Page 4 | What do men say if their DW/DP thinks they fancy another woman?

bjkhilg890 · 2025-07-27T20:12:12+00:00

There’s no AIBU really…. But what do men usually say if they’ve been caught checking out another woman, and/or being overly familiar with her. Wife will ask: ‘do you like her?’ Do husbands usually say ‘no, she’s not my type/don’t like blondes/bust too small/legs too short’ or something to that effect? Or something else?

Original poster

bjkhilg890 · 27/07/2025 22:27

Zanoni · 27/07/2025 22:05

If it’s someone famous he’ll say yeah she’s a bit of me, I’m the same, he knows full well that even though we’ve never met Jason Orange holds a special place in my heart. If it’s someone who is in his ‘real life’ he’d lie.. So would I.

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What would he say if it was someone in real life? ´Nah she’s not my type’?

OP posts:

DoneitagainhaventI · 27/07/2025 22:27

Zanoni · 27/07/2025 22:17

He’s never done it in front of me,unless it’s someone in a movie (happened last week when a Margo Robbie film came on tv) I should imagine when he’s alone he does. I don’t really care though.

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Well you are obviously a very confident person and secure in your relationship.

My personal view is if you are in a monogamous loving relationship then telling your partner, or making it obvious, you are sexually attracted to another person is disrespectful and inappropriate.

Original poster

bjkhilg890 · 27/07/2025 22:24

DoneitagainhaventI · 27/07/2025 21:54

This type of thread is depressing.

Why stay with a man who spends his time eyeing up other women?
Why demean yourself by even asking him if he " fancies" some one else?

Find a guy who has respect for you and actually likes and values you and doesn't spend his time looking for a better option even when he's sat next to you.

Edited

Thank you but this thread isn’t about myself - I’m single. It’s just hypothetical. I have been on the recieving end of a man staring at me with his wife next to him and it makes me glad I’m single tbh!

OP posts:

Arlanymor · 27/07/2025 22:22

What's happened?

ItsBouqeeeet · 27/07/2025 22:21

Me and DH are very open and honest. Everybody looks - it's normal. 😊

'

Original poster

bjkhilg890 · 27/07/2025 22:19

Catsandcannedbeans · 27/07/2025 21:38

I know my husband probably checks out other women to some degree. He has a very spesific type so if I see a woman who fits that when we are out together I normally say “don’t look there” as a joke. To be honest, if I caught him checking out someone who looked nothing like me I would be pretty upset, but that’s never happened.

If I see a very attractive man I will have a quick glance, so I don’t get angry at him for doing the same. When we were on holiday we had a waiter who I will admit was very handsome and nice and at the end of the meal DH said “I’m not tipping your little boyfriend by the way”. I think having a bit of a joke about it is the best way to go. Obviously if I caught him looking for too long though I would blind him.

Thanks this made me smile! What’s your husband’s ´type ´ just out of interest? At least he’s xhexking out women who look like you 😅I recently saw this middle aged man eyeballing me and I look nothing like his wife, and I don’t just mean in terms of age, I mean in terms of features… I think you can be tje same type but just different age groups.

OP posts:

soiledblogg · 27/07/2025 22:18

Zanoni · 27/07/2025 22:17

He’s never done it in front of me,unless it’s someone in a movie (happened last week when a Margo Robbie film came on tv) I should imagine when he’s alone he does. I don’t really care though.

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Ahhh yes Margot Robbie . Men go ga ga over her .

soiledblogg · 27/07/2025 22:18

It’s normal for men to check out attractive women The only time I would find it upsetting would be if I knew he really fancied one of my friends or relatives.

Zanoni · 27/07/2025 22:17

DoneitagainhaventI · 27/07/2025 22:07

Op's question was But what do men usually say if they’ve been caught checking out another woman, and/or being overly familiar with her.
So you are saying if your H is sat there eyeing up another woman or is being over familiar with her you don't feel disrespected?

It sounds as though you must be very tolerant or you have quite an open relationship then.

Do you similarly eye up other men or get over familiar with them when your H is sat there and is he similarly tolerant?

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He’s never done it in front of me,unless it’s someone in a movie (happened last week when a Margo Robbie film came on tv) I should imagine when he’s alone he does. I don’t really care though.

PollyBell · 27/07/2025 22:15

SpanThatWorld · 27/07/2025 22:10

In 25+ years of marriage I have never seen my husband "checking out" another woman. I'm sure that he has found other women attractive but I've never observed anything and I have no idea what he would say.

Why would you need to know what "men" might say?

Edited

Same, i am aware of some women on tv he likes but he is is extremely subtle about it i have never ever seen him checking anyone out same as me so no idea and find the question odd

Original poster

bjkhilg890 · 27/07/2025 22:15

BigFatLiar · 27/07/2025 21:37

Why not?

'Do you like her?' Sure she seems like a nice person.
Or does
'Do you like her?' Mean are you intending to leave me and run off with her
If its the second and you think your partner will lie then he should definitely back quietly out of the relationship.

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´Like ´ here means like physically, fancy. It doesn’t refer to personalities. It also doesn’t mean planning to run off with the person!

OP posts:

LawrieForShepherdsBoy · 27/07/2025 22:12

I don’t know what dh would say cause I’d never ask him. I’d assume that he frequently finds other women attractive - but I’d rather not know anything more specific. But if I had to guess, he’d probably lie diplomatically.

SpanThatWorld · 27/07/2025 22:10

In 25+ years of marriage I have never seen my husband "checking out" another woman. I'm sure that he has found other women attractive but I've never observed anything and I have no idea what he would say.

Why would you need to know what "men" might say?

DoneitagainhaventI · 27/07/2025 22:07

Zanoni · 27/07/2025 22:00

I don’t see it that way at all. I aware that there are women in the world that my husband will find attractive and that’s fine. I don’t feel disrespected by it.

Show quote history

Op's question was But what do men usually say if they’ve been caught checking out another woman, and/or being overly familiar with her.
So you are saying if your H is sat there eyeing up another woman or is being over familiar with her you don't feel disrespected?

It sounds as though you must be very tolerant or you have quite an open relationship then.

Do you similarly eye up other men or get over familiar with them when your H is sat there and is he similarly tolerant?

Zanoni · 27/07/2025 22:05

bjkhilg890 · 27/07/2025 21:23

Thanks that’s very diplomatic. What do you think your husband would say in the same position?

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If it’s someone famous he’ll say yeah she’s a bit of me, I’m the same, he knows full well that even though we’ve never met Jason Orange holds a special place in my heart. If it’s someone who is in his ‘real life’ he’d lie.. So would I.

Zanoni · 27/07/2025 22:00

DoneitagainhaventI · 27/07/2025 21:54

This type of thread is depressing.

Why stay with a man who spends his time eyeing up other women?
Why demean yourself by even asking him if he " fancies" some one else?

Find a guy who has respect for you and actually likes and values you and doesn't spend his time looking for a better option even when he's sat next to you.

Edited

I don’t see it that way at all. I aware that there are women in the world that my husband will find attractive and that’s fine. I don’t feel disrespected by it.

DoneitagainhaventI · 27/07/2025 21:54

This type of thread is depressing.

Why stay with a man who spends his time eyeing up other women?
Why demean yourself by even asking him if he " fancies" some one else?

Find a guy who has respect for you and actually likes and values you and doesn't spend his time looking for a better option even when he's sat next to you.

Catsandcannedbeans · 27/07/2025 21:38

I know my husband probably checks out other women to some degree. He has a very spesific type so if I see a woman who fits that when we are out together I normally say “don’t look there” as a joke. To be honest, if I caught him checking out someone who looked nothing like me I would be pretty upset, but that’s never happened.

If I see a very attractive man I will have a quick glance, so I don’t get angry at him for doing the same. When we were on holiday we had a waiter who I will admit was very handsome and nice and at the end of the meal DH said “I’m not tipping your little boyfriend by the way”. I think having a bit of a joke about it is the best way to go. Obviously if I caught him looking for too long though I would blind him.

BigFatLiar · 27/07/2025 21:37

YodasHairyButt · 27/07/2025 21:13

I can’t imagine many of them tell the truth.

Why not?

'Do you like her?' Sure she seems like a nice person.
Or does
'Do you like her?' Mean are you intending to leave me and run off with her
If its the second and you think your partner will lie then he should definitely back quietly out of the relationship.

Original poster

bjkhilg890 · 27/07/2025 21:36

IZK · 27/07/2025 21:32

I'd go with that then.

And then think of another 10,20,30+ replies and go with those too.

Because again, adults are all individuals.

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We are individuals but there are some trends amongst is too…. Many of us have things in common. So I was asking on here to get a consensus of what lots of men would do.

OP posts:

IZK · 27/07/2025 21:32

bjkhilg890 · 27/07/2025 21:30

Of course they aren’t, but there are some commonalities. I also think women check out other men less often than men do women.

I’m not married, so I don’t know what I’d say…. Possibly ‘he’s good looking but I prefer you obviously’, although I’ve never actually been in that situation before.

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I'd go with that then.

And then think of another 10,20,30+ replies and go with those too.

Because again, adults are all individuals.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 27/07/2025 21:31

And tbf if he asked me I would say only window shopping, but we do have a relationship where we can joke about like that with neither of us taking offence

Original poster

bjkhilg890 · 27/07/2025 21:30

IZK · 27/07/2025 21:27

Women and men aren't robots.

They also don't become completely different people just because they chose to marry.

What would you say if your DH noticed you checking out another man and he asked if you fancied him?

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Of course they aren’t, but there are some commonalities. I also think women check out other men less often than men do women.

I’m not married, so I don’t know what I’d say…. Possibly ‘he’s good looking but I prefer you obviously’, although I’ve never actually been in that situation before.

OP posts:

sweeneytoddsrazor · 27/07/2025 21:28

Mine would say yeah she's nice but you don't buy a new car every time you look in a garage window

IZK · 27/07/2025 21:27

bjkhilg890 · 27/07/2025 21:22

Women and men are different though, at least in general.

Show quote history

Women and men aren't robots.

They also don't become completely different people just because they chose to marry.

What would you say if your DH noticed you checking out another man and he asked if you fancied him?