To not want to look after my daughter any more

My son is 6 and the EXACE same.
Except hes not able to attend school now.
He doesn't sleep, trash talks me all day long, wants me to die, attacks myself and his sister.
I don't meet the criteria for according to Social services.

Always happy to chat to other parents in same boat.

To add to my above post Risperidone can be prescribed from age 5; Fluoxetine from age 8.

These are NHS guidelines, btw!

My Son is heavily medicated. It helped for about 6 months.

Two people who have said they are social workers have stated that it is in the best interests of a violent child to remain within the family home at all times. I’m assuming they are basing this statement on documentary evidence and not just on warm fuzzy feelings.

At no point have either of them said that a violent child remaining in the home is in the best interests of the rest of the family.

I find that quite telling.

@x2boys Fluoxetine, an SSRI, is often prescribed for autistic children with challenging behaviour, especially if accompanied by high anxiety/OCD, both of which my DD had.
DD started this at 10.
After a couple of years this was no longer adequate, and her behaviour became awful. She was then switched to Sertraline (another SSRI) and Risperidone, an antipsychotic often prescribed for autistic children with challenging behaviour. Frankly, I believe this saved her life. And mine.
There were other children at DDs school also on these medications. One started at 9.

Medications won't be prescribed for all autistic children, because, as you know, they're all very different with different behaviours and needs.
But the high functioning, verbal children who are struggling with anxiety, OCD, angry outbursts etc. are sometimes prescribed SSRIs and/or antipsychotics.

Medicated with what my son us severely autistic non verbal etc medication has never been suggested, and I know a lot of autistic children/ young adults through my son I don't think any of them are medicated at 8
I on an American Facebook group for parents and carers of severely autistic children/ adults and I know medication is used far more widely in America.

I'm not trying to scare her at all. I apologise to her wholeheartedly if I did. I should of added the violent autistic patients we had were mid teens and non verbal! Her daughter IS verbal so that helps ALOT!! I am sure that she will get much, much better with therapy and assistance and as other posters have posted with teenagers and adult autistic children who were violent at her age but after age 10 one poster said, after therapy and assistance their child was no longer violent towards them and someone else said their adult son who is 27 was the same but amicable at other times and therapy helped him alot. There is a huge range of behaviours based on the spectrum of autism, the fact her daughter is verbal is a fantastic sign and she is more likely to benefit greatly from assistance and therapy. And regarding medication I have ADHD and needed to be medicated as young as her daughter so YES!!!!! ALOT of autistic children ARE in fact medicated to mellow out the violence alongside other practical therapies. Apologise I did not word my post better. I was shhing my 17month old to sleep so was distracted. I did not mean to frighten her at all.

I would also add DS3 (now 12) improved a lot when he stopped attending school. He now has EOTIS. He was not a masker from YR1, which made the EHCP battle a bit easier.

I have 4 autistic DC. DS3 is the only one with challenging behaviour. It's incredibly difficult and I have considered at times that splitting would be better for us all.

I don't think it's a horrific idea, and there's a dad I've seen on social media that documents his situation, where he and his ex have 2 autistic DC together and they swap them over weekly. They trigger each other and this set up works for them.

For the OP, I hope you'll take the useful information here, like requesting a carer's assessment from SS and applying for DLA.

Whilst no behaviour has been seen at school, do they observe any difficulties? If you have the funds, maybe look into an OT assessment including sensory. This has been the most useful assessment DS3 has had.

You like your studies don't you?
The fact is there is a limit on what csn be offered at this stage that's a fact no its not ideal but it's reality.

Hi OP, so sorry you're struggling.
I just wanted to say you're not alone!
My daughter is 19 now but lots of what you describe have been issues for us over the years.
Dd had always been challenging but excelled academically and had model behavior anywhere except at home!
Age 10 she had what we would describe as a nervous breakdown. She couldn't get out of bed & totally shut down. We ended up at CAMHS where she was quickly dx with high functioning ASD but the psychiatrist mentioned a possible personality disorder (then discharged us & denied ever saying this!)
Long story short, shes improved a lot just with age and managed to get English & maths gcses (I home educated her as couldn't get her to school) but she's currently doing absolutely nothing and we worry a lot.
I think your dd could be lashing out at you simply because you're her mum and we are often the closest to our young kids.
Im afraid all i can suggest is to hang on in there! Hopefully, she will mellow a bit as she matures.

This is an 8 year old child you are talking about nobody ,can say how's shes going to present as an adult stop terrifying the Op
I'm not sure whst medication you think can be prescribed to mellow out an 8 year old?

Omg OP, my heart just breaks for you! I live in Australia but was born in UK, moved here just over 20years ago. I'm a nurse and have been terrified when we've had violent autistic patients, they have superhuman strength and it is terrifying! I can't even imagine how you must be feeling and you've done amazingly well to cope as long as you have with NO support. I agree with all of the others, lay it on thick! Say you are scared for yours and your other families loves, particularly yours and your children's. Your husband should be helping when she becomes violent! Atleast to help you safely restrain her arms and legs until she calms down. I'm so sorry you're in this predicament and that this is your life. I totally understand and am so compassionate with what you're having to deal with on a daily basis. They just get stronger and stronger as they grow up! I think the suggestion of medication to mellow her out is the very first step that a GP can prescribe! And a referral to a psychiatrist specialising in violent autistic children and of course social services for an emergency disability social worker to put carers in place under the disability funding you have where you are. We have NDIS here in Australia. Hang in there sweetheart, I'm so sorry this is happening. My heart really hurts so much for you and your family.

The OP has other children. Do they not matter? Numerous posters have pointed out that respite care is hard to secure and that social services prioritise the family adjusting to accommodate the behaviour of the challenging child.

The siblings of that child may look back in future years and wonder if they ever mattered to the state at all.

Unsurprisingly the studies into sibling violence show that the victims who grow up with violent siblings in the home:

• are more likely to develop substance abuse issues as adults
• are more likely to become victims of domestic abuse
• are less able to identify abusive relationships as adults
• are more likely to suffer relationship breakdowns as adults
• have poorer mental health and low self-esteem as adults
• have lower educational attainment and work success due to childhood belittling
• have riskier sexual encounters
• are desensitised to violence and may themselves become perpetrators
• are more likely to need support from state agencies in their adult lives

In my LA there are various groups / charities that offer organised days out at a subsidised cost ,or activities for children with autism and other disabilities
I would look at your local offer and see whsts available
If nothing else you will meet families with chilldren with similar needs it might make you feel less alone.

This is a very shocking post. The disabled 8yo is also an innocent child, surely you can see that?

I'm genuinely shocked an adult would demonise a young child in this way.

We’ve finally managed to get our DD1 into a residential school, at the age of 16, now she finally has an EHCP. (Thankfully for us, the school is near us and does weekly boarding.) We were in the exact same situation as the OP when she was 8, and a residential school was a long way from being a possibility then.

Our DD1 (who is adopted) was violent towards me then, but, to reassure the OP, the violence towards us did stop after the age of 10, after therapy. She still has violent outbursts, but she throws things rather than lashing out at me.

The best place to start ime us early help the Op probably won't get much in terms of practical support but will probably be offered parenting courses,
Where she csn at least meet other parents in a similar situation
Respite is available but it's limited and varies between LA,s to whats actually available.

Yes but they will not just take her child. Even if she asks them to. So unless you know the answer for the question for sure there’s no point in getting her hopes up

It must be unbearable, Op. I hope someone can give you some ideas on how to access assistance and repite care.
Brainstorming (with no experience) ...
Can you have an Occupational Therapist visit you to give some options about how to set up your home with some safe zones and behaviour ideas?
Can your husband wear cricket box and mask protection and fend off your daughter?
Is there a division of Police that can be called? Can you line one room with strong walls and soft floors and lock your daughter in there while you await help?
Can your daughter be placed on medication that tempers her mood?
You are at wits end. I hope some real answers materialise.

You need help from a social worker. They won't take your child away they will help you more. They will get someone involved with behaviour issues for special needs. I know how your feeling its horrible but you need help

Hi
My son is now 27, went through many schools and struggled with behaviours, he is autistic, has adhd and complex special needs although to look at him you wouldn't know.
He too struggled with school holidays, the loss of his normal routine etc, was violent and at other times extremely amicable
In the first instance I would contact your GP as an urgent matter and ask them to.make an urgent safeguarding referral to your local authority. We managed to obtain extra help with carers, funded activities for him to attend etc whilst school has broken up for holidays and respite, not without a fight, try to find out what help is available in your area as they will not tell you, you need to ensure yiu ask for everything you need. If you don't get any help then go higher and higher, most local authorities publish contact details for some of department heads, get as many friends, familiy and professionals to back you up as possible.
I hope this helps in some way!

But this thread is about one 8 year old girl which you have no idea of how she's going to present in years to come .