Husband’s comment

I don’t understand why you can say something non-complimentary about someone else but he can’t say something to you.

We all take bad photos. You’ve extrapolated that to your husband thinks you look like shit, rather than it’s just one bad photo. I took a photo of my husband this weekend and he looks awful in it. I’ve shown him and he knows I think he looks awful in it. It doesn’t mean I think he looks like shit all the time. It means in that moment that I captured the photo it was unflattering. I won’t be deleting it because it has our DC in it and it’s a great one of them.

Also, you said the worst thing was that you get lovely and you were smiling. Implying you now don’t feel lovely because of one bad photo. That you didn’t have a good time because of one bad photo? Even though there is photographic evidence of you having a good time.

Unless there’s a massive drip feed that he always makes little digs about you, then I think the problem is you attach too much value to looks (yours and other people’s). You’re going to let one bad photo ruin a memory of a lovely wedding where you were feeling great and having a great time? You’re going to let that one moment rewrite what you actually felt and experienced.

Commenting that someone has 'aged a lot' is hardly complimentary, though. And yeah, if that's not insulting, his comment isn't either.

Just let it go.

You were nasty about another womans photo….He said yours isn’t so good either 🤷‍♀️

See i don't get this. That's his wife, he owes her more loyalty than some random celeb offspring woman.

On the surface it seems like you are being overly sensitive. You should be able to have a laugh with your DH about a bad photo, there will be bad photos of us all, even the most beautiful women can take a bad photo at times. If this has hurt you so much though is it because your DH doesn't make you feel attractive in general and often tries to put you down?

I dunno, if my DH was saying ‘oh look at the state of XYZ’ celebrity or not, I’d probably be giving him a bit of the ‘you’re no oil painting yourself’ treatment too. Albeit in a joking manner.

Ultimately you’re the one commenting on people ageing but don’t like it when it’s said back to you. It’s annoyed you clearly because it hit a nerve.

And I say this as someone who takes a terrible photo.

He didn't rush, he mentioned one photo and she rushed to see it...she was being catty and he was being funny...

In that case he didn't insult you either.

He just said wait until you see the photo of you.

You went to the photos and you found one you hated.

He didn't insult you. He didn't say: "You look AWFUL in this photo".

You are choosing to be insulted and that's different. He just pointed out that criticising an image of someone else goes both ways - celebrity or not.

It's just a photo - I have shit ones of me and I have lovely ones of me. I bet there are loads of not flattering ones of lots of other family members too. I think that was the only point he was making.

Hmm, safe space to be rude about others? I don't think so. I think good partners pick you up on things when maybe you are being a bit unkind or off-base. That's a good marriage - one where you keep one another honest.

I am sure there are nicer photos of you and I wouldn't ruminate on the one crap one. Or actually if it's digital I would probably give myself a pair of horns and enjoy it being a bit daft and remember how to laugh at myself a bit. Honestly, it's Sunday night. I would move past it now.

@peony89 What you said about the news article of people you don't know is just nothing. Everyone makes comments like this.

It's not the same for your DH to rush to show unflattering photos of you (we all have them!)

I think his reaction was quite nasty and I'd have also been upset in your shoes.

UANBI

If my dp said something derogatory about someone else's looks then I would have done the same tbh.

Can't abide people being insulting because a woman is <shock> aging.

Yeah, this tbh. We all take bad photos.

Yeah I agree with this.

It’s a “don’t dish it out if you can’t take it” one really.

You both made unnecessarily nasty comments about a woman’s appearance, so YAbothBU

You made a negative comment about someone else's photo and - up until that point - he hadn't said a thing about the photo of you, he only did so in response to your negative comment. Was he just trying to make a point to you? He wasn't 'saving anything up' - he said it in response to your unkindness about another woman's photo. He might not have even said it, had you not made your comment first. It's where that whole saying "You're no oil painting either" comes from - it's reminding people to be nicer.

Also... photos are just photos. They aren't exactly how you look in real life. We all have bad photos of us. Even supermodels! I think you need a build a bridge and get over this. He was giving you a taste of your own medicine.

But you were being negative about another woman, he jokenly clearly has sad one of the photos of someone else's wedding isn't great of you.

We found some photos of us on our honeymoon and just after this afternoon...my wife was laughing at how shit she looked in most...eyes closed, not smiling, hair all over the shop...of course I look great in all of mine!

I thought the same…

Surely the point is we can all take a bad photo?

How horrid of him. To shame you by showing you a bad photo of yourself is inexcusable. I’m sorry that happened.