08:12

Do you think your SiL has delusions she is your child's parent? Is your child confused about who their mother is? Is your SiL getting in the way of your family life? If no to these, then does it matter that she chose the wrong phrase? Life is too short to analyse the way people express themselves searching for oddities. Sometimes we say things the wrong way. Mostly it's not with sinister intent.

PurpleSaladPotatoes · 28/07/2025 08:10

Franjipanl8r · 27/07/2025 23:55

Does it really matter? She might not even know what “helicopter parent” means, plenty of people misinterpret sayings.

Yes, this. Or, if she did know the term’s meaning, she was using it self-deprecatingly, because she hovers too close?

maudelovesharold · 28/07/2025 08:04

Does she ever look after your dc? She’s probably just using it as a catch-all phrase to indicate that she’s extremely vigilant where your dc is concerned - shadowing their every move to stop them falling/having an accident on play equipment etc. Was it said in a self-deprecating way, as though she was acknowledging that she might be a bit ott? Context is everything!

Reallybadidea · 28/07/2025 07:53

Well helicopter parent doesn't mean what she thinks it does. She probably just means that she is always going to be around for them if you can't be.

Inlawsfromhell456 · 28/07/2025 07:49

NoweverytimeIgoforthemailbox · 28/07/2025 07:43

But if she is a parent herself then she is just making a commemt on the way she interacts with children.

Show quote history

Is she a parent herself? Also, my point was to call out, saying the op is possessive and jealous , which is just a werid and nasty thing to say.

Taxed · 28/07/2025 07:43

What harm is your SIL is causing by this? What do you think her intentions are?

NoweverytimeIgoforthemailbox · 28/07/2025 07:43

Inlawsfromhell456 · 28/07/2025 07:40

Oh yes referring to yourself as a helicopter parent to someone elses child is perfectly normal and common... let's call the op possessive and jealous instead.

Said no one ever.

Show quote history

But if she is a parent herself then she is just making a commemt on the way she interacts with children.

Inlawsfromhell456 · 28/07/2025 07:40

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ.

Oh yes referring to yourself as a helicopter parent to someone elses child is perfectly normal and common... let's call the op possessive and jealous instead.

Said no one ever.

Catsandcannedbeans · 28/07/2025 00:27

I probably wouldn’t care if it’s an isolated incident, she was probably just trying to be funny. I also agree the more people care about your kid the better - and the more people you keep on side the more people will watch them while you go out and do fun stuff. Sometimes my in laws were overbearing, especially when DD was a baby - but I think it was mainly excitement.

Franjipanl8r · 27/07/2025 23:55

Does it really matter? She might not even know what “helicopter parent” means, plenty of people misinterpret sayings.

Tweedled · 27/07/2025 23:40

I wouldn’t take offence at that.
I would take it she is saying she is like a helicopter parent, watching over your child when she’s with them in case they get hurt or something.

IZK · 27/07/2025 23:38

Yeah we're probably going to need a bit more info OP.

DoYouReally · 27/07/2025 23:37

You should tell her there isn't a vacancy.

She's an aunt, anything else is overstepping.

Greencustardmonster · 27/07/2025 23:36

it depends on how she said it. If she was talking to her brother and describing looking after DC at the park and hovering while DC went on the monkey bars I’d say it was perfectly fine as a one off.

If she’s talking to a bunch of her friends and outlining her position on DC’s vaccinations or constantly describing herself as a parent then that’s problematic.

Marmalady75 · 27/07/2025 23:33

I wouldn’t be happy about anyone except DH or me calling themselves a parent of my child. That sounds very possessive to me. My sister adores DS, but if she said she was his mum there would be an almighty clash.

nomas · 27/07/2025 23:32

“You’re a helicopter aunt”.

”Don’t be silly, you can’t be a helicopter parent to a niece”

Use either one depending on how obnoxious she is.

Ilovelurchers · 27/07/2025 23:30

Not if she just said it once as a throw away comment, and is otherwise sane and nice.

I would only start to worry if she consistently describes herself as your child's parents. She probably just used the phrase to mean she is anxious about their well being when babysitting. (As you would hope she would Bez to be fair!).

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