Page 3 | What do men say if their DW/DP thinks they fancy another woman?

bjkhilg890 · 2025-07-27T20:12:12+00:00

There’s no AIBU really…. But what do men usually say if they’ve been caught checking out another woman, and/or being overly familiar with her. Wife will ask: ‘do you like her?’ Do husbands usually say ‘no, she’s not my type/don’t like blondes/bust too small/legs too short’ or something to that effect? Or something else?

DoneitagainhaventI · 28/07/2025 21:42

IcedPurple · 28/07/2025 20:37

Because if your partner fancies a famous actress or football player than it's exceedingly unlikely that they'll ever meet them, let alone have a chance to make their fantasy come true. It's just banter.

But when it's Steve from IT or Jess from number 14, it's a bit more 'real'.

Show quote history

If they have a fantasy about having sex with another person, whether they be famous or not, then I don't want to hear it. Let them keep their fantasies to themselves.
I really hate how people use the expression " it's just banter" to excuse inappropriate conversations.

IcedPurple · 28/07/2025 20:37

DoneitagainhaventI · 28/07/2025 20:14

I don't see the difference between fancying a famous person and a person in real life. Saying you fancy a famous person is just as disrespectful of your partner.
Your idea of fun is different to mine.

Show quote history

Because if your partner fancies a famous actress or football player than it's exceedingly unlikely that they'll ever meet them, let alone have a chance to make their fantasy come true. It's just banter.

But when it's Steve from IT or Jess from number 14, it's a bit more 'real'.

DoneitagainhaventI · 28/07/2025 20:14

Hellomeee · 28/07/2025 18:49

What even a famous person? If dp or I comment on a fit famous person, we ask if they'd make the laminated list. It's all bit of fun.

Show quote history

I don't see the difference between fancying a famous person and a person in real life. Saying you fancy a famous person is just as disrespectful of your partner.
Your idea of fun is different to mine.

Hellomeee · 28/07/2025 18:49

DoneitagainhaventI · 27/07/2025 22:27

Well you are obviously a very confident person and secure in your relationship.

My personal view is if you are in a monogamous loving relationship then telling your partner, or making it obvious, you are sexually attracted to another person is disrespectful and inappropriate.

Show quote history

What even a famous person? If dp or I comment on a fit famous person, we ask if they'd make the laminated list. It's all bit of fun.

Original poster

bjkhilg890 · 28/07/2025 18:49

Arlanymor · 27/07/2025 22:22

What's happened?

Nothing actually - I’m single. This is just hypothetical.

A while ago I was the woman being stared at, but I can’t say I’m invested in what a couple of strangers do/say.

OP posts:

Original poster

bjkhilg890 · 28/07/2025 18:42

22O725 · 28/07/2025 16:42

Why would I care?

Show quote history

Some women do…. They chew their DH/DP’s ear off for it 😂

OP posts:

ginasevern · 28/07/2025 16:59

I'd say that if a man fancied a film/pop star he'd probably be honest. Although I suspect he'd be inclined not go full on lust in front of his wife. If he fancied someone in real life and had been eyeing her up at a BBQ for example, he'd lie and say she was not his type.

22O725 · 28/07/2025 16:42

bjkhilg890 · 28/07/2025 16:02

So you wouldn’t care if your DH found another woman attractive if he admitted it? So you just wouldn’t ask because you wouldn’t care either way?

Show quote history

Why would I care?

Greebosmum · 28/07/2025 16:33

Mine used to say he could appreciate a good looking woman in the same way he appreciates a Spitfire or a Mark 2 Jaguar. Looks nice but is happy with what he has. I do point out people I think he would find attractive and he does the same to me. He is absolutely the other half of me. I would be lost without him and he says the same of me. Not sure what I'm rambling on about now so will stop.

IcedPurple · 28/07/2025 16:12

bjkhilg890 · 27/07/2025 21:22

Women and men are different though, at least in general.

Show quote history

Well yeah, men and women are different.

But both men and women will find other people attractive, even when committed to another partner. That doesn't mean they'll act on the attraction, even assuming the other person is interested, but it's not realistic to expect never to feel attracted to another man/woman just because you said 'I do'.

VeryStressedMum · 28/07/2025 16:11

@bjkhilg890 chatting is not a problem we all talk to people. Banter and compliments is not how I'd expect my husband to interact with another woman.

Original poster

bjkhilg890 · 28/07/2025 16:02

22O725 · 28/07/2025 15:45

I would literally never ask my husband ’do you like her?’ - that’s probably because I’m quite secure though.

Edited

So you wouldn’t care if your DH found another woman attractive if he admitted it? So you just wouldn’t ask because you wouldn’t care either way?

OP posts:

Original poster

bjkhilg890 · 28/07/2025 15:59

VeryStressedMum · 28/07/2025 15:49

Caught looking at someone is very different to being overly familiar with someone
The former I wouldn't care too much about, the latter I would.

Fair enough. By overly familiar I just meant chatting/joking/banter/compliments….

OP posts:

VeryStressedMum · 28/07/2025 15:49

Caught looking at someone is very different to being overly familiar with someone
The former I wouldn't care too much about, the latter I would.

22O725 · 28/07/2025 15:45

I would literally never ask my husband ’do you like her?’ - that’s probably because I’m quite secure though.

Arlanymor · 28/07/2025 15:43

bjkhilg890 · 28/07/2025 13:09

Aren’t there lots of hypothetical questions on Mumsnet? Not everything is personal….

I have been in an (embarrassing) situation where a middle aged husband just gawped at me for minutes in front of his wife, who was clearly annoyed… I wouldn’t say that I’m invested or worried a out that situation to the point of starting a thread about it though!

Show quote history

Yes there are, but there are lots of drip feeds too - hence it's sometimes easier just to ask directly.

Original poster

bjkhilg890 · 28/07/2025 13:09

Arlanymor · 27/07/2025 22:43

Ok. Seems an odd question to ask with no context, that's all.

Show quote history

Aren’t there lots of hypothetical questions on Mumsnet? Not everything is personal….

I have been in an (embarrassing) situation where a middle aged husband just gawped at me for minutes in front of his wife, who was clearly annoyed… I wouldn’t say that I’m invested or worried a out that situation to the point of starting a thread about it though!

OP posts:

Endofyear · 27/07/2025 22:56

I don't really catch my DH checking out other women, he may well do when he's not with me! But I often say 'isn't soandso beautiful?' or ' hasn't she got lovely hair' etc and he will agree. Thinking someone looks attractive isn't a problem, it's completely normal!

Arlanymor · 27/07/2025 22:43

bjkhilg890 · 27/07/2025 22:30

Y nothing - I’m single! This is hypothetical.

Show quote history

Ok. Seems an odd question to ask with no context, that's all.

DoneitagainhaventI · 27/07/2025 22:36

bjkhilg890 · 27/07/2025 22:29

Possibly it’s disrespectful but is it also not just honest if the man genuinely is sexually attractzd to another woman? Do you think it’s better for him to tell a white lie and say he isn’t?

Show quote history

As I said in my earlier post I wouldn't demean myself by asking.

It's usually perfectly obvious when someone is eyeing someone up so what's the point of the question anyway?

If my partner was eying up another woman while I was sat there I would walk out because I wouldn't sit there and be made a fool of.

Original poster

bjkhilg890 · 27/07/2025 22:33

SpanThatWorld · 27/07/2025 22:10

In 25+ years of marriage I have never seen my husband "checking out" another woman. I'm sure that he has found other women attractive but I've never observed anything and I have no idea what he would say.

Why would you need to know what "men" might say?

Edited

I don’t need to know, but I am just curious, so I have started this thread to hear peoples’ anecdotes.

I’m single so I’m not actually upset or invested in this in any way.

OP posts:

BlueEyedBogWitch · 27/07/2025 22:33

I often point out fanciable women to DH. I
know his type! He just looks sheepish, haha.

He knows I’ve got the hots for Tom Hardy and sends me pics. We’re married, not dead!

Catsandcannedbeans · 27/07/2025 22:33

@bjkhilg890 he likes dark curly hair and alternative fashion, also likes glasses which is good for me as I’ve never got on with contacts. I could probably pick the women he would like out of a line up. He says his type is “spooky, speccy and sexy” which I always thought was funny. Also weirdly, me and his only other serious gf both taught maths, so maybe he has a subconscious preference for mathematics skills. He did also used to fancy his maths teacher but that was when he was about 12.

He could probably pick out men I would like as well, he has always been jealous of Jarvis Cocker because I really fancied him. Little does he know the only reason I liked him at first was because he looked a bit like him. I have always had a strong preference for skinny men who dress weird.

Original poster

bjkhilg890 · 27/07/2025 22:30

Arlanymor · 27/07/2025 22:22

What's happened?

Y nothing - I’m single! This is hypothetical.

OP posts:

Original poster

bjkhilg890 · 27/07/2025 22:29

DoneitagainhaventI · 27/07/2025 22:27

Well you are obviously a very confident person and secure in your relationship.

My personal view is if you are in a monogamous loving relationship then telling your partner, or making it obvious, you are sexually attracted to another person is disrespectful and inappropriate.

Show quote history

Possibly it’s disrespectful but is it also not just honest if the man genuinely is sexually attractzd to another woman? Do you think it’s better for him to tell a white lie and say he isn’t?

OP posts: