To want to go on holiday, then don’t want to go the week before?!

I think this is understandable and quite normal! Especially judging from responses. I’m the same.

I think the admin/ logistical side of it with a family is quite a lot - and you think of everything that could go wrong - so in fact the lead up is objectively a bit of a pain in the neck!

This year i had the most irrational anxiety about holiday. I couldn’t sleep properly for about a week before

must be age / hormone related

I've decided I'm going to keep a wash bag and a charger/adapter pack all ready to go as these are probably my worst part of packing - have I got what I need, where is it, do I need to pack it morning of travel etc. Apart from technical gear (walking boots, beach stuff) and my headphones/laptop/phone, the rest is just a case of "this t-shirt and these sandals will do".

Im the same and not autistic. I’m always seeing lots of stuff I routinely do as being things that people with autism or adhd do. I can only think there must be some overlap with those things and someone who is prone to anxiety or likes control for whatever reason, in my case trauma. I also like to punish myself I think so not taking the right clothes on holiday or not taking my hair straighteners as I’ll look like shit anyway so what’s the point.

Oh god, yes, exactly this!!

I have two autistic DC, one who would tolerate the beach for about 30 minutes, the other would happily stay hours. Twins, so same age.

Neither are independent, so need 24/7 supervision.

Neither actually want to go to the beach. It would be a logistical nightmare to even try. Being able to teleport in and out would be a dream 😂❤️

Fair enough! It’s actually the reason I ended up being diagnosed as I’d never met anyone else who felt the same way

I'm like this and I'm NOT autistic! We go on a lot of holidays (we go again in less than two weeks) and I always get the 'don't want to go now' feeling within two weeks of departure.

This thread couldn’t have come at a better time! Going away tomorrow, work has been horrendous, it’s been a really challenging year and I’ve been living for this break.

Now I’m procrastinating and in a foul mood as I can’t be bothered to pack. It all seems overwhelming and too much hassle. Hate myself for feeling like this as I know I’m so fortunate. Also get slight health anxiety and panicky about forgetting stuff. 😂.
I will be fine when we arrive at the airport….I wonder if this is a peri/menopause thing as I never used to be like it…..even when the kids were small and everything was down to me.

My DH is like this. Had a proper strop yesterday. I told DD he's always been like this, just ignore him, it's the stress of packing and forgetting something. He changed suitcases at 6 this morning (I had told him he'd need to but he ignored me). He'll be delightful (and on the case if any emergencies) while we're away.

Snap. I get really irrationally angry and upset about packing and (if I don’t watch myself) kind of punish myself by not taking enough clothes. Some kind of self sabotage?

but yes op I have this , the can’t be arsed stage. I do love holidays though when I get there.

This is my DHs view. We have worked hard for a lovely house so nowhere (that we can afford!) quite measures up. I also miss the ocean and wish we lived somewhere the coast was more accessible. I mainly wish I could teleport to a beach resort and teleport home at bedtime!

I’m going on holiday tomorrow and feel similar. I’ve let DH be in charge of all the washing and packing this week, I haven’t even started packing for myself.

I find the actual travel (particularly flying) stressful. There are lots of things that could go wrong that impact the journey e.g. taxi not showing up, delays on the motorway, long delays to the flight. This makes me overthink the planning e.g. should I have booked the taxi earlier, what if the suitcases weigh too much, will the passport be ok with that minor crease in it.

Whilst it is worth it when I get there, the balance has tipped a bit for me. This year we are staying at home (saving money) and doing day trips. I'm partly jealous of other people's trips and partly relieved I don't have the hassle.

I’m ND and exactly the same. The long term organisation and anticipation of a holiday is fantastic. Then just before I go I feel overwhelmed and anxious and cba about it all.

Booked to take my son to a theme park in North America, and I'm so anxious about going now. If I knew then what I know now, I never would have booked it. Hopefully it will be ok, but I'm scared we'll be detained

I’m like this. What’s worse is these days, I don’t enjoy the holiday either. I’m not sure why.

I'm exactly the same!

The joy for me is in the planning. I get stressed and grumpy with the packing and final details, but I love it when I'm there.

I think it's made worse by dh actively kicking against the organizing. "I'll pack later". Great! Fucking great that you will at that point, when it's annoying late to sort, we will find out there is no room for your stuff, you don't have half of what you need etc etc.

Yes, I’m the same. I think it’s a combination of hassle and nerves. There’s so much pressure to have a good time. What if you don’t?

Every time I’m the same - in fact 48 hours before if someone offered me my money back I’d take it every time.
I think as pp a lot of it is to do with shouldering all the mental load of the holiday and worrying that everyone else will enjoy it.
I had 4 days away with work at a conference last year, my secretary booked and organised everything - I honestly enjoyed it more than the 2 week holiday we’d had in America earlier that month 😬

Ooh this is so me. So look forward to getting away right up until the week or two before and then could not be less excited if I tried 😂

I was like this when the mental load for the family landed on me, now kids have gone, dh and I split the stuff like booking airport parking, day before we chuck stuff in a bag, last minute tickets’passport’money check. It’s so much easier. Now I no longer get stressed.

100% me. We’re away now and having a brilliant time but last week I’d have quite happily cancelled, I was getting stressed about the weather, a situation I’d read about the beaches, the long flight (first time long haul as a family for ages) plus all the little stuff that if I just cracked on and did it would be fine but because I’m me I leave to the last minute, packing, shopping etc, then wanting the house to be immaculate before we go, etc etc it goes on. Happens every time. Given we go away a lot I don’t know why I do it to myself 🤦🏼‍♀️

Do you enjoy it once there? That's good at least if you do.

I hate holidays. I get so stressed out about the prep. The packing, the planning etc. but then once I'm there I also worry the entire time about getting ill and the whole thing being ruined or something we have booked to going wrong that I don't have a good time. I also physically get very tired and.bloated from travel, I don't sleep at all well when away from my own bed so find it physically gruelling. The family love it though so I guess that's what matters.

Perhaps when the dc have flown the nest and we could spontaneously decide to fly away the day before it might be nicer without all the build up.