Husband’s comment

OP has changed her story from "I said she's aged a lot and looks like her dad" (presumably an older man still and generally comparing a woman to an old man is considered rude) to "I only said she looked older now"

Which leads me to believe she was quite catty with what she said but as she's been pulled up on it, she's changed the story slightly to look better

I’m so confused that people think that making a comment about some celeb who you will never meet is exactly the same as making a comment about your wife to her face!

I have said nothing unkind to the OP, so your "gotcha" doesn't really work.

I don't 'openly bitch' about others' appearances and I don't think that's what OP did either. There are too many people on here taking things to ridiculous extremes.

And just to add

I've definitely said a sort of "look at the state of her" type catty comment and had family reply "have you looked in a mirror?" type responses.

They haven't "saved up" bad photos, outfits, comments about my looks. They're just responding to me being catty

It’s perfectly ok to privately make a passing comment about someone, as you did.

He was really vindictive. YANBU.

If that was the case he'd have called over there and then, pointing and laugh at the picture and saying how shit she looked.

Why?
Don't judge everyone to your low standards.

But you're all being remarkably unkind to the OP - so the standards are maybe not quite that high!

The meanness and bitchiness exists regardless of whether the subject is there to hear it. And no one wants to hear their partner being mean and bitchy.

If your husband said something derogatory about a female celebrity's appearance you would call him out on it, right? Tell him not to be so unpleasant? Maybe tell him to look in the mirror? I hope you would. Anyway, that's what the OP's husband was doing.

This, absolutely!

DH and I can talk to each other privately about anything and everything - things and people that neither of us has any loyalty to - one of us doesn't then use a comment about some random person as an opportunity to take pot shots at the other, because we love each other and build each other up, not tear each other down.

Talking to your spouse in private about a random person who's not there to hear it is totally different to hurting the person you're meant to love above all others!!

I get it OP. Commenting on a celebrity is not great but what your dh did was actually intended to hurt you and is quite nasty.

I honestly never say anything. I'll think about and discuss the wider context of societal changes and pornification of women and pressure on young girls, if appropriate but no, I don't comment on people's looks at all. Knock yourself out if you want to but understand that it opens the door to others commenting on your appearance. You really can't openly bitch about the way other people look and then piss n moan when others do it too, even when you're on the receiving end.

I'm far from perfect but there you go again with snarky little comments.

#edited for typo.

Ohhh people who make negative comments out of "concern" know exactly what they're doing. Give me an honest-to-god mean girl sneer over faux-concern any day.

I don't think people's appearances are that interesting. People often default to talking about whatever topic's closest to hand in the media but once you actively try to think, and talk, about what you're actually interested in, it's amazing how little celebrities' faces cross your mind.

I honestly don't believe all the people on here who say that they NEVER talk about other people's appearance.

Why?

Don't judge everyone to your low standards.

I agree it's not kind or useful and I couldn't be less interested in celebrities. I'm just aware that other people's appearances are generally interesting to us and that it's a common topic of discussion. I honestly don't believe all the people on here who say that they NEVER talk about other people's appearance. And saying that someone has aged isn't necessarily unkind or insulting. Even a negative comment could be made out of concern rather than cruelty.
*Edited for typo.

Er, yeah.

I don't think it's very kind or useful or fun.

I won't say I've never done this in the past, but it's certainly something I find more and more unacceptable to do (it's the sort of thing my grown-up kids have pulled me up on in the past). I wouldn't think very highly of you if you made a point of sharing how fat or ugly or full of cellulite you thought a celebrity was.

The fact that a shitty tabloid does it doesn't exactly mark it as a great idea. Be better.

Tabloid culture is toxic trash and encourages toxic trash behaviour. Whether a celebrity has had work done or put on weight is not very interesting and makes for boring chat.

I am totally with you and find it fairly sad that some people don't see why being able to have thoughts and NOT express them is somehow weird or unusual.

How do you like them apples.

I am perfectly capable of thinking things and NOT voicing them. It's a life skill that plenty of people have.

If you're watching TV and see that someone's obviously had some work done on their face or has put on loads of weight, do you really never say anything?! The tabloids are full of unflattering pictures of celebs for the exact reason that people do notice and like to talk about these things. Obviously, that's very different to saying something to someone's face.

I'm not failing to see anything. I have a friend who comments on people's looks in a derogatory fashion. She's done it in hushed tones so only I can hear. I've pulled her up on it before and she's snapped back at me. I don't go out with her anymore. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to be in the company of someone so purile. Maybe your husband feels similar towards you. Maybe that's too strong but he might just be fed up of it. As others have already said, learn from it and be better.